Grinding in of two characters not always proceeds simply and often gives rise to storm in a teacup. Sometimes there are quarrels reaching break in relations. Let's consider how it is possible to reconcile with the guy after the quarrel that for this purpose needs to be undertaken that is advised by psychologists in this case.
How to reconcile with the guy
First of all, after the strong quarrel it is necessary to give time to itself (and to it) to calm down and to well contemplate a problem. Quite often both are guilty of such situation, but happens that the fault lies with someone one of partners.
Whether you know? Researchers of human psychology claim that our daily decisions are based mainly on subconsciousness.
If she is guilty
When after the quarrel the girl realizes that she is guilty of the happened parting, she begins to look for ways of reconciliation. The main thing that should be made in this case — to apologize. SMS with apology and the repentant face smilie acceptable at a small quarrel of the girl with the boy. After the serious conflict it is necessary to apologize only at a personal meeting, and by SMS or in phone call it is possible unless to ask about it.
If the guy does not open your SMS messages, does not answer calls and messages in social networks, then send him the letter to e-mail. It can be done and in case it is heavy to you to apologize in words. It is not necessary to do the letter too long or to take templates from the Internet.
It has to bear personal sense and not to be longer than one page, without the painted fine details. First of all, it is necessary to write about recognition of the fault and repentance, desire to reconcile and to tell sincerely about the feelings to the guy. At the same time it is necessary to consider that he can show your letter to other people or in general not he can open your message, but someone from members of his family. At a personal meeting it is not necessary to sob or press on pity, but also to represent that nothing happened, too is not necessary.
Learn what to do to be pleasant to the man.
Prior to a meeting it is necessary to consider a situation and to offer ways of its decision. It is not necessary to make empty promises, it is necessary to be extremely honest and to tell about what you feel. In principle, if the guy came to a meeting, then he is potentially ready to reconciliation, but can lay down the conditions. If the guy does not want to be reconciled with you at once, it is not necessary to become angry about him for it — it is necessary to be respectful to his opinion. Perhaps, he did not cool down after the quarrel yet and he needs time.
When the guy is guilty
If the guy was an initiator of the conflict, and you consider him the guilty person, then it is necessary to give at first to it time to realize the fault and to apologize. It is necessary to consider that men for this purpose need much more time, than to women. If time goes, and the guy does not hurry with apologies, then it can turn out that he denies and does not admit the guilt. If the cause of a quarrel not especially to you is important, and you just want to return darling, then it is necessary to take the first step most and to suggest to meet for a conversation. At a meeting it is possible to tell that you are ready to forget a quarrel and to continue meetings that your relations have to be above small squabbles. If the cause of a quarrel after all touched you, then make an appointment and tell that you feel about it and as it was unpleasant to you. Look at its reaction, there can be it will help it to admit the guilt and to reconsider the happened situation in a different way. If the guy does not understand the fault or shifts it to you, then your conflict will not be resolved. In this case it is worth thinking whether this guy is necessary to you.
How to reconcile with the ex-boyfriend
If the quarrel of which both are guilty led to a complete separation of the relations, do not hurry to return back everything at once. Both of you should calm down and distract. Does not follow right after parting with the guy to send it SMS or to share plans for an occasion of your reconciliation through mutual friends.
Be engaged in the appearance or self-education better, try to avoid some period of places where you can meet it. At the same time it is not necessary to disappear absolutely from its horizon, it will decide to change the phone number or the residence — that it is a final gap.
Important! At a casual meeting if the guy ignores you, it is impossible to track down him at all, to require attention.
Perhaps, for this period your feelings to the guy will cool down and you will like life without it more. If you decide to try to return the former darling, then remember time when you began to meet. Analyze that in you attracted it what you then were. When you decide on a meeting (if he did not invite you yet), consider the reasons of your parting and that you can offer for their elimination. Before purpose of a meeting learn from mutual friends whether the place near it already other girl is taken.
Ways of reconciliation
In a quarrel someone should take the first step and if your guy does not hurry to be reconciled, then it is necessary to meet requirements of him.
Plan issue
Suggest the guy to descend together somewhere. It is necessary to go there where it will be interesting to both of you. You should not invite the guy for reconciliation in the opera if he is not her fan. It is better to descend together to mutual friends who treat both of you equally kindly. It is possible to visit restaurant, bowling, a skating rink. At the same time try to be in all beauty that the guy estimated whom he can lose.
Intimate proximity
Sex always brings together couple and smoothes many problems. After dropping tension it becomes frequent the cause of quarrels of insignificant.
Whether you know? During the quarrels in blood the level of adrenaline which is also powerful aphrodisiac increases. Some partners specially provoke scandal that then it is passionate to be reconciled, but psychologists consider similar tactics dangerous to the relations.
Lovemaking after the conflict should not be constant sign of reconciliation. It is the best of all to use it to dump nervous tension.
Prepare a tasty dish
Show to the darling the culinary talent. Make its favourite food for dinner and create romantic atmosphere. Light candles, the aromalamp with a pleasant smell, turn on the music meeting a situation. And, of course, be fully equipped — a hairstyle, beautiful clothes, a well-groomed look.
How in time to prevent a quarrel
To learn not to take offense and to treat carelessly told words in the address to the young girl calmly happens hardly. But to seek to react normally to different situations it is necessary always. You do not shout at the guy because of subsplitting in your address. Males cannot sometimes formulate the thoughts and actually mean absolutely another and not that you thought. You should not do hasty conclusions also. Often the quarrel happens because of a conflict situation.
Important! During the quarrels it is impossible to touch at all mental and sexual capacities of the partner, secret habits about which he trustfully told you. It is not necessary to tell words: You are same as (yours father-brother-mother), I leave!, You always …, etc.
Of course, it is impossible to save offense and not to discuss controversial issues — it will only aggravate any problem. Situations when opinions differed, need to be considered separately and attentively. The found solution acceptable for two will save time and nerves to both and also will help to avoid quarrels and squabbles. The conversation about the arisen problem has to be carried on quietly, without hysterics. It is necessary to consider each opinion and not to perceive other point of view as incorrect. Anyway try not to fly into a rage and not to lose tranquility, to keep respect for the guy and his opinion. Important in the absence of the decision which would suit all, not to pass to insults. It is worth remembering the good moments in the relations better and why you were together. It is forbidden to remind of the bad and sad moments of your joint life. In the upset feelings the situation is perceived not absolutely adequately and it is possible to make the decision on parting mistakenly. And here when the intensity of emotions will cease, it is necessary to be sorry about carelessly told words in a rage rush.
Whether you know? Men, according to psychologists, heavier than women endure quarrels and partings, but do it in own way.
Councils of psychologists
Experts in psychology at emergence of quarrels make the following recommendations:
- It is not necessary to keep ringing and send constantly SMS to the guy right after the quarrel.
- If the guy does not seek to go for reconciliation, do not become angry: all have the point of view.
- During the meeting after the quarrel it is not necessary to ache, make empty promises, to show depressive or other negative emotions.
- You are respectful, do not break on insults, consider also his point of view. During discussion of the conflict try to understand it, ask the specifying questions, but do not substitute his thought for the. Then express the opinion on the created situation.
- You do not involve in the quarrel with darling of parents or friends.
- Be honest with the guy and if allowed injustice in relation to him, then recognize it and confess. Make a promise not to allow such repeated situation.
- During a conflict situation try not to fall before insults, to allow negative emotions to win over reason. Take a break better and consider solutions, and only then return to discussion of a problem.
- It is not necessary to suppress problems and to save a negative in the relations which can develop into a quarrel and end with a gap. The relations should be cleared up, but to do it reasonably, without insults.
- If there was a serious quarrel, then it is necessary to revise the behavior and behavior of the guy, and then to try to correct a situation to the best.
- It is not necessary to be zealous too with attempts of reconciliation and to be persuasive. Sometimes all tricks are useless, and the guy does not go for reconciliation not only because of disagreement or because it is difficult to it to forgive you but because and prior to a quarrel he already thought of a gap. Sometimes the guy to calm down, needs more time, and all attempts of rapprochement during this period will be out of place.
After the quarrels the reconciliation is possible if both partners of it want and take steps for this purpose. Try to avoid squabbles subsequently and to solve the conflicts peacefully, without abuse and insults, considering not only the opinion, but also opinion of the partner.