Sometimes in the relations there are quarrels, trifling and not really. However close people if desired can overcome disorders and come to the decision which will suit both if do not begin to be silent about the offenses.
Silence – not always gold
Silence – not the best tactics to declare the offense. It is possible if you are within several hours, having curled up, to lie on a sofa, to pout and consider a wall, your opponent will suspect that is with you not everything is all right. However at the same time he can write off your state both for offense, and for gastric gripes. And if you answer the question "Something Happened?" that everything be all right, the problem and will remain unresolved. Do not waste in vain time and do not turn troubles which can be solved, in universal problems, start a conversation.
Sometimes the offense is very strong. It smothers, and there is a wish not to talk, and to start something in the person who finished before. In such state you should not start dialogue. You cannot cope with the feelings – take a small respite and go to the street. Be run on the park, turn on the vigorous and aggressive music which will help you to splash out also the feelings in a player, with all the heart kick the stone lying on the road or break the fallen branch. When the storm of emotions in your soul ceases, come back home and begin to speak.
Let's talk about feelings
Many are afraid to speak about the offenses as their words can seem to the partner reproaches and cause aggression, but not desire compromise. Try not just to list the sins of your loved one which aroused at you indignation, and place at the same time emphasis on the feelings. Start up it will be not just dry "You forgot to wash the dishes". Tell how you were tired at work and, having come back home, expected to have a bite quickly in clean kitchen and at last to have a rest, and instead you had to do the cleaning. At this moment it seemed to you that you are not loved, and your work – is not appreciated. Such initial message will be hardly regarded as attacks, and it is possible to work with it: to apologize, assure of the most warm feelings on the relation to each other and to make the schedule of cleaning of the apartment.
Quite perhaps, you have a good memory, and you did not forget how five years ago your loved one handed you as a gift a bouquet of lilies on which he at you an allergy, and during a work involving all hands at work forgot to bring you to hospital. However you should not throw out at one stroke on the opponent all offenses, in particular, old. Discuss problems relevant at the moment, your purpose is not to humiliate the person, having made him wrong in everything, and to find a way of out which does not suit you.