Having stayed 13-14 years in the status of mother, you suddenly with horror realized that your "angel" grew up and became uncontrollable. Attempts to strengthen control in this case are vain. The main thing not to panic and conform to some rules.
It is necessary to remember that for children in the teenage period the authority of parents sharply falls, and friends and the street come out on top. The stronger you will oppose to it, the more furiously the child will assert the right to personal liberty.
Accept the fact that your child matures. Accustom themselves to be knocked when you want to enter the room of the teenager. Thereby you will let know that you respect its right to freedom and personal space.
The first love, desire to be as all – you should learn to trust the child in these questions. You can explain that you will always be a friend and the assistant, but it is impossible to insist on discussion of any personal subjects.
Explaining to the teenager of the rule of conduct, be also guided by freedom of choice. Avoid direct blackmail: "If you do not make lessons now – will not go for a walk, etc.". Motivate with different options of consequences: "Not made lessons lead to decrease in educational marks, and it means that you will have no privileges at entering a higher education institution" or "You will be able to achieve much if you study well".
Do not forbid communication with friends who (in your opinion) have an untoward influence. Quietly explain: "It is your life, you can try cigarettes or drugs, but much more abruptly you will look if you show will power now, than then to try to overcome already inveterate habit".
Impart responsibility and as for the sexual intercourses. Statistically, the percent of teenage pregnancy grows every year. Tactfully inform the child on contraception methods. It is important to inform consciousness of the teenager of the fact that the love is not rough sex in a hurry because of fear to be caught, and tenderness and mutual respect.
Avoid aloud to call in question teenage feelings, type: "Yes unless it is love? At you such lyubovy still you know how many will be!". Consider that at the child in 12-14 years the feeling of maximalism is aggravated, any drama is perceived as universal accident, and any sympathy - as love for the rest of life. Try to act unostentatiously: observe and interfere only when you feel threat to mentality and health of the child.
To become the friend to the child – try to get up on his place. Remember what teenager were you and tell about the behavior. Perhaps, it will help to approach. Try to avoid notations: "Here I at your age …". The phrase will be much more effective: "You know, I recognize in you myself. I too once …".
Encourage any hobbies of the teenager even if you do not divide and you do not understand them. The child wants to become a reference point, the metalworker or Ghat? Study these informal movements and try to find in them positive sides. The you will be better to understand what is interesting to the child – rather you will return the lost prestige.