In many respects depends on wise behavior of the wife as there will be relations with the mother-in-law - whether there will be it war, a quiet neutrality or mutually advantageous partnership.
Our advice will help you to nalayodit with svekroyovyyu the kind relations on joy to the husband and on envy to girlfriends.
Be not let in revelations
Communicating with the mother-in-law, you remember: all that you skayozht, can be ispolyyozovano subsequently proyotiv you. Mothers-in-law, even the most benevolent, it is not necessary to know whom you met to her son, what problems at you at work, etc. In stories about the family there is enough message about those sobytiyoyakh which already proizoshyol and in which participation of the mother-in-law does not potreyobutsya any more.
How to consolidate achievements? You learn to say less: to listen more. Inteyoresuytes its uvlecheniyoyam, ask questions and listen to answers. If the mother-in-law tells more about herself (and all this is loved), she will not have time for ferreting out of your secrets.
Give the chance to prove
Not to provoke the mother-in-law to nesankyotsionirovanny intervention in affairs of your family, it is better to provide it the front of influence, comfortable for you, and use of its energy: to walk with children, to organize for them summer holiday, to supply you with products from the ogoyorod, to communicate with teachers and tutors, etc.
How to consolidate achievements? Do not forget to thank the mother-in-law for any her action: for councils, the help and even for a kriyotika. Telling simple "thanks", you postepenyono improve your relations.
Do not agree to live under the same roof
Never agree to live together with the mother-in-law. Yes, it will cost to you additional expenses, but nerves will be more intact. Especially this council is relevant for those daughters-in-law who have a character of the leader: it is heavy to them to play the second violin and to submit to the rules adopted in foreign family. If to live separately, then reasons for quarrels because of everyday issues just will not be.
How to consolidate achievements? If there is no opportunity to part, agree with the mother-in-law that in places of public use you play by her rules, but in the room allocated to you with the husband you do everything as you find necessary, this your personal space.
Not sostyayozaytes for a rank of the best hostess
Often the mother-in-law unfairly carps at the daughter-in-law as she moves her jealousy and feeling of a soperniyochestvo for attention of the son and for priyoznany authoritativenesses of her opinion. Do not join with the mother-in-law the game "I Am Very Best!", be more cunning! Simple recognition: "Never to become me such beautiful hostess as you!" will disarm the most strict mother-in-law, will melt ice and will allow to avoid cavils and quarrels.
How to consolidate achievements? Take for the rule to ask its council of times in couple of days (vypolyonyat - at will) and to take recipes of favourite dishes of the husband (to prepare - at will). Your attention and respect for experience of the mother-in-law will lull her a bditelyyonost, and the quantity of cavils umenyyoshitsya.
Agree with the husband about division of attention
Mother demands from the son at most a vniyomaniye therefore he vanishes at it in the days and at the nights, ignoring sobstvenyony family? Think what moves it. Perhaps it lacks mamiyony pies and quiet domestic surroundings? For you it is an occasion to obeyospechit to the husband lacking vnimayony, including loved yum-yum.
How to consolidate achievements? If the husband is torn to help mother - it is good. Just agree with him "ashore": let spends at it some days off a month, and ostalyyony will devote to you, children and soyovmestny rest with friends. Emphasize: "mother's" vyyokhodny is sacred, postayorightes not to apply for them!