The lover is similar to the sapper who walks on the minefield blindfold. And the new worker-meek creature in a month can scheme against the most unsinkable chief. Not to be undermined on the person surprise, it is necessary to look narrowly at the newcomer more attentively.
1. To catch a chameleon. At the household level we approach the person for two reasons. Or in it there is what is not enough for ourselves, or he (she) same (same), as well as I. If same, then, probably, it is safe. It's not trueIt's not true. There are people chameleons for whom to merge with a landscape - natural business. If the new employee can praise and abuse at the same time the same things, and the groom masterly lies, adapting to each member of future family, then it is a disturbing call. Though all of us think that for us the liar and the intriguer will make an exception. We so lovely communicated.
2. To distinguish cruelty. The person who is not able to empathize weaker, not having the need to protect and preserve, not the best option for family life. At some cruelties it is shown more obviously. For example, the person can throw a stone into a homeless animal or with passion tells how he beat first graders. But in general the sadism has many manifestations. The person can even hurt intentionally then to be sorry and care, feeling necessary. And the victim gets to this loop, feeling at the same time fault, pity, fear and gratitude. That it did not occur, it is necessary to listen sensitively as the intonation of the interlocutor when he is fond of the story changes. And to remember that everyone tries to seem better, than it is.
3. To get to the bottom of roots. Sources of deviant, abnormal behavior go to the childhood. To study the person in him as zoologists speak, the native habitat, it is good to get acquainted with his parents, friends. To listen that he tells about the relatives as he communicates with them: politely, roughly, indulgently. It is precipitate to judge by words: the person can be masked - the macho or the general benefactor. It is necessary to judge by real acts and small details. For example, what eyes his relatives look at the person.
4. To get into others skin. The person consists of what he builds around himself. Books, music, culinary addictions and clothes style - all this manifestations of its nature. To study them, it is necessary to ask itself questions: ""He wants to imitate a lump? Whether its reference points are nice to you? With what can I reconcile and what frightens me, despite a love crape?"" Many console themselves that after the wedding, the birth of the child, moving to the new apartment or transition to a new position it or it will change to the best. Miracles happen, but most often the person moves ""features"" to new housing, new family and new age.
5. To prepare for surprises. The person - one of the greatest riddles. And studying its character, temperament, intelligence - process which can drag on for the rest of life. And even after half a century of joint life of the spouse cannot tell for certain that well know each other. But whatever personal features of each person were, the mutual respect and tenderness are capable to overcome any, even the strongest barriers on the way to serene family happiness.