How to keep the friendly relations with the former spouses

How to keep the friendly relations with the former spouses

It would seem, only recently you were happy, kissing to the accompaniment of cheerful shouts: "Bitterly!" and "Happiness to young people!". No matter, what became the reason of misunderstanding and parting. It is much more important to keep the warm-heartedness remains for the person who once was so dear to you.

Forgiveness - a way to friendship

To forgive the former spouse or the spouse, it is necessary to sit down at the negotiating table. Do not wait for the first step, muffle an inappropriate voice of pride and call the former partner on a conversation. Keep patience if the person is not ready to talk to you yet. Appoint date of a meeting when both of you are ready to discuss current situation quietly.

In a conversation do not use the phrases beginning with a pronoun "You" ("you were...", "you made...", "you offended...", etc.). It is charge tactics, and it is perceived aurally as aggression.

Tell about the experiences, but without compassionate notes be in good voice and using "I" as little as possible. For example, replace "I so suffered (suffered)" on a phrase: "You know, to me it was sore when we could not come to understanding in this problem". Thereby, you will also tell about yourself, and will show that the partner is not indifferent for you. As motivation to the friendly union the phrases proposing a solution can serve: "Give we...", "If you want, I can...". Try not to ask how now the person without you lives. You left, and private life of everyone - a side which cannot be crossed. If the former spouse or the spouse want, they will tell the secrets, but already at a friendship stage. Adequately and objectively estimate the causes of your last conflicts. In case of your fault, recognize it and sincerely regret.

Search of common goals

The general child - that thread which will hold you together for several years. Discuss options of education and conditions of keeping of the child. Do not limit communication of the child with other parent to the days off, let communicate so much how many it is necessary. In the absence of the general children, find other options of communication. Take an interest whether you can count on the former spouse (or to the spouse) in such business. It does not mean that you can call three o'clock in the morning and ask to come to repair the begun to flow crane or to calm your loosened nerves. For this purpose there are relevant services. Business or planning of joint rest can be common cause. Friends sometimes have a rest together.

Be ready to accept new love

It concerns as you, and the partner. Life is unpredictable, you can meet anew, and can find other love. If again you fell in love, tactfully report about it to the former spouse / spouse. Specify that it will not affect your friendly relations in any way. Be ready to listen to jealousy and even criticism. React quietly. Can happen so that your former partner found new love. Keep wisdom. You agreed to be friends, and the love of friends should not hinder to friendship. Be not afraid if suddenly you anew fell in love with the former spouse / spouse! Accurately check whether your feelings are mutual. If feelings are mutual, then you have enough experience to avoid mistakes in the future. You can start safely the relations with a clean slate. You should not be upset to the fact that your love is meek. The person or will fall in love with you again, or you should look for happiness with others. Partings, stains, meetings and appointments - are integral in our life. You approach everything philosophically, take useful experience, and you learn to live happily.

Author: «MirrorInfo» Dream Team