How to become the best mother for the adopted child

How to become the best mother for the adopted child

Often it happens so that small children are left without parents. The reasons can be different: the death of the father and mother, refusal of the child because of a disease or impossibility to support him. And for the rest of the life most of such children dreams to find family again, to feel parental heat and caress. Many married couples admit children to family, hoping that they will make friends with the child and will replace to him biological parents. Especially it concerns women who are capable to become attached so to the child, to fall in love with him that, apparently, the child becomes really native. But that it occurred, and he really saw in you the best mother, it is necessary to pass several obligatory stages.


1. Define motives of your decision to adopt the kid, your desire to bring up it, to look after him and to protect it is how big. It is not necessary to romaticize an adoption situation as it is shown in movies or videos, in practice you will face a set of difficulties and collecting documents and references. If you cannot have children for health reasons, adoption will become a good exit from such situation. Many meet children during the charity events or at first invite children for the weekend, and already then, having made the firm decision, admit to family. This option will allow you to know better character and abilities of the kid, to make friends with it.

2. Correctly estimate the material condition, more and more funds for maintenance and training of the child will be required every year. If in family there are own children, estimate whether there will be enough at you money for all, whether there will be enough funds for good nutrition and clothes for all family members.

3. Visit several orphanages to be sure of the choice of the kid, and, not only younger groups, but also seniors. Perhaps, you will be able to come into contact with the child is more senior. Very important at the time of adoption to feel that it is your little man, to feel invisible communication with it that also he saw in you the mother, stretched to you.

4. Try to learn as much as possible information on the kid from personnel of orphanage: the state of health, interests and hobbies, a psychological portrait whether it has brothers and sisters whom were the child's parents (especially in case of social orphanhood when parents are alive, but are deprived of the parental rights). It will allow to make the correct decision and in advance to be prepared for possible difficulties in communication.

5. Think whether you will be able and your family to give to the child necessary heat and care. Psychologists advise not to make excessive demands to the kid and not to wait from him for too much. Sometimes it happens that the children who did not meet expectations of adoptive parents, upset with something are returned back in shelters, without having understood the reasons of such behavior. It is the hardest psychological trauma for the child who, perhaps, needed more time for adaptation in family. Besides, if you already have children, explain to them how to behave with the new family member that even at the moments of disputes and quarrels they did not reproach the child that it not native, others, reception. Your kid will become isolated, will cease to communicate, will not trust you. Try to give equally the love and caress to all children, it is equivalent to distribute obligations for the house, to buy things and gifts, to praise it for progress and to support in everything. And then the child will tell once: "I have the best mother!".

Author: «MirrorInfo» Dream Team