To be betrayed by darling – means to feel special pain and the strongest disappointment. The trace from spiritual wounds remains for a long time, and you should not build illusions, believing that it is possible to forget everything.
It is necessary to recognize treason as already come true fact and to make everything that the past did not make the life of you miserable. Do not constrain emotion: the anger, offense, disappointment, rage – are quite natural in such situation, but it is not necessary to be late for a long time in these feelings.
What to do after treason of the husband?
If you strongly intend to keep family, it is necessary to make many sincere efforts and to stock up with patience. Leave the past in the past. If made the decision to forgive, then nevermore come back to it neither in a talk, nor in thoughts though it and not simply.
Find answers to 3 questions:
- Whether to continue to live in my forces further with this person without reproaches, memoirs and fears that everything can repeat again?
- Whether the husband still loves me?
- Whether we will be able to overcome together all difficulties which our family met?
If the answer to all questions is received affirmative, then it is necessary, having mobilized all sincere forces, to try to adjust life. Councils of psychologists will come to the rescue:
- First of all you should not deceive yourself – you will not be able to forget about treason only because so you want. It is necessary to give itself time, perhaps not one month before pain becomes dull. Over time everything will get better, and rare memoirs will not injure any more.
- Do not accuse yourself. There is no your fault here and if the husband had any claims, then it was necessary to state them directly, but not to seek consolation and understanding in embraces of other woman.
- Perhaps you need to live separately some time, with the prospect of preservation of marriage. You will have time to calm down, and at the husband – to think over the act. Usually at mutual feelings parting is followed by reunion.
- If the husband is strongly suppressed by the fault, you should not "finish" him, reminding at each opportunity of its treason. Continuous reproaches for the past can force it out from you for ever.
- If you cannot independently cope with a problem, but very much you want, then ask together with the spouse for the qualified help the psychologist. Often such marriages can be saved thanks to the help from the outside.
Process of preservation of marriage requires return and sincerity from both spouses. If there is no reciprocity, love and desire, then even you should not try to keep such marriage – better to leave and try to start anew, but already with other person.