Love or even banal love — quite strong feelings of which it is not always simple to get rid. Well if all experienced emotions are mutual, but there are cases when the woman needs to break the existing link. Let's learn whether it is possible to stop loving quickly how to force itself to say goodbye to feelings and that psychologists in this respect think.
Signs that you do not love the man
It is known that as signs of love not only moral, but also physiological changes at stay near an object of the desire act. The accelerated heartbeat and the overflowing joy — only some of them, but if in the presence of the guy or the husband of a butterfly in a stomach do not appear, then can be spoken with confidence that feelings cooled down.
The following becomes the final evidence of leaving of love:
- lack of any interest in where your half vanishes;
- neutral reaction to all disputable and conflict situations, without any emotional coloring;
- emergence of feeling of happiness and internal satisfaction, is possible with a certain confidence on the near good future when the habitual relations seem completely destroyed;
- the quiet relation to what will be told by friends and the family on your parting.
If you notice at least one of signs in the perception of the man is the already disturbing symptom forcing to reconsider the relation to all happening to you. However, if you can quietly try on on yourself the most part from the specified characteristics, then save the love relationship already late as there is no love just.
Whether you know? On recognizing the man, not less than 10 years of marriage for which your emotional and intellectual connection will only grow are necessary.
The general councils how to stop loving the man
Most often women try to stop loving couple which is not suitable for itself, and here the reasons of the similar decision sometimes a little. If fault to all the unsatisfactory financial position of the elect or his any personal qualities are one, it is much worse when it is necessary to deal with married men, trying to forget them. Anyway the list of the operations performed from the woman will always be identical.
To destroy dependence
The first that holds people next to each other — feeling of attachment to the available tenderness, tactile and moral pleasure, warmth and positive power. To get rid of similar dependence very difficult, especially, if there is nearby no person who could present similar feelings. Try to switch to other types of activity (perhaps, professional), feelings — an important, but not the only component of our life. The less you will endure former experience, meeting the person, the dependence on it will be weaker.
Read how to understand that the man stopped loving.
Disposal of all things which can remind of existence of an object of desire, and reduction of communication with mutual friends will help to accelerate process of a rupture of communication. In a word, it is worth avoiding everything that memory can excite and remind of former dependence.
To leave in the past of a habit
Quite often it happens so that there are no feelings for a long time, and both partners perfectly understand it, but here cannot disperse. Here it is all about habitual comfort and a regular life which to many people is simply terrible to be changed. Try to refuse the habits (for example, to have together coffee in the mornings or to go to shop at the scheduled time) and over time you will feel more freely.
Important! Discredit of an image of darling will help to facilitate process of refusal. Analyze all its negative sides and every day remind yourself of them eventually to be convinced that it is the improper candidate for you.
One more, even more dangerous habit in this case is constant readiness to accept love and attention for itself. In the harmonious relations there is nothing bad in it, but here if you want to stop loving someone, try not to focus attention on manifestation of tender feelings in the party. Having got used to be favourite, it is very difficult to refuse it, but, having reconsidered the relation to such influence, it will become much simpler to breathe.
To cease to feel sorry for him
This point is often relevant for women who consist in the relations with the married man. Suffering and constantly complaining of the life, it skillfully wakes up in you maternal feelings including pity. However practically in each situation this absolutely superfluous, if something is not pleasant to the person, he in every way tries to change it.
Most likely, it is simply comfortable to such man to live on two fronts, so, and he does not deserve your pity. The quicker you realize it, the it will be simpler to cope with the available feelings, all the same nothing good will leave such union. You should not feel sorry also for male whiners who at any opportunity do not refuse to themselves pleasure to complain of vital difficulties. First of all, you the woman who has the right to be weak, leaning on a strong male shoulder. Do not forget that pity — not on what it is worth building the relations, but is desirable to get rid of it and in case there is no intention to keep them.
Not to convince itself that it is a local problem
Love and dependence on other person — not always only your problem. Of course, you have feelings, but here the man can actively warm up them the actions. If he does it unconsciously and has no plans for your further relations, then explain to him that some time to you is better not to communicate therefore it is necessary to leave habitual campaigns on morning coffee or infrequent calls in the past.
Whether you know? The most romantic animals can be considered dolphins. Looking after a female, the male can sing her serenades about 40 minutes in a row.
If the man against break in relations, and it is really necessary only for you, try to limit as much as possible contacts with it, avoiding even casual meetings. Self-sufficient persons with a high self-assessment for certain will quickly accept a situation and will cease to look for you though even especially annoying will bore sooner or later to knock at the closed door.
Councils of psychologists
It is difficult to stop loving the man and to begin new happy life, but it is possible, especially adhering to the following recommendations of psychologists:
- Realize the fact that parting is not doomsday yet, and ahead of you more worthy person precisely waits.
- Place priorities that is especially relevant if it is about love for the married man. Think as far as you are ready to sacrifice future for the sake of rare meetings.
- Put the end to the relations, without keeping the slightest chance of their renewal. Get rid of everything that anyway can remind you of unnecessary communication (first of all, remove the phone number and contacts on social networks).
- Forgive the elect, it is desirable having said directly to him about it. Unpleasant memoirs will not allow to construct the new, healthy relations of the past.
- Dare to condole. Love gaps are always a stress therefore even if you want to be closed in the room and several days to cry, do not refuse it. Negative emotions have to come to light, but not collect inside, the truth and here everything has to be moderately, without long depressions.
- Raising of a self-assessment and return to life, far from the former darling. Try to focus on work or communication with close people and if you lack men's support and the emotional help, communicate to the friend.
- Accept the new life and believe that quite so it will be better for you, without daring to remember the past.
It is important! To be convinced that in your life there are still many happy moments, get to yourself a beautiful notebook in which it will be possible to write down daily the joyful events which happened to you this day.
Be not afraid to cut on live, at sincere and strong love of sincere tortures all the same it will not be possible to avoid therefore it is necessary to realize the incident and just to experience the forthcoming difficulties. You appreciate yourself and do not forget that everything in our life is temporary therefore you should not be obsessed with what does not bring you positive emotions.