When you begin to meet the new person even if he seems ideal, it is very important to keep in mind that everyone has a baggage of the past.
If not to do it, it is possible to feel unnecessary disappointment when realities become obvious. One of such options – when you learn that the man of your dream not only was married, but also that it has a child from first marriage. Regardless of circumstances of its divorce and the relations with the child, it is possible to use some receptions in communication to neutralize possible negative consequences.
- Do not hide from your man the arising doubts, including concerning whether you need to meet his child. If you have no children, and you are not going to become a mother, perhaps, you do not want to implicate his child in your relations, especially if you only began to meet. Regardless of your intentions, maintain openness in communication to provide mutual understanding.
- Try not to speak and even not to mention the former spouse of your man when you communicate with his child. Even if you are familiar with her personally, and not delighted with her, it is necessary to respect the fact that she is mother of this child. If to release the unpleasant comment on it at the child, it can spoil the relations between your man and his ex-spouse.
- You understand when your man cancels a meeting with you at the last minute to devote itself to cares of the child. Sometimes the relations with the man connected by obligations pass into the background in relation to these obligations.
- If you also have a child from the previous marriage, do not hurry to acquaint the children, confidence in durability of the relations will not appear yet. Children can make friends and if you leave this man, they will endure a gap even stronger, than you as you are adults. Until you marry this man, do not call his child the brother or the sister of the child.
- Reconcile with the fact that if the ex-spouse of your man has the right of guardianship over the child, and you with it get married, a part of your total income will be spent for payment of alimony. Besides, you can be involved in possible judicial proceedings. Though the divorce legally dissolves a marriage, the related conflicts can continue for many years.
- Find positive sides which are introduced by his paternity in your relations. If your man – the good father, most likely, it affects with what responsibility he treats even trifles. Besides you will understand that he more loving and gentle, than typical bachelors.