It is an eternal problem of the relations of parents and children. How to get rid of it?
1. If all of you still are in the parent's position, then it is already time to replace it. It is necessary to communicate with the adult child as equals. As adult with the adult. You still try to dominate, and your children have already children, and at someone even grandsons. Unless it is possible to consider at such state of affairs the children dependent? Of course, in this situation it is quite difficult to come to mutual understanding. After all try to communicate as equals.
2. Respect decisions of the children. Whatever they were - it is only their decisions. They will choose that it is necessary for them. Do not try to impose the point of view, you can only advise now. Example: You so tried to employ the son, and he, suddenly decided to leave this place. To you it, naturally, not to liking. But, if you respect the child, you will tell: "I believe in you and I hope that at new work it will be better for you".
3. Of course, each parent tries to protect the child from failures. It is natural. But it is not necessary to confuse experience of children with the experience. If you were comprehended by disappointment, then it does not mean, as your child will be overtaken by a trouble in the same field. Allow the children to acquire the experience by trial and error.
4. Be not an egoist. It very much disturbs in creation of good relations. Try to become to the place of yours the son or the daughter, it will help to get rid of egoism. It is necessary to consider the interests of children, and not just to think of itself. Perhaps, answer to a question: "What problems my child has?" will help to understand him.
5. Remember the childhood of your child. Perhaps, he needed something? Received less something? Whether it is possible to give it it now?
6. Stop to advise without need. When you give uninvited advice, you kind of emphasize the superiority. Advising, you do not allow the child to be responsible. If the person lives on a pointer, he involuntarily becomes irresponsible.
7. Direct energy to own life. Same it is so fine when children already adult, and you are still full of strength. Time you want to interfere with others life, let it even life of your children, means you gave the up as a bad job. And it is very sad. Maybe it is worth trying everything to change?
8. Your children have a mass of advantages. Remember them at those moments when you want to take offense.
9. Under no circumstances, under any pretext do not raise the voice on adult children. You do not shout at the colleagues.