Recognize obvious — cleaning most often a routine for most of women, and here men from it evade in various ways. It seems that to force them put the apartment in order only the miracle can. But you should not wait for miracles from the universe if it is possible to create them independently.
Just ask
Often the simplest way – the most obvious. Most likely, by that moment when it comes to cleaning, you already are in "boiling point" - you were tired to remove its things, you are irritated by its inability to clean up, you are offended that he does not notice your efforts and so on. Cocktail from exhaustion and offense leads to the fact that you or shout to it about cleaning, or utter. It is no wonder that business comes to an end with scandal, and the cart of a household remains on the former place.
Choose time when both of you are quiet and positively ready, talk to the man, having explained that you feel. As psychologists advise, use "I - statements". That is you do not speak – "you do nothing on the house as it is possible to dissolve such dirt why I have to clean after you", and formulate so – "I very much am tired of housework, it would be easier for me if I was helped, it seems to me that household chores could be divided".
Stop cleaning after it
It is possible that the man considers that "everything is normal" just because he does not see a problem, all of you clean time after it. Why to be tidied up where it is clean? And that order to the house is brought not by so fairy godmothers he just does not think. Means came it is time to open for him eyes on rough reality – stop cleaning after him. Leave dirty socks on a floor, do not collect ware on the house, do not display its gadgets in places, allow the natural course of things to turn your apartment from a cozy nest into a barchelor den. Wait for puzzled questions and here then talk that cleaning – the general duty.
Make the list
It is surprising, but often adult men really just do not think of what volume of housework is carried out by the woman. Make the list, having broken it into daily, weekly and quarterly tasks. About everyone specify as far as it is labor-consuming. Choose time to discuss this list. Ask what part of these duties it can undertake. Do not refuse also other ways of the solution of tasks – if the husband suggests to buy the washing vacuum cleaner, but not to wash the floor a mop or to employ on clear-out personnel through firm.
Plan cleaning in advance
As for women cleaning – daily occupation, they do not need to remember about it. Men have everything not so. Can quite be that he is simply not ready to be engaged in establishing order, it has other plans and it is not so flexible just like that to reconstruct. Plan cleaning of the apartment in advance, discuss in what time it is necessary to pay attention to small household affairs and, perhaps, business will take a turn for the better. If the man knows that before going to bed he, for example, collects the ware left not on the place and includes the dishwasher, then there is no sense to remind him of it for all evening, causing irritation.
You thank and praise it
Take yourself for the rule to thank the man every time when he makes something on economy. Try to find what to tell good and on how it carried out a task. "Thank you that vacuumed. At you leaves on it much less time, than at me". The positive reinforcement, besides, perhaps is pleasant to all, and the man will begin to thank you for efforts, and also will notice how many you do.
You speak about specific objectives
Scientists proved that men can really not see dirt. It is more correct to tell so – because of extent of integration between cerebral hemispheres of the man are less susceptible to details than women. That is, if generally the room makes an impression removed, then such trifles as dust, things not on the places, stains on glasses, can be imperceptible for them. Speaking about cleaning, designate specific objectives, then it is possible to expect that he will solve them.
Give it the choice
Suggest it to choose that field of cleaning for which he will take the responsibility. Thus you will give to the man feeling of autonomy, the chance to feel the adult making decisions, but not the little boy from whom mother demands to clean up the room.
Conclude with it the bargain
Nobody is ideal. Quite possibly your man also has wishes which concern that you could do or not do. For example, once a month it would like to spend time in the men's company in bar, and you against. Agree that you without reproaches lower it "to gambol" if he undertakes the following obligations for the house. Or that you are ready to prepare some difficult, but loved by it dish of times a week if he cleans up all week all things in places.