Often grown up children are others, not such with what parents secretly dream to see them. And business here not in education errors. Most likely, at everyone the road, calling, happiness and delusions too the. How to lay it in the consciousness? If you thought of it, then you have enough resources to pass a way from denial before acceptance.
1. Think that your child already mature and independent personality, if is free to make any choice. Of course, children remain children, despite their age. But it is your internal work – to release them and to allow to become adults.
2. Think of as far as you are similar and as far as you different. Existence of similarity owing to your relationship will be natural. But will be much and distinctions: thoughts, requirements, motives differ at parents and children. And therefore even in identical situations you can make absolutely opposite decisions.
3. Understand also that life one – both at the child, and at you, and to you for the child will not be possible to live it. You with pleasure would make for him a right choice, saving from mistakes and disappointments, is a natural parental desire. But here it is appropriate only in case of full incapacity of your child. In other cases it is expedient to teach children to treat adequately problems, to make decisions and to be responsible for them.
4. Address own experience. Do you consider it valuable and unique? Now present that each person applies that his experience is exclusive. Your child sincerely believes that you could never be on his place, never endured what is endured by him even if you passed fire, water and all the rest. And even if it seems to you that you had the same case.
5. Try to look at the world with eyes of your child. It is difficult the same as to develop absolutely other planet, with other concepts, conditions, mentality. But try to consider all factors which were not in your youth and which are at the age of your children. Find out motives of the person making the choice. What is it guided also by what worries? In this situation you, most likely, would arrive in a different way, would be guided by other values and indicators.
6. Make audit to your values and beliefs. Often the dependence on public opinion, orientation to "correctness", your hypertrophied feelings of importance, vanity prevents to accept the choice of children. Sincerely answer a question what place of the relation with your child is taken in your system of values? And what is really important in life, considering that it is not infinite?
7. Also ask yourself the most important question: unless having made such choice, this person stopped being your child? Did you begin to love less it? All your joint past, his childhood and affection for you ceased to exist? Perhaps, you now too face the choice. What your choice will bring tranquility to you and harmony in family?