The lonely woman with the child can quite meet the man ready to accept not only her, but also the "ready" son or the daughter. Though at joint life sometimes it turns out that everything is not so smooth between the stepfather and the adoptive child. To force the man to fall in love not with the child it will hardly be possible, a pressure here not the assistant. But the maternal wisdom will help to find the correct approach to this delicate situation.
Instruction
1. Mother needs to understand that the egoism is peculiar to most of men much more, than to women. Therefore in joint life it is necessary to construct such conditions that the man did not feel the deprived attention.
2. Remember that if at you with the man really warm and partnership, i.e. nobody tries to suppress and force something to do anybody, chances of that, as with the child the relations at the stepfather will be improved, are very high. Therefore look from outside at the family life and if it is necessary, introduce amendments in the behavior.
3. Do not try to force events, give to the man and the child time to learn and understand each other and promote it. The best way – joint pleasant pastime and search of common interests.
4. Consider that if the man himself openly started talking to you that he cannot fall in love with your child or has feeling of hostility to it, then it is the good sign. As direct talk is a sign of trust and desire something to change.
5. If the man hesitates to start talking about it, then bring up a question. The main thing is to make it in very tactful form, not to accuse anybody at all, and to try to understand the partner. Perhaps, there will already be enough one such conversation that the situation began to improve.
6. If there was an insignificant conflict, try to smooth it, without accepting at the same time obviously somebody's part.
7. Talk to the child to understand his point of view and fears. Show to both parties that you understand them and do not demand impossible at present.
8. Perhaps, the open conversation three together will help, but to understand as far as it is appropriate, it is possible only frankly having communicated to everyone confidentially.
9. If the child still absolutely small also irritates the man with the whims, shouts, etc., it is the then very important most to keep calm. The is more balanced and you will be more friendly, the both the kid, and your partner will be quieter.
10. Be fair both to the man, and to the child. Be not sorry the child is constant, it will worsen a situation rather.
11. If the situation is too heated, the man constantly clashes and does not try to take any steps towards, then it is worth thinking – whether he loves you and whether you need to live together. If the atmosphere in family is constantly strained, then hardly someone in it will be happy.