Joint life - not only the personal relations. Everyone has a work, a hobby, various ideas of leisure. Sometimes it seems that work ""eats"" all the time and forces. How to combine private life and work?
If we feel discomfort because work prevents private life or on the contrary - something means in private life at us not so. If work disturbs, in your opinion, to the partner to adjust full private life, it does not mean that it has a bad work and the reason in it.
Do you lack attention? It seems that the partner is a lot of time and forces devotes to work? Trying to obtain domination in his life, you encounter a wall of deaf irritation and misunderstanding? Look narrowly at own behavior, but not at its work. Perhaps, your relations need serious audit.
Pay attention to own appearance and internal filling. Sometimes happens so that we require attention to ourselves, at all forgetting about the appeal - both external, and internal.
Begin with a question: and what is received by my darling from the personal relations? Whether interesting I am an interlocutor? Whether heat suffices, participation, cares are received by my loved one?
If to the partner it is not cozy near you if he does not feel protected from house attacks, claims, and the life collapsing in the eyes is capable to enrage anyone - that nothing surprising that the person steeps in work """", no. Sometimes people thus just leave from the conflicts, hide in lots of working questions, while away the time over a desktop. In other words, all do longer not to return to an unpleasant situation.
On the other hand, do not give in to temptation to be late at work only to be pleasant to the administration or just by inertia and a habit ""to finish"". Think that it is more important for you: overtime work or good mood of darling? The human relations need time which is not enough, sometimes, because of a habit to give themselves full-time job. All the same not to earn all money, and no production progress will replace communication with close people. In such cases it is better to adhere to ""golden mean"", to remember these promises of the house and not to exaggerate value of working activity in own life.
In this situation joint private life risks to turn into mechanical existence of two singles under the same roof. It cannot last eternally, sooner or later the loneliness will be filled by someone. Situations in which work takes all vital time it is dangerous that ""on the horizon"" there can be other person who can offer your half love and care, understanding and the adjusted life, good rest and interesting communication. If you do not want that your partner divided the personal space with other person, begin with yourself, ask yourself a question: and whether time suffices and love you give to the loved one?
If work prevents you to bring order to the relations with the partner, and you wish to change a home atmosphere to the best, begin with yourself. Try not to exasperate the partner with complaints and reproaches, devote time to that it was pleasant to person whom you love to be at home. The atmosphere in the house has to be comfortable, desired. It concerns in total and purity in the apartment, and tasty cooked food, and lack of the irritants capable to break balance, and goodwill. Then your half will fly from work home, in full confidence that houses comfortably and well. But it does not mean that it is necessary to charge with all cares on the house itself. The partner has to be sure that without him you will not be able to solve many problems of the house. It increases feeling of necessity, responsibility.
Do not forget about leisure. You should not turn days off into infinite house efforts. Perhaps, a campaign on the nature, a visit to friends, visit of theater, a fashionable exhibition, walk on the city or a romantic dinner together - will bring a note of freshness, brightness, joy in your personal relations.
You speak with each other. You share impressions, communicate. Try not to transfer any topic of conversation to the personal relations. To people interestingly with each other when they together learn something new, discuss plans for the future, introduce the interesting ideas of the world around. You should not be obsessed with own feelings, it quickly becomes boring. To fill up all the time and attention only the personal relations, passions, rough showdowns and the requirement of exclusive attention - at least, unreasonably.
Besides work and the personal relations any person has to have time which he can devote himself: to think, reflect, bring order to thoughts and feelings, to play a favourite online game, to read the book, to keep silent, find internal balance, to stay at rest, to save up vital energy. If between work and the personal relations there is no such ""gap"", the person can break sooner or later, and the conflict will become inevitable.
Between the husband and the wife - except a bed and borsches - after all there has to be something else: general work, hobby, joint creation. It is good when private life and work - rolled into one. When people are united by the general activity. Then questions do not arise ""work or private life"" - private life develops into work, and work - into private life. The mistake of partners is in what some begin to demand to choose: either I - or work. To apply for special attention. And then both work, and private life falls...