When you lose darling, there is no wish to live. However, as statistics shows, people exclusively seldom die of one-way love, and it means that life after parting proceeds. Perhaps, the advice which is picked up below will help the thrown man quicker to endure pain of parting and to release the woman who decided to leave.
What happens to the person after parting?
Break with darlings — a serious emotional stress which can lead to real disorders of health.
Among the dangerous symptoms which are often arising with the people who lost love call:
- Depression of the nervous system which is not receiving good rest quite often leads not only to decrease in brain activity, but also to dangerous mental diseases.
- Violation of work of heart. Emotional experiences are followed by powerful emission of adrenaline which can cause arrhythmia, bradycardia, and in certain cases — even a heart attack or coronary thrombosis.
- Neuromuscular frustration. The same adrenaline at long influence an organism provokes decrease in blood of concentration of ions of potassium. This state is fraught with feeling of weakness in legs, muscular pains, increase in probability of injuries, paralysis.
- Problems with skin. Psoriasis, deprive of Zhiber, atopic dermatitis — the incomplete list of serious skin diseases which arise against the background of oppressed and dejectedness. Experiences from loss of darling can lead to premature baldness.
- Digestion violation. Diarrhea "because of nerves" — a state widespread. However the few know that strong sincere experiences are capable to provoke the return state, and, sometimes it is not just about a lock, and about the impassability of intestines demanding surgery. And as consequences of nervous experiences and it is not necessary to speak about ulcers and gastritis.
- Excess weight and other metabolic violations. Pain from loss of darling often leads to a state when "the piece does not climb in a throat". But happens and vice versa. The appetite during the difficult emotional period does not decrease, and becomes just uncontrollable. Besides, adrenaline has notable impact on exchange processes in an organism, in particular, increases glucose level in blood. Thus, after a heavy love break-up of people can "get" diabetes.
Whether you know? WHO claims: today every twentieth person in the world suffers from a depression, and this number grows. A trend such is that in two years the disease will rank third among causes of death after coronary heart disease and a stroke.
Certainly, the listed above problems not necessarily arise at each guy who was thrown by the girl. However if not to get it together and to allow a depression to capture itself, the probability of such consequences increases. And as health is given us once, it is necessary to make everything that it did not happen.
How to forget the girlfriend when threw or left to another?
The first that needs to be made in such unpleasant situation — to accept it as the come true fact. Rather you realize that It will not return, the sincere wound will drag on quicker. Besides, it is necessary to try not to look for guilty of what happened — itself, it, the man with whom she fell in love her mother. It is less than analysis (leave search of the reasons for quieter time), people have the right to choose to themselves partners and to change them if feelings weakened or the choice was unsuccessful. Moreover, having left, It arrived honestly, estimate it and be exempted from rage and offense! Pain, of course, from it will not leave. But, having realized that loss is irreversible, it is possible to be engaged in assessment of "damage" and to try to minimize losses.
Important! The woman is not obliged to love you all life, however, as well as you are it. A formula "we are responsible for those who were tamed", in the love relations does not work.
To get rid of all things which remind of it
To fall to extremes and to work by the principle "I cancel everything that told you, and I will break everything that presented to you", does not follow the man respecting himself. But things, objects, places and events which cause direct association from being are the factors which are very strongly operating on mentality therefore any contact with them needs to be excluded. At the same time it is important to understand that not only concrete material objects can conceal danger (for example, the hairbrush, a blouse or house-shoes which remained in the house after its leaving), but also, apparently, absolutely neutral things to which your sense organs — tastes, smells react.
Whether you know? There is a trick to which the women wishing to force the man to grieve about themselves resort. Always using the same spirits, the lady secretly sprays them on a pillow in the house of the man then, going to bed and relaxing, he subconsciously remembers it, taking this state for love.
So that quickly to forget the girl, it is necessary not only to get rid of her personal belongings, but also to take additional security measures, abstaining from everything that can stir up memoirs, including:
- to make careful clear-out in the house (at the same time will help to distract);
- to interrupt contacts with mutual friends for some time;
- to refrain from watching movies and transfers, listenings of music which you watched earlier (listened) together;
- if necessary, to make corrections to a daily routine and a diet (for example, instead of morning jog after which she met you with a cup of coffee do house exercises; instead of fried eggs which you roasted it to strike with the culinary abilities, pass temporarily to sandwiches).
To stop all contacts
There is the known popular wisdom: out of sight, out of mind. Even if you love "excessively" even if it seems that it forever, total disappearance of the woman from your life, after all, will force a brain to reconcile to loss and even whatever improbable it seemed to you today, to meet new love. One condition: cessation of contacts has to be complete, sharp and comprehensive. Do not deceive yourself, asking on It at mutual friends or looking on its page on social networks. If you have its photo, get rid of them or at least remove far away (better to transfer to storage to the good friend and to ask not to give until he is not convinced that you "recovered").
Important! To try to disaccustom itself to love gradually, reducing the frequency of meetings — it is all the same that, trying to inflict on a dog less suffering to cut off it a tail in parts, in stages.
Travel
One of the most effective ways to appease mental anguish — change of a situation. The fascinating travel is suitable for these purposes.
The result is provided at the expense of such factors:
- reminds nothing of It;
- the brain is filled by the new impressions which are forcing out sad thoughts;
- after the saturated and overflowed with events day the sleep is sound that is important, in the period of a depression the heaviest is sleepless nights.
It was simpler to distract, it is better to choose travel active and if the physical shape allows, even dangerous, in good sense saturated with adrenaline.
So, instead of going to the Turkish coast to hotel with an all inclusive system where the whole day it is only possible to lie on the beach or to sit in bar, it is worth being chosen with friends in a difficult campaign, to rise to mountains, to go down on the mountain small river or to make some other feat.
Additional bonus — increase in a self-assessment and acquisition of confidence in own forces that for the thrown man most by the way!
Important! It is not necessary to try to appease mental anguish by means of alcoholic drinks. The brain poisoned with alcohol is left by all insignificant thoughts and emotions, and the person remains in private with the biggest problem which torments him.
Communication with friends
Friends can help to endure the first, most difficult period of parting, however this rule works better in case these your friends, but not the general.
One more rule: subjects of a talk have to be neutral, and a way of pastime — sustained and counterbalanced. To expect from friends of sympathy (like, I cannot without it, at the nights I do not sleep, I suffer...) it is as wrong how to water the girl whom left, with dirt, accusing of all mortal sins and counting on support. The trouble which happened at the friend or close can be much more effective way to recover from sincere sufferings, than joint impetuous fun. Not without reason say: the best way to help itself is to help someone to another therefore if it is necessary to forget quickly the girl, think which of the immediate environment needs the help or support now, and do "charity work".
New hobby
To a formula "the wedge is knocked out a wedge" it is necessary to belong with care. If feelings were really strong, the attempt to find replacement to darling can give boomerang effect: innocent and nothing not suspecting Novaya Gazeta the partner will be subconsciously compared to previous, and this comparison will be not in favor of the first. It, in turn, will only strengthen loss pain — such as It, is more not.
Whether you know? Brian Boutwell, the doctor of psychology from the USA, claims that the love and drug addiction are caused by activation of the same site of a brain, and, therefore, the break with darling in feelings is similar to the withdrawal pains arising at the addict after the drug taking termination.
From here advice to friends of the thrown man: do not hurry "to save" it, acquainting with girlfriends of the girls or wives, give it time to recover from loss! Of course, from communication and new acquaintances the thrown man does not need to hide, but to hurry to develop them, transferring to something more serious, not time yet.
Perhaps, this girl who met today is also your destiny, but now you are not able to understand it, and, so can miss that chance which is granted with leaving your former.
To do favorite thing or to go completely to work
The similar way of a solution has the same "therapeutic" action, as travel, but works nevertheless less effectively. Mainly because habitual occupations and work, kind of strongly you did not try to be given them completely, are a part of former everyday life where there was It earlier.
Important! Enduring separation, the main thing is not to lie on a sofa, having stared in a ceiling and reveling in a grief. Any occupation in this case is better, than inaction.
If work difficult also demands full concentration, during the day, really, it is possible to distract and forget about mental anguish, but in the evening it will surely return, and till the morning will not uncouple the feelers. Besides, there are days off when from melancholy in general there is no place to hide.
However, if the holiday allowing to change cardinally scenery at work cannot be taken — to try to concentrate on performance of the duties unambiguously costs. Who knows, perhaps, this "the forced workaholism" will allow to make important discovery, to climb an office ladder, to gain recognition, to achieve success — a word, to change for the better and to force it to regret about the decision.
Councils how to return the girlfriend
The conversation about a technique of behavior of the guy in a situation when it was thrown by the girl, was begun with the fact that the fact of leaving should be admitted come true. But girls are beings impulsive and, it is possible while you try to forget it, she already regretted about the act and puzzles over that, kind of to improve the relations, having saved at the same time face.
Whether you know? The American scientists (Saint Louis University, the State of Missouri), having conducted a magnetic and resonant research of a brain of group of volunteers from among the thrown lovers, established that in it the special protective mechanism allowing to forget the lost partner and to be reoriented on search of new is put.
Or what is probable too, its leaving was only a trick, desire to force you to understand how strongly you love it. Whether it is worth continuing the relations with so unbalanced and whimsical person — a single question, but if the firmness of its intentions to leave wants to be checked, it is possible to try to make it.
There is several practical advice which can help to return darling (under a condition, certainly, that she is subconsciously ready to return, but you do not learn it, will not try yet):
- Do not jump off the deep end. Calm down and let's calm down it. Having closed behind it a door, do not make any decisions. Just wait couple of days. Perhaps, by the way, it will appear enough, and the girl will return.
- Analyze (on the cold head!) reasons of its leaving. Try to admit to yourself honestly that pushed her to such step — concrete claims to you or lack of feelings. If recently your meetings came to an end with quarrels in different occasions if you do not remember any more when to you really it was good together, most likely, it is worth refusing further attempts to save love.
- Having formulated the gap reason, well think whether you are ready to concede — to change the life, the habits, attachments according to desires of your darling. If is not present, stop trying to return it, give it the chance most to answer the same question (whether it is ready to accept you such as is) and, maybe, to change the decision.
- Only having realized that this woman is worth of fight and the victims, begin to act. Do not delay with decision-making, you remember: if in the first days after parting time works for you, soon the situation completely will exchange.
- Try to improve with It the relations, but act carefully. Instead of low begging darling to return and it is oath to promise that now "everything will be in a different way", begin from the very beginning. Become her another, show that you make and you respect its decision though still you love it. Accustom her to yourself in the new status, force to believe that you do not apply for her love.
- Make for it something that she always wanted (not necessarily material, let it will be a small miracle, a holiday, a pleasant surprise). It is very important that the girl estimated: you are attentive to her, you remember that she loves. Do not try to buy her and do not wait for immediate "payment". Show unselfishness, and be sincerely.
- At each opportunity try to show it that you refused those habits or actions which became the reason of your gap, but do it casually as if this your own decision, but not attempt to trap her.
- Having brought the relations to new level, you do not force an event. There are no guarantees that the woman will return. On the other hand, perhaps, friendship with it will seem to you even more attractive, than former romantic communication, and beaten "to remain friends" is that it is actually necessary for both of you!
It will be interesting to you to learn how to win the girl's heart.
It is kind of banal sounded, to help cope with loss pain, in fact, only time can. But there are several ways which will make the first days and weeks after parting less heavy, having allowed main "doctor" to perform the work a little quicker.