Each of parents as a rule asks this question, but often, it occurs too late when demands to regain the trust considerable efforts and patience. Therefore it is the best of all not to make mistakes at early stages and to be guided by rules which will help you to establish the cordial and trusting relations and will become pledge for harmonious development and sincere health of your kid.
1) Be a friend for the child. It is necessary to let to the child know that you are always ready for communication. It is very important to kid to feel that the one who can always entrust the alarms is near and just to tell what interesting happened to him in a day. He will safely feel if he is sure that you always at the right time with due consideration will listen to him. Besides, do not forget to show also to the child the trust, to share secrets and to be interested in his opinion into any given account.
2) Respect feelings of the child. Whatever insignificant and unreasonable experiences seemed to you and the child's problems which he shares with you you should not laugh or belittle his feelings and fears. Take seriously all its difficulties and help to cope with them. The child will feel that he is understood and that subsequently he can count on your support and the help.
3) Joint pastime. Find the general occupations with the kid, ask to help him to you with cooking or cleaning, tell that without it you will not cope, let he will feel the need. To the contrary, show an initiative to assist it in its affairs. Whenever possible as often as possible play and walk together.
4) Keep the promises. Do not make to the child those promises which you will not be able to execute. Otherwise the kid will feel offense and disappointment, and similar systematic situations will undermine confidence and your authority on the child's eyes. Making a promise, it is better to stipulate some conditions, for example, in advance that your Sunday campaign to the park depends not only on you, but also on weather conditions.
5) And, at last, the main thing at establishment of trusting relationship with the child to be guided by one basic rule which is called – unconditional acceptance. It is unconditional to accept the child is to recognize all his advantages and also shortcomings, to love him not because he obedient or talented, and just for the fact that it is. How often, parents without thinking, use the following addresses to children: "If you are quiet, I will love you", "Do not approach me, you will not clean up the room yet", but through these phrases to the child directly is declared that he is accepted conditionally that it will be loved only if …
Besides some of our conditions can be excessive for the child and that then, farewell parental love? It is impossible in any way that the child felt unsteadiness of your love that he has to deserve somehow it that make it something wrong, you can deprive so of feeling necessary for it. By scientists it is proved long ago that the need for love is one of fundamental human wants, and its satisfaction – an indispensable condition for harmonious development of the child. This requirement finds satisfaction in gentle touches, approving views, tender addresses: "As it is good that you at us were born", "To me it is joyful when we together", "I love when you houses".
Perhaps, you will think: "How I with it will be tender if he did not learn lessons yet / did not receive an excellent mark / did not clean up the house?" I will dare to assume that most likely, your question is raised by belief: "At first discipline, and then kind relation". But here the paradox, such position does not lead to anything good, the more we abuse the child, the neupravlyaemy it becomes, and in response to critical statements, censures and reproaches, you receive predictable resistance, excuses and altercations. And all why? Because at first kind and trusting relationship, and discipline later, and only on the basis of them.