The emotional or love dependence differs from narcotic addiction only in the fact that escape from reality is carried out not by chemical medicines, and by means of the relations with the same sozavisimy person. Today we will not begin to argue on the subject love or dependence or painful love. All this is already written and rewritten, but I pound from it is zero. We want to sort together with you essence of emotional dependence and, the main thing, - its reasons.
We are born dependent
All of us are born and are in dependence the first three years of life. It is normal process which provides full contact of the child and mother, their integrity and indivisibility. By three years there has to be our rebirth – psychological. It means that the person (still absolutely small, but already the person!) realizes the I, wants to be independent and free. If for some reason it did not occur, the emotional dependence in the relations with mother did not end, the person brings in himself this failure of the program to adulthood, and sozavisimy becomes not from mother, and from the sexual partners.
How to distinguish dependence?
Sometimes, it is very difficult to us to distinguish and share love and emotional dependence, in fact, the true love always means also a share of dependence, efforts to please the object of love. However the emotional dependence is not a part of the relations, but the gloomy cloud which tightly hid from us the sun lives. Try to find among the following signs of emotional dependence and the:
- you have no own feelings and thoughts, you live and you think another;
- you do not believe that are worthy love;
- you have sense of guilt when other people have problems;
- constantly you look for approvals of another;
- you consider that is more visible to others that it is necessary to you and as it is better for you;
- you eat, you drink, you have sex even when you do not feel from it pleasure;
- you cry to achieve the;
- constantly you prove that you are rather good that you were loved;
- you are afraid to be rejected;
- you blame yourself when affairs go badly;
- to run away from own thoughts, constantly you find to yourself some occupation;
- often you feel at the same time both love and hatred;
- you are afraid that you will be thrown;
- you consider that you cannot stand for yourself;
- you do not trust own decisions;
- you do not see in yourself force to change the life.
Actually, to realize that you are dependent - it is the first step to recovery. However how to struggle with emotional dependence only the true expert of psychiatry who on skin passed and experienced the personal emotional dependence can tell.