Often people face a problem that are not able to refuse, to tell firm "Is not present!". On the one hand, it is not a problem, if the person does not speak "No", then he subconsciously speaks "yes", i.e. deeply in subconsciousness he wants to make what to it was offered though itself and does not guess. But what to do if we to what are forced, and we do not want to do it at all, but to us to have not to offend. How it is correct to refuse?
Everything is much simpler, than it seems to us. The reason that we cannot refuse, is weak will, character and our pliability. We do not want to do something, but we agree, we are persuaded. The first that needs to be remembered in ability to refuse – should be had own "I", an accurate position, own opinion. Working on itself and on own opinion, on confidence and own position, we can always accurately tell the "no".
However often "no", we can offend the person, and to us to have to agree with him though it and is contrary to our views. But, believe, better to say accurate "no", than uncertain "yes". So what do you doSo what do you do not do much harm to either yourself, or other person.
When we refuse, we insist on the. And it is the best of all to speak directly "no", not to apologize, and to explain why we that as solved. Not to be humiliated, but to behave adequately. To tell quietly, surely "no", it is much better, than to tell "yes". Do not forget when we agree with the person, we undertake a duty to execute, what we were told. And if there is no desire to execute, then why at once not to refuse to us? Think over it at a leisure.
Of course, there is also other option, but it less effective also shows our weakness and uncertainty. Instead of that accurately to refuse, people often behave uncertainly, speaking slang language, "break": "well I do not know …", "I will think …", "can be, sometime …". And so on in the same spirit. But we forget what often it "sometime", means in our eyes "no", and eyes of other person – gives hope. Giving to the person hope, and then, destroying it, we arrive very disrespectfully to him, selfishly, often he already makes plans, and our refusal destroys everything. Therefore it is the best of all, you do not wriggle, and accurately tell "no".
Of course, it is possible to say no differently. The most effective way as it was already told to tell "no", it is opened also with an explanation. It will help accurately to let know to the person for what reason you refuse.
Less effective way is to tell "no" and to ask forgiveness. This way often we show that we regret for something that we bring the person. But to regret, in fact, there is nothing. We when we speak "no", we do not bring the person, and we only state own position. It is better so, than to promise something and not to execute.
The third way came to us from the East. Its essence in what we do not tell to the person concrete is not present, and beautifully and very tactfully we refuse, at the same time eulogizing the offer, but referring to its impracticability. It looks approximately the following method: "I, of course, understand your eagerness to invite me to the dacha, it flatters me, we gathered long ago. And the nature there beautiful, and it is possible to have a rest. But, unfortunately, I have other plans!". Such way at the same time is also tactful and polite, and not so strongly we offend the person and besides we tell the "no". Perhaps, one of the most effective ways.
It is correct to refuse is really hard business. But judge, it is better to refuse, than to do everything "through itself". Think, weigh priorities, and arrive as you consider correctly. It will be best of all. The best of luck!