When the guy with the girl decide to adjust joint life, relatives on both sides, first of all, their fathers and mothers also are involved in the sphere of their relationship. And not always here everything develops smoothly. Daughters-in-law often complain of mothers-in-law, and sons-in-law – of the mothers-in-law. But there are many wonderful examples when the senior and younger generation manages to reach compromise and to become related really.
Instruction
1. It is the simplest to adjust good relationship with the mother-in-law in case she seeks for them, understanding that her daughter and grandsons can be happy in that house where the world and mutual respect reigns. And if you make advances her in this desire, she will only be grateful to you, and you will be able always to count on its help and support.
2. Try to understand that the love for the daughter and desire to make her happy most often is the cornerstone of all actions of the mother-in-law. Imagine if it was your mother. How many she grumbled and whatever did, all of you equally understand that it yours, and you love it.
3. Be always ready to listen to her. Let know to the person that you are always ready to support him and to help. But at the same time, if you about it are not asked, you should not be imposed, except those cases if from you after all wait for the help, but hesitate to tell about it.
4. Try to be at the best and more often to do something pleasant for the mother-in-law. It can melt heart of any woman.
5. It is worse if your mother-in-law was incited against you prior to a wedding. It is the most difficult to fight against prejudices since negative feelings not always give in to logic. Nevertheless try to analyze that is not pleasant to it in you what of its expectations you did not meet. Perhaps, you really should change something in the character. Look at yourself critically from outside. It is useful to consult to the wife in this case. She for certain does not want in its territory fierce fighting to be conducted.
6. If the mother-in-law advises something to you probably she wants only good. Even if you do not agree with something, do not hurry to give a hostile reception to her words. Well consider the offer. Perhaps, she is right and once a piece of good advice follows. And if you agreed to differ, try to overpersuade her quietly. The reasonable, reasoned arguments have a greater effect. Besides, if you manage to show to the mother-in-law that you pay attention to her words and are respectful to her, you will notice change in your relations.
7. If you understood that it is impossible to overpersuade the mother-in-law, as well as you, do not hurry to be rude to her, just listen and do not try to start useless disputes. In certain cases, to calm the mother-in-law, it is possible to work through the wife. She will be able always to bring your point of view up to home mothers-in-law softer.
8. Be not irritated on trifles, try to keep quietly and deliberately if any words or actions of the mother-in-law to you sicken. Remember that to fall to the level of women's squabbles to the man not to the person.
9. If all your efforts directed to establishment of peaceful relationship with the mother-in-law suffer crash, and she tries to incite the daughter and children against you, talk to her about it directly. At the same time keep calm, but be firm and unshakable. Suggest it to keep prudence at least for the sake of the daughter and your children. Assure that you love the family and you will make everything that the wife and children were happy, but for this purpose there has to be a world.
10. Simply try to catch sight less to the mother-in-law if you see that meanwhile you cannot change her opinion on yourself. Take care of getting own housing where members of your family will only be owners. Perhaps, everything will place time and distance on the places, and you still estimate each other.