The fear squeezes, presses and torments. Forces to recede, be silent, hang the head. Because of it we run away from what we are afraid of. Because to feel fear – it is very unpleasant. It is terrible to us to be afraid.
What fear actually?
Fears are two types – bodily and psychological. The first protect us. If we are not afraid to get burn or to break a leg, then would not know what is danger and would rush to fire or to an abyss. These fears are necessary, they preserve against death.
And what is psychological fear? It is fear to appear on stage or to take examination, to speak with important people either to get acquainted, have an interview or to refuse … Actually there is nothing terrible in making the speech at the microphone or to change work. Much more terribly for many to look silly, ridiculous or ordinary, to be rejected and condemned, to have feeling of otioseness, shame or humiliation.
The psychological comfort gives to each of us sense of security. And it is our main requirement since the time of the most ancient people. It forces to look for communities, approvals, supports. And, apparently, you will make something not so, you will forget a word, you will be false – the world you osmeyot and will reject. And the fear to test it is so strong that the person rejects any opportunity to appear in such situation. So many complexes arise …
The person and his fear – who main?
If bodily fear if it speaks about health hazard or life – it is necessary to obey it. But shyness, confusion and fear not to meet expectations of all other people, aspiration to general approval should not operate you! Avoiding everything that causes psychological fear, you live as if not at full capacity, not up to the end you feel, bright paints lose much, rejoice less. Also you repeat – "I am not able to do it".
In a situation critical and really terrible when there is even no time to think, people forgot about own life and made feats. Moved them unusual enthusiasm, a great rush. But what to do in usual life when the feat is an overcoming own shyness?
How to win against fear?
– why not to try heroism in living conditions? As to you such reception: you hesitate on something to talk, for example, to the chief long ago, he awfully frightens you. But if you made it – and saved life of the dying child? What would be your choice? Or: you got rid of all the fears, became more free and stronger. What will change in your life? In life of your relatives? For the sake of whom would you step through the fear?
Begin with small. Do not demand from yourself at once and many. The fear seems huge and all-consuming, and you are helpless as the child? So cope with it stealthily, imperceptibly. You can precisely make something. You are afraid to get acquainted – do not get acquainted. Just watch people. You do not look away at once if look at you. Do not refuse when ask about the help. And later – offer it. Ask the road, the exact time, the title of the book even if you know. Do one small short step behind another. And every time – you praise yourself and celebrate the achievements. With each new action your fear becomes less, and you become stronger.
Jump over a barrier
You are afraid to be incompetent, silly, slow and therefore avoid communication or interviews? You are afraid not to cope and therefore you do not undertake some affairs? Choose what you would like to study or master and begin to do it. The more experience and knowledge you receive, the more surely and more competently you feel. You are afraid to drive – you take the wheel with the instructor, you feel discomfort outdoors – go hiking with the company, you feel awkward at acquaintance – never refuse parties invitations and walk with friends, there you learn to find a common language with new acquaintances.
It is not terrible to feel fear. You just did not dare it to check. You ran away earlier, than could be frightened. You were afraid to meet the fear. And you know – he is afraid of it too. Next time do not run away. And he will recede.
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