The fear is an unpleasant sense of danger of a situation, the internal state caused by the threatening real or alleged disaster. In terms of psychology it is considered negatively painted emotional process... There is a lot of definitions, the ocean of articles, books, theses, researches, experts: someone as the house psychologist raises own self-assessment, and someone who is more courageous, professionally on it makes big money. And what should I do, if I am afraid? How to me to overcome fear?
Let's talk about it.
For a start – there is no person who would never be afraid. Psychoanalysis allocates two types of fear. The first – fear as reaction to perception of external danger. Such fear is "good", if I may say so, because performs alarm function "DANGEROUSLY!!!", than starts the action mechanism – "ATTACK, be PROTECTED or RUN". Such fear – the normal fear helping a self-preservation instinct without it our life would be in constant danger.
The second type of fear – pathological. If the usual fear is a reaction to a situation, then pathological is present constantly. The children's mentality easily gives in to influence of pathological fears. The fear such is capable to lodge so strong in consciousness and to affect so strongly behavior of the child that he is not able to think of anything the friend any more. About one year children have a fear of strangers. Up to one and a half years children are afraid of unexpectedly loud sounds. By two years the child so often met doctors, felt pain, taking injections or being exposed to unpleasant surveys and manipulations that began to be afraid of people in white dressing gowns. Four-year-old children are frightened by darkness and the closed space. That is why they ask not to turn off the light for the night or in general are afraid to sleep alone. By five-six years the child begins to understand irreversibility of death. It causes the fear expressed in fear of fairy tale characters, such as Koschei the Immortal, Baba-yaga, Zmey Gorynych.
How to overcome fear at the child?
The fear of death is inevitable on all way of growing of the personality. But in time not warned first fears can be transformed to pathological. How to be if it is impossible independently to help the child to overcome fear and uncertainty and to transfer negative emotions to playful way, and then to positive? You are not lazy in such difficult cases to address the expert. But, first of all, create such atmosphere in which your child will feel safe. Begin with yourself – quiet, kind, tender parents – the best means for children's fears.
The technique helping to overcome fear at the child is called "an emotional swing". It when the fear instantly is replaced by positive emotions. Repeatedly repeating exercise will help the child to change emotions of fear with neutral or positive. If the child is afraid of the dark, use such reception: advise it to run for a moment to the dark room, and then to run out back in brightly lit where he will be met by mother's embraces. Stay in the dark will gradually increase over and over again. One important condition: the initiative has to proceed from the child. You will insist – you will only increase fear. To overcome children's fear any entertainments including such reception as "an emotional swing" will approach. Thinking out games, do not forget that the last emotion always has to be positive!
How to learn to overcome fear to the adult?
Should it is important to adult be afraid, and be able to overcome fear. There are several recommendations how to overcome sensation of fear.
The first - do what you are afraid of. Successful become, but are not born. Therefore if you want to achieve the objectives, it is necessary somehow to learn to overcome fear. Act, despite fear. Develop such habit. The fear is a reaction. Learn to react through fear: "To me it is very terrible, but I will make it!". Action treats fear for now you hesitate, it becomes stronger.
The second - that if IT after all occurs? Present the worst option of succession of events. Usually after such logical forecast the fear if does not vanish completely, then significantly decreases. The fact is that the most unpleasant option is much better, than uncertainty. The fear having the particular person does not frighten any more. Because your mind, knowing "the enemy by sight", at once will begin "to throw" solutions of a way out of unpleasant situation. Knowing what needs to be done, you begin to act.
The third - make the decision. The confusion and doubts generate fear. Having made the decision, you will get up courage and will make what you are afraid of. Besides, make the FRIGHTENING decision. Let the decision will be so strong that in itself will frighten you. Then you will not be able to be afraid of actions for its performance. Tell yourself: "To me it is terrible, but I make the decision to execute …, and I will achieve the!" How to be told, eyes are afraid, and hands do.
The fourth - divide and rule. The idea in the following: at first to overcome small fears, and then to cope with big. Algorithm of actions following:
- Define the most important fear.
- Divide it into 5 smaller, making fears.
- Write down the answer to a question: "What will I receive if I cope with it?" (again ask and answer until the answer does not contain your emotional state).
- Begin to cope with the easiest of them, passing to more difficult.
- If you feel fear even before it then break it into 5 small and repeat the third point.
- Step by step overcome fears, from simple to difficult.
- Train constantly.
Only thus you learn to overcome the fear.
Also you remember, any positive emotion is much stronger than fear, all of us saw how man easily in love can overcome even the most terrible fear for the sake of the beloved.