How to forget the former man?"

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Unfortunately, in the relations there are partings.

It is important to find at the same time forces quickly to be restored after leaving of darling, to normalize itself and to learn to derive anew pleasure from each lived day.

In article advice of psychologists which will help to forget the former partner are given and to put "the fat end" to the relations.

How to forget being and to begin new life?

It is difficult to reconcile to loss of darling. The first reaction of the woman in this situation — offense. The similar emotion natural, however, does not solve a problem. Psychologists advise to pay attention to the second reaction of an organism — to judgment of the main reasons of parting.

Why the man threw: frequent reasons

Realistic assessment of the reasons of leaving of the husband gives the chance to the spouse to adjust private life further.

More often men throw partners for the following reasons:

Loss of interest. Over the years joint life the woman, feeling a certain stability in the relations, begins to lose itself former — ceases to look after himself, grumbles at the slightest pretext, is not interested in anything, except female series and a TV show. Near himself the man wishes to see beautiful, sexy, moderately well-read and clever woman with whom just it is equally pleasant to sit in kitchen or to go to expensive restaurant. Certainly, nobody says that the girl always has to be in "full combat readiness", often there are unlucky days, but it is impossible to forget about themselves. Women are recommended to draw regularly mentally a parallel meanwhile what it was at the first meeting what became today. Men will quietly endure emergence of wrinkles on the face of the wife, but not her total apathy to it, to life, to themselves.
Discrepancy of the purposes. Banal "did not get on together", unfortunately, it becomes frequent the break in relations reason. And if at the initial stages the rough love, passion, sex distracted couple from some misunderstanding, then in the course of joint life when passions ceased a little, small trifles develop into constant scandals, reproaches, quarrels. At the same time, the difference of interests and the purposes can be shown in everything: one saves — another spends too much, one wants to have children — another is not present. If at the initial stage not to speak and not to find out the main vital tasks of partners, then, most likely, couple is expected by crash in the relations.
If between couple practically there is always a negative, and there is no good note, the similar relations become a burden. Neurotics seldom occur among representatives of a male part, and it means that at regular scandals, reproaches, claims, the man will escape.
Attempts to change the partner. Widespread female mistake. Kind of delicately the woman did not act, the man will feel how manipulate it, try "to stick together" from it an ideal which it cannot and does not wish to be. Feeling restrictions of freedom and space, the partner tries to find them on the party where it is perceived such what it is, with shortcomings and advantages.
Dissatisfaction in sexual life. One of important "whales" on whom the strong relations are under construction is the sex allowing to keep harmony and balance. If needs of one of partners are regularly not satisfied, the balance falls, in family quarrels, scandals, mutual reproaches begin. Changes of sexual requirements, certainly, happen over family life, but it is important that the husband and the wife mutually worked on the arisen problem. If the man tests sexual dissatisfaction and to see unavailability of the woman to change a situation to the best, then, most likely, he will leave to look for missing emotions in other place.

Whether you know? First place in the world on number of official stains is won by Belgium where about 70% of the registered couples get divorced. The second place is divided by Spain, Portugal, the Czech Republic and Hungary with an indicator in 60%. The lowest indicator of stains is recorded in Chile — only 3%.

One more of the reasons of leaving of the man is treason of the woman. In this case, the reason of treason is not of great importance, such treachery the beloved will hardly be able to forgive. And if forgives, then to return to former, happy life, it will be already impossible.

What prevents to forget the ex-boyfriend?

Unfortunately, there are women who for months, cannot get years off a mind of the former beloved. Daily scrolling a situation, they torment themselves with doubts that all could be differently if not... And the list such "not" every day becomes longer. What prevents to forget the person whom still you love:

Strong feelings. Of course, hearts of darling prevent to dismiss also strong feelings to it, at the same time, the relations lasted longer, the more difficult it is necessary the girl. She lives on reminiscence about the ex-boyfriend, amuses herself with thoughts that, perhaps, feelings reciprocal, and after a while he will return.
One of the greatest female fears is the fear of loneliness. After separation many worry that they will not be able to construct more the new relations, family therefore they mentally again and again come back to the thrown husband, do not know how to release it.
Regular communication. Need of constant meetings because of presence of the general children, does not allow the spouse to delete the husband from the life. Also the general work, joint business can be an obstacle for calm of feelings.
It becomes frequent the woman dependent on the partner, does not feel confidence and the integrity without him, understands that she depends on his opinion, finance. In such cases the gap becomes the present tragedy at which the further meaning of life is lost. As a rule, the similar situation arises because of female uncertainty and a low self-assessment.
Feeling of property. To a large extent it is inherent in men, however, in certain cases girls are also capable to show egoism. Thoughts that the person who was madly loved will belong another torment and do not allow to begin new life.

It will be interesting to you to esteem in what ways it is possible to return the beloved.

Ways to forget the man

Parting with darling — the painful, crisis and critical period in life. That, as soon as possible to forget the partner and not to remember him, psychologists advise to use several simple, but effective methods.

To fill up time

After parting the woman tests apathy, unwillingness somewhere to go, to be engaged in something. One of effective methods of fight against a depression is the full employment. The girl has to reconstruct the daily schedule so that there was no free minute to think of former. It is recommended to devote himself to work, sport, walks with friends, dinners with parents, to paint the schedule so densely that there was enough time only for a dream.

Important! The problem of a method is to switch as much as possible thoughts of the person to other subjects for reflections and the analysis.

To be in the present

One of the main mistakes made by women — constant thoughts of antecedents, memories of darling. Strangely enough, but it is also the first phase of fight against a grief when the woman completely plunges into the past, remembers all joyful and sad moments of life with the husband. This phase allows to receive an emotional discharge therefore experts advise to endure it to all girls fully. However, long it is impossible to be late in such state, otherwise process of treatment can be dragged out for long months. The simplest, than can help itself the woman — to leave the past in the past, to live here and now. To cease to look in the past, it is necessary to focus thoughts on what occurs at present, to focus on surrounding factors. Over time similar reception of concentration will allow to cut unnecessary, negative thoughts and to be adjusted intuitively on life in real time.

Important! At first the brain will refuse to be focused on the present, and will continue "to send" to the past, to experiences and sufferings. The main thing not to pay attention to it and not to stop.

New acquaintances

Process of adaptation after separation will take place quicker and easier if to meet new people, to communicate more. Certainly, new people cannot appear suddenly, for this purpose the girl should make a few efforts. Appearance of new people in life can be promoted by other work, fitness classes or dances, campaigns on concerts and exhibitions, study on various courses and trainings, group tourist tours. Opportunities for acquaintances are not limited, the main thing to use them.

To fall in love with itself

After a gap it is a high time energy which was directed to the beloved, to redirect on itself darling. In terms of psychology, separation is not the termination of one of vital stages, but the beginning new.

Therefore, the start of new life should be devoted to itself, self-development, improvement of a body. There is a wish to call darling? Instead experts advise to go to the gym, to visit an exhibition, to register in the new cosmetic procedure. Certainly, in the first weeks of parting it will be difficult to be made, however, through "I cannot", it is necessary to reconstruct life, to leave "a zone of sufferings", to look at a situation in a new way.

The sport, new hobby, travel, books will help not only to forget about the ex-husband, but also will be able to raise the woman's self-assessment, will give it the chance to reconsider the vital purposes, to make what there was not enough time earlier for.

Whether you know? There is a psychological reception how to lighten itself the mood: to raise the head up, to part hands in the parties and to smile, be late most broadly in such pose for a minute. Similar position of a body forces a human body to produce serotonin — happiness hormone.

Life is a work

Human life — an embodiment of his thoughts for this reason, it is necessary not to complain about sorrows and misfortunes and to change a mentality, to work daily on thoughts and intentions. Life as well as work, has to make benefit and profit. And profit for the person — positively painted thoughts of any pleasant things, whether it be health, success, work, a hobby, new love. Psychologists advise to cease to yield negative thoughts "loss", to learn to be focused on a positive, to fall in love with themselves. At first the brain will resist, to think of a negative far more simply, than to be adjusted on inspiration and a positive. However, gradually what injured and wounded will be replaced with joy, development and emotional enrichment.

How to forget the father of the child?

It is much more difficult to forget the former beloved if there is a child. Unfortunately, the divorce has negative impact not only on both partners, but also on children. And the main task of parents is to help them most without serious consequences to endure separation.

Important! In a situation of a divorce it is necessary to show to children that for them nothing changed, they are equally loved by both parents even if those, live separately.

In similar situations the psychologists advise to arrive as follows:

Not to lie. Even if the small child, mother does not need to invent various stories about the father the seaman or the astronaut who is in constant departures. Children at the level of an intuition feel deception, and suffer from it even more and more sharply.
No to the bans. If the former spouse does not constitute danger to mother and the child, not the alcoholic and not the drug addict, wishes to see the child, you should not forbid him it. The relations of the husband and the wife — another story which should not influence the relations of the father and child and the bans will not be able to reduce female pain from parting.
Reasonable explanations. If the child wants to learn about where his father, asks inconvenient questions, it is necessary to explain a situation, to answer all interesting questions, certainly, without pressing in specifics and unpleasant details.
No to insults. Anger, rage, offense, perhaps, even hatred — those feelings which overflow the wife after the divorce. Sometimes all the negative to the ex-husband wants to be splashed out in the presence of children. However, experts advise to refrain from the words offending and humiliating the husband told at the daughter or the son.

If not to listen to these councils, then children will grow up with a big inferiority complex, feeling of a nedolyublennost.

Councils of psychologists

Darling left family, having told that he does not love any more. Psychologists recommend not to despair and to take several simple advice which will help to cope with process of "restoration" quicker:

To avoid contacts with former. First of all, it is necessary "to remove" everything that reminds of the beloved from the life: to remove its things, to remove from social networks, to avoid meetings. Any contacts with the partner revive old emotions and do not allow to release the past finally.
To be uttered and have a good cry. Psychologists do not advise to cork the grief in themselves and as much as possible to splash out it outside. Someone will be helped by a sincere conversation with the girlfriend, to someone — to lay out a negative in the letter, and to someone — tears. Anyway, it will allow to get rid of the overflowing feelings of offense, despair, bitterness. But it is not necessary to tighten the period of "sufferings" for a long time, it is better to give itself concrete time for relaxation, for example, week to have a good cry and dump emotional cargo.
To refrain from visit of places of joint rest. Until passions cease, it is better for girl to avoid those places where she spent time with the former darling. Psychologists advise to make the list of such places and some time to avoid them.
Fall in love with yourself. The main thing that the woman can make after separation — to fall in love with itself. Daily it is necessary to praise himself for the slightest achievements, to emphasize the uniqueness and identity. Negative thoughts are one of manifestations of dislike for themselves. However, if to start the return process, to fall in love with itself, thinking is obligatory to change on a positive that will promote attraction in life of joy and happiness.