The conflicts between daughters-in-law and mothers-in-law happen rather often. Especially sharp they happen if they live in one apartment. Suffer in such situation not only the women, but also the man, whose mothers and the wife cannot find a common language.
The daughter-in-law and the mother-in-law cannot agree about how to be in charge of housekeeping, at everyone the outlook on life. Besides the wife and mother begin to compete among themselves for love of their son and husband. Women, tired of rivalry, can put the ultimatum: "Either I, or she".
The man can break off the relations with one of them. Thereby he or will destroy the family, or will betray the woman who gave birth to him and grew up. At any choice one of women and the man will suffer. Therefore you do not hurry to make the decision and try to correct a situation.
If you live together with mother, by all means leave from her. Rent apartment or the room. Even if your living conditions will strongly worsen, the psychological situation in the house by all means will improve, and it is much more important, than fresh repair or spacious rooms. After your mother and the wife cease to meet daily, at them at least a half of the reasons for the conflicts will be gone.
She has to understand that you started the family in which the hostess – your wife. Now you have the right to make decisions only you and your spouse. The opinion of mother is important, and she can state it, but you are not obliged to it to follow. Explain that to criticize behavior of your spouse, to condemn her abilities and so forth you will not allow. Such arrangement of borders is necessary if mother tries to establish the orders in your family. At the same time tell how you appreciate and you love mother. Promise that you will visit her by all means or to call her once a week. If you have children, do not deprive of them an opportunity to communicate with the grandmother. Discuss a situation with the wife. Explain to her that your mother will always remain the woman to whom you are obliged by the birth. The daughter-in-law has full authority not to love the mother-in-law and not to communicate even with her, but to demand from the man to stop all relations with own mother inadmissibly. If you have children or you plan them, ask your wife to present that her child will have to refuse communication with it at the request of darling. Perhaps, you should reconsider your relation to mother. Certainly, you have to communicate and render with her to her the financial and moral support. But first of all, you now the head of your own family, and the main part of your money and free time you should spend for the wife and your children. Tell both women about the feelings. They have to understand that you love both of them and the refusal of any of them will make you unfortunate.