Quite often happens so: the love did not develop. Perhaps, meek, maybe, unpromising. Or it became just clear that the man and the woman - different people and shines nothing good to them. It is heavy to realize it, but it is even heavier to throw out darling from thoughts and from heart. The feeling took root, it, apparently, fills all heart, and the gap seems necessary, but impossible. Such state can freely bring to a depression. In that case councils of the psychologist can be useful how to release darling.
The love has to be positive feeling. Even if there are quarrels, partings, the love all the same has to be felt as something fine and as valuable. If there is no such feeling, this love can die or address in hatred. It is important to remind himself that the person who loves without reciprocity is anyway happier than the person who does not love anybody. Because his life is filled with something, and more terribly emptiness there is nothing.
If the one-way love brings happiness, then it is not necessary to get rid of it. Simply it is not necessary "to be obsessed" with it, not to think constantly of an adoration subject and if it after all occurred, once he wishes mentally all kind and to be engaged in something useful. Without receiving "feeds", love itself will leave after a while.
But is more often, of course, the one-way or unpromising love brings sufferings, and then it is better to get rid of feeling.
How to release the person from thoughts?
- First, to realize: the feeling is unpromising. There is no chance to be with this person.
- To realize also another: in it there is no your fault. You the wonderful and worthy person, just was not lucky yet. Another (or another) will be able to appreciate your qualities and to fall in love. One-woman men make, nearly half-percent of people, the others loved, at least, twice. Means, and you are waited still at least by one dizzy travel to love.
- If the firm decision is made and there is a question how to release the person from thoughts, councils of the psychologist can help with it. Whether not to register in a training or consultation? If there is no desire, nevertheless it is not necessary to keep everything in itself: it is possible to write the letter in anywhere, to share what boiled with fellow travelers in the train.
- To be engaged in something. To give more than forces to work, to find a new hobby or "to reanimate" old. To take dancing classes, sport, driving on rollers, cross stitching, a paintball or parachute jumps, to get a dog, a cat, a hamster or a python, to go to Paris, Kolomna or to the grandmother to the village.
- To look back. The problem is very serious. But around there are people for whom it is not easier now. Perhaps are those who were not lucky in love too. Perhaps at someone the loved one got sick, it is necessary to run to drugstore, and the patient it is impossible to leave one. Perhaps the old woman who should inform of a heavy bag, the disabled person who should be taken to policlinic, a large family is near: there it is necessary to take a walk with kids while mother boils linen. It is possible to register in volunteers, nothing so helps to get rid of the problems as the help to cope with strangers.
- Saying about how to release the past, that councils of the psychologist here the same, as hints of common sense. To release the past, it is necessary to aim at the future. To make plans for a holiday (or vacation) or next year.
- To set the new object for itself and to convince itself of need of its achievement. For example, to learn Chinese. Or to make something the hands.
- To try to find new acquaintances. Absolutely optional with prospect of the romantic relations, and just to diversify a circle of contacts.
In a question how to release the person, councils of the psychologist as it was possible to notice, come down to one: not to be obsessed with a problem, to pay attention to another, to lead full life. Still nothing is finished, and there will be an opportunity to argue with destiny.
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