In childhood the foundation of our further relationship with society is laid. Both parents are necessary for healthy psychological development of the child, each of them plays the part in formation of the personality. But what to do to the woman if she is forced to bring up child(children) one?
At the woman the emotional intelligence is more developed, and the behavior differs in impulsiveness and sensitivity. Her requirement – to surround the child with attention and care, often excessively indulging him. At the man spatial thinking is more developed. He puts the framework limiting excessive permissiveness. The father introduces in family of the rule of conduct and norm. Joint efforts of parents provide full education of the child.
If the child is brought up in full family, then it positively influences psychosexual development of the child, gives it the chance to understand that there are differences between its children's relationship with mother and adults, between mother and the father. Otherwise, there is a problem of violation of gender identity – loss own "I".
In full family in which the authority of the father is not undermined the model where the child is a pupil works. He sees the relations between parents and projects them in adulthood. It influences its further relationship with an opposite sex.
Councils of psychologists
In terms of psychology, there are many ways of a solution:
- Not to forget about private life. Having remained one, the woman entirely tries to devote herself to the child, absolutely forgetting about the private life. Psychologists consider that such excessive guardianship not only weighs the child, but also is capable to cause deviations in mental health of the child. Further it results in infantilism.
- Not to be negative to men. Even if parting with the man was painful, you should not be negative to all representatives of an opposite sex. Especially negatively such behavior influences the girl, imparting her incorrect stereotypes and reference points.
- Not to be afraid to ask the help. Having remained one with the child, the woman assumes overall responsibility, trying to do without the third-party help. Such position can lead to nervous breakdowns and psychological burning out. Therefore you should not be afraid to ask for help of relatives and friends.
- To provide "men's communication". Children, regardless of a floor, need communication with the man, let it will be the uncle or the grandfather. Otherwise there can be psychological problems. The absence of the man in family can cause uncertainty in communication with an opposite sex in the girl in the future, or, on the contrary, the excessive need for male attention. The boy begins to identify himself with mother, adopting female lines that can result in homosexual bents.
- To get rid of sense of guilt. Loner mothers very often have sense of guilt for the fact that the child grows without father. Quite often, seeing this weakness of mother, children use it for manipulations.
- To find time for the child. That it had all the best, lonely mother directs all efforts to work. But you should not forget that full communication with mother which neither relatives, nor nurses are able to replace is very important for the child.
- To remove a negative to the father. Even if your parting was scandalous, it is not an occasion to speak of it negatively in the presence of the child. The causes of a divorce concern only adults, and all subtleties of the parental relations can negatively affect mentality of the teenager. When the child grows up, quietly everything can be told him without personal estimates – he will understand the attitude towards the father.
- Not to avoid full families. Lonely mothers often avoid meetings with full families, preferring to communicate with "friends" by misfortune. Consider that their child will feel uncomfortablly and awkwardly in such companies. But this wrong assumption. The communication wide range, the is more than opportunities to see various behavior models.
- Not to hurry to start a new family. Having left one man, the woman looks for the new father to the child, hoping that this time everything will turn out. Unfortunately, it not so. Not to make the same mistakes, the woman has to give herself time for determination of personal needs and desires. Criteria in the choice of the satellite will change, will become more strict, now she is responsible for wellbeing of the child. It will also be the beginning of new life.
To be lonely mother is not a sentence. It is a lot of work over itself, an opportunity to learn to combine the strong woman and the loving mother, at the same time remaining womanly and desired. It is heavy, but is quite feasible. It is worth remembering that only the self-sufficient and self-assured woman will be able to bring up the happy child.