Quarrels are an integral part of the family relations as two adults with the developed living position and often different opinions can seldom find a common language in a disputable situation. That quarrels did not lead to destruction of the relations, family psychologists recommend to follow several rules which will help to reconcile and forget about the conflict.
First of all reconciliation after the quarrel demands the first step towards from one of its participants. At the same time psychologists advise to remember that it is not recognition of the fault, and only allows to show responsibility, a maturity and determination. Therefore excessive pride after the quarrel will hardly promote improvement of the relations whereas the offer to forget about the conflict can become that step for which its second participant very much waits. At the same time, according to psychologists, it is not necessary to look for reconciliations right after the quarrel – both parties have to cool down, analyze emotionally occurred and told, to understand the cause of conflict, and then already to hang out the flag of truce.
It will be quite good to involve to estimation of a situation from outside the close friend – perhaps, he will be able to give more objective assessment to the event.
However after the quarrel you should not delay with rapprochement for a long time as the caused offenses can regenerate in a gradual distance of people from each other. Some occasion – for example, the invitation of family to a birthday of the friend which it is impossible to refuse can become the excellent decision for reconciliation. The joint choice of a gift, and then and mutual pastime in a warm festive circle, can significantly accelerate a conflict convergence on is not present. At the same time psychologists recommend not to hesitate to apologize even if the second participant of the conflict was wrong – over time he realizes the wrongfulness, and the way for this purpose can be paved in advance. Besides, most often after the first apology the second at once follows – from the second party.
After reconciliation it is impossible to remember anew old offenses at all, trying to manipulate the person by means of sense of guilt for last offenses. It can lead to accumulation of a bigger offense for rancor of the partner and nullify the best efforts used to preservation of the relations. To smooth the remained acute angles after reconciliation, surely it is necessary to talk in a confidential situation, showing at the same time humility and tenderness which are capable to kindle any ice on heart. However, psychologists claim that sometimes quarrels are even useful – they lead to rough reconciliation and warm up slightly cooled down feelings.
It is possible to quarrel with the preventive purpose only provided that the conflicts will take place seldom and completely to be controlled by the initiator.
At the time of the quarrel it is also very important not to be predictable as it can strongly aggravate a situation – such behavior leads to loss of interest of partners to each other. For this reason the psychologists advise at peak of a quarrel to make something absolutely unexpected or absurd – for example, to break a plate or to loudly start singing the favourite song. Similar tricks often relieve the intense tension, and the conflict comes to an end with little effort on both sides. The main thing at the same time is not to go too far in used "special effects".