To tell the truth, all women at heart dream of family, stability, a traditional cell of society. But not always it turns out as it was dreamed. Here you meet the wonderful young man, he meets all your requirements, you enter the relations, you fall in love … And suddenly you understand that instead of a happy end under sounds of a march of Mendelssohn at you the banal affair with the married man turned out. How to start a romance, all know, and about how to leave the married man – the few. It is unlikely the girl respecting herself consciously will go to such relations. How to stop loving the married man – we will tell about it below.
As psychologists of the whole world advise, for a start just it is necessary to think, estimate properly all advantages and shortcomings of such relations. Perhaps, at this stage of a course of life you are not ready to family yet, and meetings from time to time, the unostentatious novel – what now is necessary for you? If it not so, urgently solve a problem!
How to leave the lover?
Do not sink in these relations as a whirlpool, urgently look for other man. Shortcomings of the relations are obvious: the place on the second plan, promises to marry which will never become a reality, lonely evenings waiting for a call … Try to get quickly the new relations, life does not stand still, and you need to be in time so many. The relations with the banded man is a senseless race for two hares.
Parting with the married man – process difficult, often painful, however result is worth it. Here several important recommendations which precisely will help to make it simpler:
- Be not engaged in self-deception. Have not head in the pink clouds - the destroyed illusions in the future can lead to a nervous breakdown. If you did not manage to become attached strongly to the lover yet, try to look at him without pink glasses. Very banal, but effective council - write out its negative qualities on a leaf, describe in paints what is not pleasant to you in this person. Even the socks thrown in a corner can become a serious occasion to break off the relations disturbing you, to understand how to stop loving the married lover.
- Talk frankly and on purity. The conversation has to take place when both of you are quiet and balanced. Explain the position, unwillingness to continue the senseless relations. If he is a person decent, then will not begin to insist on communication continuation. If begins to promise to divorce shortly (when children grow up, the sick wife will recover), tell that are ready to continue the novel, but only after you see a stamp in its passport - about a divorce.
- Push the lover to actions. If nothing helps, and you feel how you give in to temptation again, just try to provoke the man to break in relations. Women are able to do it if there are desire and requirement, even the most modest and kind. There is a set of ways to make it - refuse intim, make scandals, do not take the call, refer to constant employment, demand impossible. All this for certain will be enough that he understood - you not the woman of a dream. But do not fall to meanness: do not blackmail at all, you do not knock to the legal wife, do not step on callosities and weak points.
- Just disappear! Go about the own business, go to courses, devote time to yourself to darling, girlfriends, parents, the child forgotten and the offended husband. Do not take the call, do not respond to letters. It will be very difficult to make it, you will need all your courage and patience! The main thing now is not to sit and to howl to the moon from melancholy, and to be engaged in interesting, important issues. The lover will understand that you can live life, without him.
How it is beautiful to leave the lover whether parting without tears and tortures is possible? It is unlikely, if you had the real feelings. However the courage, determination and persistence will help you to leave the winner in this difficult situation.