Repeated marriage — business in essence difficult, but is even more difficult when the woman is going to marry the man at whom the first wife died. In such difficult situation there can be a place for emotional problems as there is a certain imagined competition to the late wife. On the soil of imagination the seed of uncertainty in what place the woman takes in the husband's heart is sowed. Before making up the mind to a serious step, think - whether you are ready to marry the widower?
Certainly, marrying, each of partners takes "baggage of the memoirs" connected with its antecedents in new life.
Except knowledge of delicate features of a grief the woman has to possess some information stated in several rules.
1. It is necessary to accept the past, but not to hide of it. Ideal model of the relations of such difficult union — when the man and the woman conduct confidential conversations on all subjects, including the grief endured by the man — the death of the first wife. Showing respect for experience of the drama which once happened in the beloved life, the woman arrives not only nobly, but also is wise.
2. It is necessary to reconcile to memoirs. If the decision to marry the widower is made, it is necessary to be ready to the fact that sometimes the husband will remember aloud the late wife. Silly in this case to be jealous or show the discontent in some other form, from memoirs to the died wife the love for you will not be lowered.
3. Personal belongings. If it is already about cohabitation of couple, then it is necessary to reach compromise in the solution of a delicate question — personal belongings of the late wife. It is natural that the male widower who values the memory of died stores some of its things. But if this fact causes confusion or is simply unpleasant to the present darling — it is necessary to discuss it with the husband, but action demands care, and acceptance of the final decision — manifestation of mercy.
4. To set a clear boundary and limits. It is necessary tactfully to let know to the male widower: the woman with whom he plans to connect the future cannot be his constant "vest", but at the same time explain that you divide with it his misfortune. Importance is represented by feelings of both partners, and the woman deserves respect and understanding. It also should be informed the elect.
5. If it is necessary — not to neglect the help of the expert. Sometimes it happens so that to an impact of a regular negative from the husband personal irritability increases, and the woman just does not know how to it to master the emotions: on the one side of steel, a constant talk about antecedents is unpleasant, with another — the husband is not guilty of anything, he endured the tragedy and shares the grief. In this case it is better for woman to look for the help at the psychologist, the question is rather delicate and the family conflict on its soil threatens with the subsequent mistrust from the husband.
Some women who are in the relations with the widower do not hurry to marry because of unwillingness to be constantly compared to the late first wife of the elect. And for someone the previous life of the beloved does not matter at all. Such women need to create together with the husband new memoirs thanks to which he will understand that life — did not end, and on the contrary — only begins. Near the new woman.