Concept of love at all a miscellaneous. Some people often fall in love and assume that they perfectly know this feeling. And others are not sure that their feeling is not just hobby.
Modern methods of researches in psychology and physiology allow to study more deeply own emotions and to note important markers in the relations to define whether really you are in love.
How to define that fell in love?
Modern knowledge of love and feelings is based on scientific researches of such organizations as Kinsey's Institute — establishment on studying issues of sex and reproductibility, and other research centers.
Among the main markers of love they note the following:
- Visual contact — one of signs of great interest to each other. Couples blocking visual contact are in more strong emotional connection, than those who can look normally in the face each other within several minutes.
- The brain of the person in love looks the same as a brain of the person which accepted cocaine. It occurs thanks to dopamine (happiness hormone) which is produced by an organism in both cases. Besides it explains why acts of the person are illogical.
- If you love someone, then can feel that you think of it constantly. It occurs because your brain releases feniletilamin, known as "love drug". This hormone creates feeling of hobby for the partner. The same state arises when you use chocolate.
- The so-called "compassionate love" is one of the brightest signs of the healthy relations. It means that you are ready to leave a way to make life of your partner easier and happy. You can find out that it is necessary to you that the partner has breakfast in the morning or did not get wet in the rain.
- The love is also a stress source. If you find out that you began to worry much more, then it is connected with love.
- You can begin to try those things which are used by your partner. It can be new dishes, sports and anything.
- The excess perspiration and symptoms similar to a stress are some of important signs of love.
- You feel comfortable and in safety near this person.
Important! The research of the anesthetizing properties conducted by Medical school of Stanford University was that participants looked someone whom they loved at the photo. It is as a result established that contemplation of darling reduces moderate pain to 40% and strong — up to 15%.
What is love?
The love is at the same time and simply, and it is difficult.
We often say:
- I love the husband;
- I love the sister;
- I love the career;
- I love warm nights.
It means that it is possible to speak about different levels of love and its different understanding:
- the first situation designates that the husband — the sexual and romantic partner and also the person to whom you trust;
- the second means that you trust the sister and divide with her some thoughts;
- the third says that you like your work.
- the fourth reports that warm nights are forced you to feel is weakened and with calm.
Ancient Greeks divided love into 4 levels:
- basic related relations;
- friendship;
- sexual and romantic love;
- divine love.
They interpreted love as feeling or feeling. Both Platon, and Socrates described this emotion so: "The love is a serious mental disease" and "The love is a madness". Respectively, exact definition of love does not exist.
Whether you know? To make a good or bad impression on other person, only 4 minutes are necessary. It is considered that the first impression depends on language of a body, speed of a voice, a timbre, but not on what you will tell.
Signs of the person in love
Sometimes it is hard to say that someone is in love with you. However some experts in the relations consider that there are ways to claim that at someone strong feelings.
Among signs of the person in love note such:
- This is the person who always near you, even when the carried-out task does not belong to the sphere of his interests. Most likely, he experiences to you deeper emotions.
- You are often crossed with someone a look.
- Loving pays attention to a subject of the interest more, than to other actions or events.
- The lover will care more for your comfort, than for the.
- The one who is in love, will remember your birthday, your favourite color, a favourite dish and a set of other trifles because they make sense for you.
- Lovers acquaint each other with important elements of the life.
Differences of love from love
It is quite difficult to receive accurate definition for both concepts. It is logical that without love there is no sense to speak about love. Then the love is deeper manifestation of love. It is based that you need the partner, you have common interests, you care about each other and have a set of other common ground. Our language is quite difficult phenomenon, and the lexical meaning not always conveys that meaning of which you would like to inform therefore we add other definitions to the concept "love": "true", "absolute". They place accents, strengthen emotional or ethical coloring.
Whether you know? The feeling of happiness, wellbeing and love are connected with lower level of serotonin and higher level of hormone of cortisol in blood. Respectively, those at whom this level is higher initially fall in love quicker and more often than the others.
How to understand that it is really love, but not a habit?
Romantic love and true love — phrases with different internal filling. We connect romantic love with love, admiration of the partner more. We consider it fleeting, lasting no more than several months. And here the habit is a contrast to feeling of ardent love.
The true love lasts many years and even the whole life. It often comes from romantic love. For those couples which want to construct the relations based on true love it is important to remember that nothing will be eternal if not to work on the relations and not to support them. Over time many couples ask a question whether they feel true love or in their life there were only habits. To define whether your love just is a habit, it is enough to you to analyze the following aspects of your relations:
- Intimate aspect. In the period of love there is a passion. More mature couples in a condition of true love define proximity as understanding and personal communication with other person which is much deeper, than physical inclination. And if the relations became a habit, then from them all accompanying emotions disappear, and the proximity occurs "on a habit" or "in the line of duty".
- Love endures take-off and falling, feels confusion of feelings. The real love is stable. Couple can depend from each other in respect of comfort, but emotionally remains is connected with each other. If you worry only about dependence, and emotions pass into the background, then these are habits which remained from those times when couple had the best times.
- Love has various reasons. The romantic partner is chosen, proceeding from common interests and desires in the relations. The true love often arises between two people understanding that they have much in common — similar views, desires, values, and want that in their life there were same things. The habit has no special reasons — it just the rest from the previous stage of the relations.
Whether you know? By estimates of psychologists, the romantic love connected by feeling of happiness, sweaty palms, "butterflies in a stomach" and so on lasts only year. After that there comes the true love — this transition is connected with the increased level of neurotrofinovy protein at neogenic couples.
What to do if the guy much younger or is more senior?
One of the most often found questions at teenagers — as it is necessary to treat a situation when the partner is more senior than you. Teenagers in 15–17 years are clever and rather self-confident. But to deal with daily realities, it should be taken into account several moments:
- First of all, the inclination of the girl to the guy who is more senior on age — it is absolutely normal and does not speak about obligatory problems with the father. This just usual sexual inclination and if you find the general subjects for a conversation and a common ground, then it is fine.
- In the majority of the countries sex with minors is crime. But if you already reached majority, then it cannot become an obstacle for the relations.
- Adult couples have no problems because of an age difference because they see many things equally, they can have similar habits, the social status and aspirations. Therefore, for them the age difference does not matter.
- To the teenager, before continuing the relations, once itself answers a number of questions. How comfortably to you if your points of view did not coincide? Whether this person gets on with your friends? Whether treats to you as equal? If you negatively answer them, then it is probably worth holding off the relations. And the main thing, think of that why to this person of the relation with the teenage girl. The person can be more senior than you better in sex, but it as well better, for example, manipulates people.
In any good relations treat the people involved in them with equal respect, and they are equally valuable. Respectively, if you feel disrespect, it is bad and it is not pleasant, irrespective of age.
Read how to make so that the man ran for you.
If the guy is younger, then remember that:
- the age, feelings or maturity are not necessarily connected. The difference in several years in itself does not make you unfortunate or, on the contrary, happy therefore pay attention to the maintenance of the relations, than to age more;
- categories "male child" or "female child" are a scourge of the world of acquaintances because many people in soul are unripe children. And in this case it is necessary to think of the motivation — whether really you need such relations, "the school student in soul" does not seek to grow and become a man;
- in our culture the meetings with more senior partner are often characterized as a status symbol for young women. For the same reason the woman with younger partner often is considered in negative light. But all these ideas are based only on stereotypes.
What to do if unrequited love?
To love someone very much and soul, and it is mutual — it sounds quite romantically, but the reality can be absolutely another. Pain from love for someone who does not feel the same as you, can be almost intolerable. Let's give a number of councils how to cope with this difficult situation:
- We feel an emotional wound also (and sometimes and in the same part of our brain), as well as a physical trauma. And having got a wound, it is necessary to take care of himself first of all. It does not mean what needs to be slept or eaten much — it is necessary to carry out still daily affairs, as before. Recognize that you feel pain and grief, but go forward.
- Know that you are not lonely. Psychologists consider that 98% of people in any given degree suffered from unrequited love. But if it happens to other people, then for certain many of them are very clever and attractive therefore it is important to understand that it is not you or your shortcomings. Perhaps, you just different or the moment was not right for both of you.
- Continue to communicate with other people. Be not closed, having focused on own offenses and chagrin.
Important! Researches demonstrate that the emotional trauma can cause real physical pain — a state call it "a syndrome of the broken heart", more often it is diagnosed for women. Under the influence of neurons at the time of a stress, substances which have the oppressing impact on activity of a cardiac muscle that leads to breast pains and short wind are produced.
You treat everything that occurs in your life, as invaluable experience. Look for pleasant in the relations, be not obsessed with problems. And we wish you conscious and purposeful love today and every day!