The task of the parent is to teach first of all the child to express anger in socially acceptable ways. For a start help the child to realize and designate the feelings by words. For example, "You now very much become angry about mother", "Is very a pity for you that the father took away from you phone". It is good to help the child thus not only with expression of anger, but also to designate other its feelings: surprise, fear, joy, disgust. It is easier to control clear feelings.
The large role is played by an example of parents. If parents in anger throw things, shout a mat and beat ware, to silly punish the child for the same behavior. He just seeks to be as mother or the father because in the opinion of the small child parents - perfection and the embodiment of the whole world. Even when you become angry, show the "correct" behavior at the child. To tell something it seems: "I am very angry now because you broke my vase". You have the right to be angry, and with the child including. The question is in how you show the anger.
You should not hit the kid back and to punish him physically. If he can be struck then why it is impossible to hit mother or the younger little sister? And unless there can be safe a world in which even the dearest and close people hurt?
Teach the child to different ways of expression of rage. Play with it "an angry bear cub" who stamps legs and growls when he is dissatisfied with something. Try to stick together or draw the rage together. Suggest to beat a pillow or to tear paper when the kid is really angry. And still, if the child becomes angry about you, arrange fight with pillows or play together paper "snowballs". It very much will help both him and you to dump tension and to return joy to your relations.
And finally, ask yourself a question: whether and in the child business? Children well feel parents and a situation in family. Without realizing that, they express that tension and that nervousness which are carried in themselves by adults. If you understand that it is just your situation, try to restore balance in family, to take care of itself, to calm down, have a rest, to please itself with something. Remember that happy and quiet children - at happy and quiet parents.