After a colourful holiday with guests and flowers realities of family life begin. Not always spouses in the solution of household problems are at height. In this article we will consider a family quarrel because of the man, the analysis, the reasons and ways of a solution to the conflict.
The analysis of behavior and action in different situations
Quarrels between spouses arise often, but some couples learned to extinguish the conflict in a germ, and someone immediately files for a divorce. It is important to understand because of what there was a conflict, in what the prime cause. Having analyzed the actions and having understood prerequisites, the man if it is an initiator of a quarrel or conflict, it is much simpler to make correction of mistakes.
Treason
For the loving woman it is important to know that for the man she one, the most desired and unique. If in family there are children, it wants to be sure of reliability of the partner, in perfect security the and children.
It is important! If the mistress at the same time is a colleague, it is desirable to think of job change. Otherwise suspicions will be constants, respectively, and scandals.
Treason for the loving woman — heavy blow to the ego and threat to a habitual way of life. Except the oppressing thoughts of own shortcomings, the woman feels quite clear offense. While she created a cosiness, cared for child(children), the beloved spouse sought joys elsewhere.
It is quite difficult to receive forgiveness, it is necessary to make every effort. One of the first steps is a sincere repentance and recognition of the fault. Attempts to shift the blame on the woman, accusing her of hobby for life or eternal fatigue, are not acceptable if you want reconciliation.
From correctly been loss for words, your sincerity and further behavior its final decision will depend. Delays at work, campaigns with friends — it it is necessary to postpone for beer. All free time — only for family.
It is necessary to suffer suspicions, questions of calls, of pastime outdoors nearly on minutes. The woman needs to give full confidence that all contacts with that another are stopped.
The taken place divorce
The divorce at the initiative of the spouse means that the bowl of her patience was overflowed. For the man it is a serious occasion to think of the behavior in family, of mistakes and offenses which led to a situation.
Also it will be useful for you to learn how to return the wife after the divorce.
There is no place to hurry in this case already therefore it is necessary to consider each trifle. First of all, it is necessary to allow it to cool down: while offenses are fresh, a quiet conversation it can not turn out. It is important to understand the reasons. The conflicts on the household soil, treason or sexual dissatisfaction of the spouse are considered above. There are some more reasons of disappointment of the woman in marriage:
- unwillingness of the man to divide duties (life, education of children);
- financial insolvency;
- alcoholism.
Begin communication with the ex-wife with awareness of the fault, with a regret about the offense. Promise to participate and help with the future in all family questions.
If the reason of material character, then, probably, it is necessary to look for work with the best payment, can be to begin own business. For the woman as for mother, it is important to have a financial support and stability.
Alcoholism or game addiction is already the diagnosis, and here without the assistance of experts not to manage. To return darling, it is necessary to change not in words, and in practice. She has to see that your desire is more sincere and to be convinced that she will not walk twice into same water.
Whether you know? In Germany before agreeing to divorce couple, appoint year of the period of thoughts, at the same time couple can live in one apartment, but to conduct life separately. The fast divorce is given in case of domestic violence, drug addiction or alcoholism.
Sharp household conflict
The quarrel can break out because of the outstanding promises made to the spouse. For example, to make, at last, repair, to buy household appliances or to update furniture. Constant reminders of the spouse can cause explosion of emotions where the man, without having mastered itself, will tell mucks. Ostyv, the man, quite perhaps, will regret about told, but a word — not a sparrow, the quarrel took place, the offense is caused. Here without delay it is desirable to apologize, explain what told escaped in a temper. You should not justify youself mad employment or to look for other reasons for outstanding promises.
Convince the wife that you remember the words, and execute everything what spoke about. Your words have to be confirmed with acts.
The quarrel can break out because of inattention to the wife. For example, in family the small child, and it is forced to pay him attention. At the same time on it cooking, cleaning and other everyday issues. The spouse during this period earns money, but often is able to afford to have a rest with friends, naturally, outdoors.
The simple thought that nervous system of the wife experiences enormous strain does not come to the spouse to mind, and the discharge is also necessary for it. Think of the fact that she sees day by day as the routine and constant nervous tension can press on the woman.
Release on one of the weekend or weeknights the spouse to girlfriends. Agree with parents of the wife or the, with relatives on whom it is possible to leave the child, you descend together somewhere to have a good time.
Fatigue at work, the new responsible position or age changes in an organism often lead to sexual dysfunction at the man. He shows desire to sexual games less often, and even waves away from the spouse, pleading fatigue. Many men, instead of accepting a problem and to look for solutions, become reserved and often break rage on the wife. It would be desirable to think of what thoughts are caused by such behavior in the woman before. She or suspects that the reason — other woman, or thinks that she ceased to attract the husband.
Badly both. It is impossible to justify itself in the first case. In the second the spouse acquires complexes that too is unhealthy. The solution to the conflict in such situation is a straight talk with the spouse. The problem can be solved, having addressed the sexopathologist, the urologist or the psychologist, depending on a situation.
How to deserve forgiveness of the spouse: effective ways
The persistence, patience and resourcefulness are three cornerstones in successful reconciliation.
Confidential conversation
Married couples often suppress some discontent with the partner, accumulating offenses in themselves. Not desire to speak about a problem, to hear each other and lack of attempts to understand lead to explosion. The husband needs to show a maximum of interest in the second half, to listen to all its claims and wishes. The compromise is a basis of the healthy family relations.
Pleasant surprises
When last time you gave the wife compliments, gave flowers or gifts not for a holiday, and just like that.
Learn how anew to return former passion to the relations.
Remember the rose and candy stage, begin to look after the spouse anew. Arrange a romantic dinner, order flowers with home delivery or for work. If finance allows, order for it the serenade under windows, present jewelry, walk by steamship or in a carriage with a horse team. Options darkness, in the absence of imagination it is possible to consult to her girlfriend, it is that case when it is on your party.
Always unites in common spent vacation, but not on a kitchen garden or in the noisy dusty city, and somewhere at the seas. Let the savage, let on the next river in a tent, but not in luxury hotel. Important, actually, not where, and as.
Whether you know? An unusual gift the poet Mayakovsky presented to the loved Lilia Yurevna BRIC. On a ring it ordered an engraving of its initials around so that the infinite word LOVE turned out.
Written recognition
The offended woman can refuse communication. In this case it is possible to use modern gadgets or in the old manner to write the letter on paper. Today everyone has at least one page in social networks, there is e-mail. It is possible to be creative and here:
- letters with poetry, ideally own composition;
- the enclosed romantic rollers with your participation;
- posts of love contents and video card.
Wrong actions
According to opinion of family psychologists, most of men, sincerely wishing to return the wife, make a number of mistakes, aggravating a situation.
What you should not do, a top of mistakes:
- To devote relatives and friends in the family problems, it will turn back against you.
- To compare the spouse to other women, to cite as an example the friend's wife, the neighbor, etc.
- To attack, being protected — reception in a root not true. It is guilty — apologize, but it is unworthy to say men directly to the offended woman reproaches or charges.
- To beg with tears. Women a priori do not love weaklings, it is necessary to apologize sincerely, but keeping advantage.
- To pursue and threaten. First, it will push away even more, the inadequate man in the house — threat for the child. Threats about suicide — it is nasty and opposite, some kind of shifting of own fault on shoulders of the woman offended by you.
- Hard drinking is a manifestation of weakness, insolvency. Drunk tears cause disgust, and the uproar or threat of violence cause fear. Besides is a right way to degradation, self-destruction.
Important! Do not manipulate children at all, you will strike with it not the wife, and mentality of own fumes.
In conclusion there is a wish to remind that marriage is not an eternal holiday, but everyday life and life once again. From as far as couple is able to agree, respect each other, to hear and live the interests of each other, and the durability of the union will depend.