Women can saw men in various occasions. They do it at all not from the sadistic nature but only only because do not know other ways to reach understanding of the loved one. How to agree about controversial issues with the representative of a strong half of mankind, without causing in it irritation or protective reaction?
1. Always accurately pronounce the position on any question. For this purpose before formulate clearly for yourself what you are really ready to go to and what actions cause in you internal disagreement.
2. Designate the point of view not categorically and not in the form of the ultimatum: "I will allow to talk to nobody to myself so!"; "Or we marry, or we leave". So it is not necessary. Express the opinion softly and steadily: "You very much are pleasant to me, but I am not ready for cohabitation" or "I will follow you where you will call, but I will not begin to feed the healthy man at own expense".
3. It is important to show the attitude to any situation directly at the time of the events or in advance "to agree ashore" about how you see your relations on the main significant points, but not after a while when the context is lost, and the relevance of a question is exhausted. The barn door after the horse is gone it does not make sense to lock.
4. Do not give up on the words and do not give in, otherwise you will not be readable. If you say today that you are not ready to do so and so, and tomorrow, after his arrangements, agree to everything – it is not worth a pin for your words, so, and to you. Even when the man will keep silent, he will draw conclusions and will begin to lose to you respect. This rule works and in the opposite direction: when you promise something, your words have to be confirmed by actions by all means. Otherwise to you there will be no trust.
5. Do not accuse, do not reproach and do not make a claim: "You use me"; "You constantly lie"; "You …". "You" in the context of charges are better to exclude a pronoun from the speech at all. In such ways you will not achieve not only result necessary to you (correction of a state of affairs), but even understanding. You will only cause protective reaction which is expressed in different forms: the person can be closed from you or begin to attack otvetno. Anyway you so do not solve a problem. You speak only about the feelings or feelings: "I am not ready to talk to you in such tone"; "It is unpleasant to me when you so do". Or ask questions: "Do you want to tell that …?"; "I correctly understand you?"
6. You speak quietly. When the woman raises the voice, at the subconscious level the man perceives any her words as aggression in the address. It involuntarily has an association with mother who shouted when she was angry with it and with it was dissatisfied. Transfer "a skirt – a skirt" works: that raised the voice when she abused, and this with voices raised, – means accuses.