Check of the relations before a campaign in the REGISTRY OFFICE and even official marriage - yet not a guarantee that two persons in love all life will be together. It happens so that the spouse grows cold to the second half, and such situation can come both in 3 years, and through 7, and even in 15 years of cohabitation under the same roof. Often the woman learns about it the last, up to the end believing in happy and strong matrimony of two loving hearts. How to understand that the husband does not love the wife any more and whether there are strong indications indicating incorrectness and indifference of blessed?
Marrying darling, many girls and women sacredly believe that their marriage consists in heaven and consequently. will be eternal. And thoughts that the husband can stop loving, divorce, leave to other woman or blaze with hatred to the spouse, do not even come to their mindtheir mind. However in several years the pink glasses are broken about life, soulmates more often notice discontent, reproaches in the address. And then thoughts begin to visit them that the spouse grew cold, ceased to pay due consideration, became angry, irritable, silent. Here also thoughts begin: ""And whether he loves me as earlier?"".
Actually strong indications indicating that the loved one grew cold, ""fused"" or ceased to love, do not exist. It is not written on a forehead, is not expressed in any special behavioural factors. And it is even more difficult to understand and accept to the woman indifference or rejection of the partner when he owing to any reasons hides lack of former feelings. However indirect ""disturbing calls"" it is possible to notice if desired a set, on them and it is worth drawing the close attention.
The main signs that the husband does not love the wife any more
Any woman or the girl dreams to remain always for the beloved beautiful, desired, the best and incomparable. And sometimes the unwillingness to believe in lack of mutual feelings forces the wife to close eyes to dispassionateness, coldness, roughness and indifference of the spouse. However some acts and situations nevertheless cannot be ignored. In the presence of suspicions that the husband ceased to love, changes or hates the second half, it is worth looking from a different angle at the relations, to pay attention to a number of disturbing signs.
- Data of communication to a minimum. If before spouses spent all evenings to the companies of the wife, telling about friends, the work, hobbies, and now became closed, silent, it is worth thinking of problems in relationship. Reliable sign that the husband stopped loving - it is ignoring of questions, dissatisfied muttering instead of answers and desire blessed to bury on arrival home to phone, the laptop screen instead of a serious conversation about clarification of the reasons of such behavior.
- Lack of touches and physical contact. How does the person in love behave? Wants to touch, embrace, gently to touch, carry away in a bed and till the morning not to release. And if the spouse ceased to embrace, touch the wife, turns away a back at night and does not wish to make love, refusing with fatigue? It is worth thinking whether such relations have a future. Here and the dreamer having head in the clouds it is time to prick up the ears whether the husband brought the mistress, to try to find out in what the reason of such dispassionateness of the loved one.
- Obviously shown indifference. The love and hatred boil bright feelings which are very difficult for hiding. And here cold, contemptuous indifference is deprived of any emotions, and it frightens stronger, than the hidden discontent. If the husband ceased to answer questions, shows contempt, dispassionateness, in this case it is already not necessary to speak about love.
- Manifestation of roughness and discontent. The partner who does not love and sometimes worse - just hates the partner, will specially offend her, to be rude, irritate. Such relations are doomed to a failure, to try to restore them and senselessly ""to stick together"". If the spouse in open scoffs at the wife, is capable to talk too glibly not only, but also hands - it is worth thinking of a divorce.
- Demonstration of superiority and selfish behavior. The loving person will never humiliate the soulmate, to be proud of ""ego"", higher salary, force or arrogance. If the partner began to behave selfishly, thinking only of himself, personal comfort and superiority, it is worth thinking whether he stopped loving the wife. Disturbing ""calls"" - humiliation, provocation of quarrels and scandals, disrespect, refusal in money, the help. It is better to leave such tyrants at once, it is impossible to re-educate them.
- Emergence of secrets from the wife. If always kindly the adjusted and open spouse suddenly became silent, closed, put on phone and the computer the passwords, so to him are what to hide. And the first thought which visits the head in such situation is presence of the mistress. Unfortunately, suspicions often are correct, and here already the woman herself has to decide how to her to live further. You should not couple foreign councils, but also it is not necessary to neglect everything too. The best is to bring the man to straight talk to place all points over ""i"".
Also it is possible to refer his irritability, irascibility at the most neutral question or the offer to the suspicious signs forcing to doubt love of the loved one, discontent with food, appearance of the spouse. You should not ignore also unwillingness of the husband to touch, spend house time, emergence of overtime work in the evenings and frequent business trips.
The reasons killing love
The causes of cooling of feelings in the spouse there is a set. It is not pleasant to some that the wife ceases to watch herself after the child's birth, it becomes boring for others in marriage without former hobbies. Some blame for hatred emergence conflict temper of the second half, constant claims on work, salary, household affairs.
Psychologists determined by the main reasons that the love leaves or vanishes:
- lack of the general hobbies, subjects for a talk, interests and friends;
- the excessive persistence or guardianship of the spouse adjoining on suspicions of incorrectness;
- continuous control which is followed by cavils and checks;
- hysterics on any, even insignificant, an occasion, with scandals and quarrels;
- manifestation of disrespect, egoism;
- the shortage of money in family;
- incompatibility in the intimate sphere;
- inability to hear, listen and move towards desires of the spouse.
Before deliberating why the husband began to treat badly, to communicate less, ceased to speak about love, it is worth thinking of the behavior. Perhaps, the reason of cooling of the relations not only in the spouse. If the wife is ready to recognize the mistakes and to improve, marriage can be kept by common efforts of two hearts in love. If because of the constant conflicts the love passed, or hatred to the partner appeared, the divorce is inevitable.
Whether it is worth keeping family by all means?
If the wife came to a conclusion that the husband does not love her whether it is worth being silent, suffer offense and misunderstanding? Or it is necessary to bring the man to frankness, to drive into the corner the arguments and suspicions? Perhaps shouts ""What in me does not suit you?" "and" "Why you humiliate me and ignore?"" will help to solve all problems? Psychologists in such situations recommend one - until suspicions are confirmed with the facts, it is senseless to approve something.
If the husband does not admit that he stopped loving, found other woman or decided to leave family, but is still cold, thoughtful, silent, it is necessary to try to find out from him in what such attitude towards the spouse is. Perhaps it has a long depression because of job loss, or a stress? And the wife already invented a heap of options of a possible divorce with the section of property. But if blessed admitted that brought the mistress, or spitefully proorat in reply about hatred instead of former love, it is not necessary to suffer such relation. An exit here one - a divorce. Yes, it is heavy, difficult, humiliating, but it is better to have some time in despondency and grief then to build new life and even the new relations with the one, loved on interests.
Some women at the message of the husband that he does not love the wife any more leaves her or brought the mistress, continue to cling to the falling defects, hope that everything is formed. However it is necessary to understand - return to the former relations is hardly possible. Such cases - a big rarity and even if spouses meet after the divorce, feeling already absolutely others again. More simply - to release the person, to give him desirable freedom, to accept lack of former love and to try to live in a new way alone.
Councils of psychologists
Many women prefer to suffer silently with anybody without sharing the suspicions, experiences. However it is the biggest mistake capable to lead to a bigger distance of spouses from each other. Experts advise to share the feelings and alarms with close people - mother, girlfriends, fellow workers. Even simple council or a similar situation in family can help to understand someone from acquaintances that to happen in soul at the partner, to find a common language.
Also psychologists give advice to those who seriously suspect about absence at the husband of love, attention and respect for the second half are simple:
- not to be silent, but also not to row, and to take an interest quietly at the spouse in his expectations from marriage, existence of family problems and ways of their decision;
- to analyze the behavior, to exclude rash hysterics, scandals ""out of the blue"";
- to consider prospects on the future, ways of maintaining good relations;
- to take ""break"", having had a rest from each other some time, having spent a vacation separately;
- not to lose hope for resumption of passion.
If the husband actually stopped loving the wife, reported about it to her directly, here experts are uniform in opinion - you should not keep marriage, better to get divorced, but in a civilized way and culturally.