As told L.N. Tolstaya in the novel "Anna Karenina": "All happy families are similar at each other, and each unhappy family is unhappy in own way". In this regard the statement of the classic there is a strong wish to learn this secret of happy family. Let's try to understand what it consists in?
In any collective (and the family is collective too even if in it there are no children) everything is all right when all on the places and is correctly carried out by the duties, and for this purpose it is necessary to work constantly on itself, improving the character and skill.
Before getting a job in the company, it is necessary to learn the forthcoming duties that it is necessary to know and be able to do. The following step is preparation for a desirable position: study on a work profile, acquisition of necessary experience in this field of activity. But when business concerns family, usually due attention is not paid to preparation for family life. It is paid much attention to how to start a family and what to do next and that is behind words: "also they lived long and happily" - remains a riddle. However the most part of success in family life depends on that, preparation for performance of family duties before marriage was how well carried out.
So, each girl wishing to marry has to be ready to carry out fundamental obligations of the wife:
- Good hostess. Yes, not to become her for several years of family life, and already to be. I.e. it is already necessary to be able to do to plan before marriage the time so that all to be in time: washing, cleaning, cooking, design of the room, etc. - have to keep within reasonable time frames, be expedited, qualitatively and effectively. If you are able to delegate some duties in whole or in part to other family members - honor to you and praise if it is reasonable management, but not shifting from the sore head on healthy.
- Beauty and ocharovatelnitsa. The wife always has to look well-groomed and attractive, as well as prior to a wedding. Manners and appearance have to be charming that the husband hurried home, but not behind additional work.
- Interesting personality. Never it is impossible to refuse personal growth: you grow in a hobby, hobbies, the professional sphere. It is possible to be improved as the housewife - let here to you will not be equal. Anyway read classical literature, you are interested in culture and art, and it will be always interesting to talk to you.
- Careful mother: education of children and care of health of family always lay on female shoulders. That this part of female life did not lay down a heavy burden, in advance, before you have a possibility of care of children, learn how it is correct to do it. Find answers to questions: what is characteristic of children of each age? What is norm of development and that - a deviation? What diseases dangerous and what are not present and how to distinguish them and to treat? How to raise children without shouts, abuse and strict punishments? Looking for answers to these and other questions concerning you, surely you look at result of application of those advice which you get: how many children at the person giving to you advice on education and which of these children as a result grew up? What health at the person and members of his family while he gives to you advice on treatment? If you are prepared for subjects of health and education of children in advance, then any more will not feel concern aboutconcern about the occurred pregnancy (not important, desired or not) - you precisely know what should be done therefore you will perfect only nuances, and the child will not seem a burden. By the way, too it is necessary to be prepared for pregnancy in advance.
- The loving wife: study psychology and features of existence of men. In this case you will always be able correctly to interact with the husband, smoothing acute angles.
- Faithful companion. Sort out who in family main. Main husband in family. He is the captain of the family ship. Be a good navigator, and no storms to you are terrible.
- Pleasant person. Work the character and lifestyle according to the expectations from family: whether you correspond to that level which you put for other members of the future family?
Treat direct duties of the husband:
- Material security of family, perhaps, one of the most obvious duties of the husband. Of course, the wife can work too and it is even quite good to earn, but it is not her zone of responsibility, and she has full authority to refuse work in favor of house service. Therefore before entering the relations with the girl, get good work that then it is fleeting to tell it: "Darling if you want, you can not work". This broad gesture, perhaps, and it will not be realized, but will give to bigger durability to your relations.
- Safety of family – one more major duty of the husband. Here providing family with own housing in the safe area and safety in the dwelling enters. Internal security includes fire, electric, radiation and mechanical safety of a living space: that did not beat, did not flood, did not burn down, did not beat with current, did not irradiate, etc. If by the time of creation of family you already have housing - it is fine, but not everyone can brag of such luxury at the very beginning of "age of consent". In this case investigate properly the housing market, estimate the opportunities if it is necessary, count the credit or a mortgage for different options. Choosing housing, be guided first of all by its safety and compliance to the status of the family person: the quiet area, remoteness of highways, existence nearby child care facilities (will be not really great if you go to work on foot, and to carry children in a garden or school on transport or own car). Of course, there are many different options, choose the most reasonable. After all, the apartment, small or improper on arrangement, can always be sold or exchanged for the best option. To ensure social safety of members of your future family learn art of conflict resolution, study the main legal framework or make friends with the knowing people (the most important, make friends with all neighbors and maintain good relations with them). By the way, the state registration of marriage belongs too to area of safety of family as legally protects both spouses, their rights and property in case of a divorce or unforeseen situations.
- Head of the family. Adoption of decisions, strategically important for family, always was in strong male hands. The husband is the captain of the family ship. Skillfully to operate it and to conduct family to the happy future, develop in yourself qualities of the strategist, you learn to think forward, to count several options (learn to play chess – this game will be able great to help you with development of strategic and tactical thinking). At the same time do not forget that the captain has a team to which opinion it is necessary to listen too and with which it is just necessary to discuss important issues in order to avoid a revolt by the ship.
- The loving husband. That the wife did not seem a being from other planet, study at least a little fundamentals of female psychology, feature of female thinking and a view of the world. If it is excessive, then study properly own darling before you make her the proposal, - in the future not to be surprised to her reaction and behavior.
- Pleasant person. Think in advance and extremely honestly about as far as you correspond to that image of family which you expect to create. In this regard eliminate unnecessary habits and develop the best qualities.
So, it is necessary many, especially, if it is necessary to remake, but not to create works from scratch. When to begin such planning of family? The earlier, the better. It is ideal when parents bring up the successful family man from the moment of his birth, but if you have to think of it independently, then it is the best of all to begin at teenage age, it is possible independently, but it is better under the leadership of the adult whose family you consider happy. But even if impudent age already behind, then begin right now because if you read this article, so the question ripened, and it is time to work! There is nothing impossible, dare and work on yourself.