It is not so simple to tell about the feelings. Happens, the person himself not up to the end understands these feelings and when time to share them comes – at all falls into a stupor. Confusion and shyness – too not the best assistants in this case. But to explain that you feel, sometimes it is vital. How to tell about the feelings that you were understood and heard?
Instruction
1. Feelings are various: bewilderment, grief, melancholy, joy, happiness … If not to state them, then the people surrounding you will simply consider that you feel nothing. So happens quite often. Therefore first of all to begin to show the feelings to people around, admit to yourself that you have certain feelings. Decide to state them. Honest expression of the feelings will allow you to construct really harmonious and sincere relations with people around, it is base in human relations.
2. You watch to giving an assessment to people around, and to speak from the first person. For example, if you are upset with the fact that your partner was home so late, but did not warn you in advance, you, most likely, will tell this person that he behaves insensitively and badly in relation to you. Instead you should tell that you are upset by similar that you waited for him earlier and hoped for a fast meeting. You say about what you feel even if it looks inconsistently. The fact is that people, both adults, and children, very much do not love when they are criticized or estimated. Even trying to report that to you it is bad, you risk to be not heard if you invest it with reproach or a claim to which other person will react a protest.
3. You speak about the feelings simple tone. Quite often happens what to tell simple words that to you it is sad or sick, cheerful or disturbing – incredibly difficult. People in this case use a wrapper: irony, sarcasm, joke. But the interlocutor will not understand that you is sincere, he and will decide that it is irony or sarcasm. Than your tone and words are simpler, than subjects high probability of the fact that the sense which they express will reach the addressee.
4. Choose time. Sometimes people hurry "to throw out" everything that concerns them on the head of the interlocutor, without noticing that he was tired or is anxious with something. The more important to you that you were heard, the more carefully choose a moment to tell about the feelings. Of course, you should not go also into the return extremes: considering that there is no right moment, not to tell anything.
5. Happens that the person so long inhibited in himself not only desire to share the feelings, but also their that it turns out that it is difficult to tell about them even to himself. To understand that you feel, it is useful to keep a diary. It is practice which is often advised by psychologists and psychotherapists. Still Leo Tolstoy wrote that the diary is a way to talk with itself, to true itself. Do not miss such opportunity. Having realized what your feelings, you will find a way to express them in the best way.