Each of us marries sooner or later and swears love and fidelity. But very few people think that the love is not necessarily passion and feelings when there is a wish to be dissolved in the partner entirely and without the rest. Lyubov is different, she lives life together with couple, is transformed and flows on new level. A task of each of spouses it is worthy to go through all stages of this transformation. What, unfortunately, turns out infrequently. Statistics of stains bright to that confirmation. How to save marriage from a divorce? We will also mention today this hot topic.
The family – as it to keep?
Even the clear sky is tightened sometime by clouds. And the relations cannot be ideal. Creation of family it not only happiness of cohabitation in the mountain and joy, but also huge work. Over time the romanticism of the relations begins to fade under oppression of life, the women who decided that now it will not get to anywhere cease to look after themselves, and then the child who for lovely ladies becomes the center of the Universe is born at all. And it is absolutely strange as after all events of the woman ask a question how to keep family if the husband changes? A counter question – as you reached what it began to change? The song that all of them are identical here not and. Men do not leave from there where to them it is good. So it is necessary to look for the reason in the family relations. Whether a question it is worth keeping marriage if feelings go downhill down, is not even necessary. Unambiguously – costs! To work for this purpose important not constantly on the relations, to build them, to smooth acute angles, etc. First of all, it is necessary to learn not to make the most widespread mistakes:
- Do you remember how everything began?. Ask yourself this question from the well-known song. Remember how your relations developed: flirtation, mutual views, the first appointment, wedding, happiness, peace and harmony. You and then had problems. But you safely stepped through them, and went further, holding hands. You know how to save marriage! Just continue to fight together for the happiness despite everything.
- Leave mutual reproaches and quarrels at strangers. Even if it seems to you that your public insults will shame the spouse, you are mistaken. Except rage and alienation you will achieve nothing.
- If you thought how to save marriage, refuse claims to the partner. All of you are men …, You is eternal …, You never … and similar reproaches are strictly forbidden. Condemn an act, but not the person. It would be very pleasant to me if you …, Make a good deed …, etc. Agree, sounds a little differently?
- One more important rule how to save family from a divorce – do not lift dirt from a bottom and do not remember last offenses. When that you already forgave them, forgot and took into consideration. Constantly return to the past conducts the relations to the deadlock, but not in bright future.
- Each person has advantages. Even if the husband became the in a board do not forget about the appearance and you give him the beauty. That man who admires strangers in the presence of the wife is too silly. On the other hand do not mock at its business qualities and male solvency at all. Even if spouses as the man so-so, let it know that you believe in him. And then he will pull up trees.
- Remember that any thought is material. Even if affairs are absolutely bad, but you still hold the relations, the best way of that how to keep marriage from a divorce – never to mention the word divorce. Here affected scenes of leaving mother and return home concern after a while. Understand – at best the man will get used to it and will cease to react. In the worst – at a word and other threats he can report a divorce once: And it is valid - it is an exit, let's divorce.
- Do not try to manipulate by means of tears, hysterics and pressure. You will NEVER change the spouse. You learn to respect its and interests, hobbies and a circle of contacts. The family is the union. And union of two DIFFERENT people.
- Once and for all destroy in the consciousness of several myths fixed there:
- He has to love me in any situation. Even if I harmful and opposite – anything similar. You will be malicious – will leave to quieter and gentle.
- Life it that's nothing unusual, the main thing – the relations. – and that just these relations are also checked by life and even fall, you thought?
- You to me – I to you. – He to me made badly, and I here too will hurt him. Also you will finally spoil the relations.
Most of families break up during so-called crises of the relations. It 3rd and 7th of cohabitation. During this time the romanticism disappears, and reproaches and fatigue from each other begin. If you feel something similar, release each other and be engaged in the life out of family. Put emphasis on career, a hobby, take care of the own life, eventually. Temporary alienation will help to understand, the spouse is how dear to you, and you are dear to it. The next stage of crisis between 17th and 25th the lives need to be embellished visits of theaters, departures to a holiday and other changes of a situation. Even if from the spouse unfaithfulness began, try to close eyes to it. Age and psychological features force both to try to make up during this period for lost time that then was about what to remember. Most often such campaigns come to an end with loss of interest in illegitimate communications, and everything falls back into place.
Whether it is worth keeping family, to solve anyway only to you. But before you will make the choice, remember a story: the elderly married couple was asked – as you managed to live so many years together in peace? What they answered: Presently old things were not thrown out, and able to be repaired.