Divorce process very painful even if you decided to leave by agreement. Right after the divorce there is desire to forget and to see nevermore the ex-husband.
However feeling of pity to, infinite internal dialogues with it, questions of children: "KogYoda the father will return?" only add fuel to the fire. Psychologists are sure: chtoyoba to reduce the period of sufferings, to turn the page and to begin new life, it is important to improve the horoyoshy, equal relations with the former spouse. How to make it?
Why good relations are necessary
If all of you did not "cool down" after a razvoyod yet, you should lower degree of the emotions in the portion of cold loyogichesky rassuzhdeyoniya. Whether there is a chance that life does not stolyoknt you with it cheloyoveky any more? Most likely your answer "Is not present!". You have general deyot, mutual friends or you work together... Means, to you pridetyosya to communicate. And to cease to suffer and shudder at a vstreyocha, the best is not to wage bessmyslenyony war, and to sokhrayonit good an otnosheyoniya what they were once in the past, to be exact - to build otyonosheniye on new osyonovaniye.
To cease to accuse
If you feel that the saved-up offenses do not allow you to communicate quietly, try to sound them. PredlozhiYote to meet in the neutral territory and to talk: "I want to communicate to you, but to quarrel any more not to a hoyoch". Discuss what at you became painful, find out motives of its acts, the bases of claims, etc. Not to turn this conversation into scandal, it is necessary not to accuse, and to tell about the feelings.
Replace aggressive "You - statements" with isyopovedalny "Ya-designs". Instead of phrases: "You were such rough, a kogyoda...", "You postoyanyono offended me the fact that...", it is necessary to say: "I was very much a rasstroyoena when...", "I want to understand that you waited from me when...", etc. PoYoluchiv answers to muchayuyoshchy questions you, you byyostry will calm down.
Language behind teeth
Even if you have all bases to accuse being in treachery, do not share them with curious acquaintances. Answer questions with obtekayeyomy phrases, without mentioning podyorobnost: "Did not get on together" and a point. If you vyyonosit litter from a log hut, your words will surely reach being and will provoke it to otvetyony actions. And then it will be possible to forget about the hoyoroshy relations.
You keep the general memoirs
To help itself to forgive obiyoda to being, try to concentrate not on negative moyoment of your gap, and on volume good that you had at the beginning of joint life and for the sake of what it is worth keeping otyonosheniye.
New partners - under a secret
At least the first vreyomya try not to appear with the new partner where you can meet former. Give to a seyoba and it time, chtoyoba to get used to new circumstances and to get over that you any more not than steam.