Man and woman. Eternal opposition of the stronger and weaker sex. Two halves so not similar at each other, and at the same time lasting to each other as if two magnets. In any union of these two beings, collisions are inevitable. The quarrel of the man and woman is the phenomenon which surprises nobody long ago. But for men of dismantling from darling it is the real stress from which not only the mood, but also nerves spoil.
How to avoid a quarrel from darling? We will help you to find the answer to this question by means of effective councils.
The quarrel with the woman – as it not to allow?
How many time would not pass from the moment of the meeting of the man and the woman, gradually each couple is waited by inevitable – they forget language of love and begin to reproach each other with trifles, to demand, to doubt and accuse. Why it occurs? As usual, all views of the person of life are formed in family where he was brought up and grew. In this regard, marrying each of partners sees before himself a peculiar ideal of that what there has to be a partner in life. But the reality sorts things out, and those shortcomings to which lovers did not pay attention earlier becomes obvious and intolerant. Naturally, there is desire to change darling under itself. From this point quarrels between the man and the woman begin. Different views on a thing, on what has to be life, plus the share of egoism also as a result turns out eternal discontent. And here each man clutches at the head and begins to think for the first time how to him to arrive not to quarrel with the wife?
The specialist in the family relations John Gottman for many years studied married couples and their health during the quarrels. As a result he managed to reveal regularity, on the basis of which he created three rules as to the man to avoid a quarrel with the wife.
- First of all it is necessary to wonder: Whether I want to hurt darling?. This question needs to be asked every time when it seems that the wife is not right. It is fine to think that the anger is not an occasion to forget that before you there is still darling who hardly wants to do much harm.
- Self-checking – a great way of how to avoid quarrels with the wife and a reminder that emotions do irreparable harm to the relations. In a rush of a passionate dispute it is possible to tell so many terrible things which the wife will remember even after reconciliation for a long time. Work on the emotions is a serious contribution to development of the harmonious relations.
- Trying to reconcile, it is necessary to choose such moment when emotions both already died away and both are capable to discuss a problem quietly. Otherwise the rest of anger will become a spark for ignition of the next scandal.
- In addition, thinking how to avoid quarrels from darling it would be absolutely quite good to learn to relieve the tension and not to allow even a hint on collision of interests. It is necessary to make it also because many women are inclined to make specially row, pursuing the personal aims. That it did not occur, any attempts to provoke a quarrel need to be smoothed from first second. If you, for example, again scattered socks and the wife began the attack against this bad habit, answer for fun that you just like to observe how it it is delightful bends to lift them from a floor.
We learn to be reconciled from darling
And what to do to the one who with the wife already quarreled? For such a case too there are some councils:
- it is important to remember that the psychology of reconciliation of women and men in many respects differs. If the man needs just to be alone, walk and keep silent, then it is impossible to leave the woman alone at all. Even if she shouts depart from me she needs to be calmed kind and gentle words. And only after that it is necessary to go for a walk, be alone, etc.;
- as soon as the quarrel ceases, both spouses need to embrace each other. In the first several seconds of embrace will seem affected, but then understanding that scandals only hurt will come. If there is no desire to embrace yet, then any joint action can replace it;
- in search of the answer how to reconcile with the wife, nobody can tell about a quarrel. Reconciliation will come and everything will be as usual, but people around which were aware of events will begin to provoke new scandal. For example, if one of spouses told about a quarrel to parents, then even after reconciliation they will treat the soulmate much worse.
To reconcile after the quarrel not so difficult as it seems from outside. The main thing is to be able to show an initiative and to make a step even if the correctness remained behind the second half. It is necessary to work on the relations constantly and constantly. Whatever became the cause of conflict, it is important to look for compromises always. And then the love and respect will be the best award for the victims in favor of family.