Crisis in the relations can trap any couple, and quite often its end is the gap from the man. In this situation the woman experiences offense, pain, disappointment which are connected with furious desire to reconsider a situation, to find the reasons of parting and to fight up to the end for the love. Whether it is possible to return darling after parting and what techniques exist for this purpose, let's understand.
Before resolutely plunging into fight for return of the man, it is necessary to analyze the possible reasons of break in relations.
Among them psychologists note:
- Discrepancy of characters and interests. Quite often various vital interests, priorities, the purposes become the reason of parting. It is quite difficult to improve the harmonious relations with the person who looks absolutely in other party, thinks differently, wishes another. The discrepancy of interests every month of life causes new problems and difficulties and also prevents both partners to achieve goals.
- Loss of trust. The trust is one of key factors of the happy and long relations. Its loss leads to disappearance of feeling of safety, reliable back, to emergence of bilateral reproaches, suspiciousness, offenses. As a result such painful relations give rise in soul to emptiness and desire something to change, for example, to leave.
- Psychological and emotional violence. Manipulations, control, groundless jealousy, verbal humiliations, demonstration of the power and physical force — all this signs of violence at which one of partners practically always stays in oppressed, suppressed, a depression. At the same time not only men, but also women are capable to show psychoemotional violence.
- The disappointed hopes. The real behavior and vital foundations of the person often do not coincide with that ideal picture which was drawn by other partner. The similar deceived expectations engender rage, anger, irritability, though are based not on reality, and on human illusions. Desire to create from the soulmate eventually leads an ideal on the dreams to parting by agreement: one the real terrestrial partner does not suit, the second — need to correspond to the fictional hero.
- Habit, boredom, loss of a spark. Household problems, different interests, lack of common goals become the reason of a distance of people from each other, emergence in the relations of boredom and a habit. Some couples for years live, without having former feelings, holding a virtual straw: children, work, housing, etc. However the majority of couples in this case at their desire can be saved if in time to notice a problem.
- Financial difficulties. Financial difficulties which are meant not only as deficiency monetary means, but also their correct distribution are considered as one of the most frequent reasons of parting. One of couple is thoughtlessly spent or, on the contrary, too saves that causes in the second offense, disappointment, doubts, imparts feeling of humility and uncertainty.
- Physical and emotional gap. The rupture of physical and emotional connection at which the sexual proximity and communication with each other vanishes is considered a direct way to parting. Owing to such gap there is an uncertainty, disappointment, discontent which induce to find a solution from the outside — at friends, new acquaintances. Thus there is unfaithfulness new of love.
- Sexual incompatibility. The sexual relations are considered as one of main whales on whom family life is under construction therefore at their absence or low quality it is not necessary to count on the long union. Men are more active in the solution of this problem and most often find a way out in the relations on the party.
It is important! In spite of the fact that each family is individual, unique organism with the problems and difficulties, the reasons of a rift in relations practically at all identical. But not all have enough wisdom and experience to distinguish them behind daily quarrels and scandals.
On what only tricks do not go women to return darling. However, furiously proving the love for it and testing doubtful councils of girlfriends or acquaintances in practice, they make a set of mistakes which only push away the former beloved. Experts advise in the course of reconciliation to avoid the following actions:
- To blackmail or threaten. Having despaired of attempts to return darling, women often resort to threats or blackmail. Phrases like I will commit suicide, I all will forgive you, etc. affect men in accuracy on the contrary and are capable to spoil opinion on the girl only. Perhaps, such method will have short-term effect, but relationship from it will not become trusting and happy as return of the soulmate will be in some way compulsory.
- One of the most widespread mistakes made by girls continuation of intimate relations after parting is considered. Satisfying physical needs of the man, it is impossible to achieve his spiritual attachment, especially when the gap was connected with absolutely others, than intim, the reasons.
- The feeling of pity, like blackmail and threats, is not capable to return darling really fully. Working with such method, the woman dooms herself to humiliations, total loss of self-respect and confidence. The similar girl is capable to cause in the man only irritation, and sometimes and disgust.
- Many girls after parting on emotions are often let in a hellbender, showing, thus, the independence of the relations, freedom, indifference. However such method initially failure as after accidental sexual communications it is possible to hope for return of love hardly.
Above-mentioned methods are not effective for return of the former beloved and even at the slightest success are not capable to guarantee long and trusting relationship. It is necessary to get rid as soon as possible of a depression, on the light head to estimate scales of all problem and to make the adequate decision on whether these relations are necessary. And if affirmative answer, then to look for competent techniques and psychological practicians of return of darling.
Whether you know? To men 5 times more difficult to break emotional connection with the former partner, than with the new passion. It designates that at knowledge of some psychological techniques it can be returned, and is 10 times faster.
Certainly, to return darling much more simply and quicker at mutual dialogue. But what to do if former does not want to communicate? The unwillingness to communicate from its party only confirms the decision to leave and begin new life therefore psychologists advise in this situation to work quickly, adhering to a certain technique:
- First of all, the woman needs to show patience, to give to the man time to cool down and think of current situation. To hurriedly return darling, unfortunately, it will not turn out.
- Meetings and sincerity. The sincerity, recognition of the mistakes, readiness to change for the sake of love are highly appreciated by men. At an unexpected meeting which took place accidentally to the girl it is recommended to recognize mistakes, if necessary to ask forgiveness. However, you should not be overzealous, daily to watch for it near the house, to throw with SMS messages with entreaty about forgiveness.
- To take care of the own life. Right tactics which increase chances of return of darling — to take care of the own life, to replace clothes, to change a hairstyle, to find a new hobby, to sign up for self-development courses, etc. The woman has to interest in the behavior, knowledge, hobbies, a manner to put on not only the former beloved, but also, first of all, herself.
- Relatives and friends. Involvement of the immediate family or friends will be failure strategy. To influence thus the person — manipulation which is capable to render short-term effect, having deprived of the partner of option or having caused in it rage, irritation.
- Company or party. It will be remarkable if couple meets in the neutral territory within any party or in the company of mutual friends. In a similar friendly atmosphere it will be much easier to come into contact, the main thing — the lady needs to observe tranquility, to look faultless, not to row and not to shed tears, to behave adequately and surely, to make advances slightly and it is promising to smile. Perhaps, having looked from outside at the beautiful, self-sufficient girl, the man will want to renew the relations again.
It is important! If the arisen situation is connected with strong offense, then the girl should release it for some time. Several weeks later, the offense will cease, and the guy will be able to go for dialogue and even, perhaps, will begin it the first.
Often because of the inexperience or own nonsense of the woman had not one opportunity to return darling, but made mistakes which led to aggravation of a problem. Experts advise after a gap never to use several described below techniques.
Entreaty about return, tears and sufferings — some of the main female tools which women try to return darling. Working with similar manipulations, the woman falls in the man's eyes, causes pity and feeling of irritation. Why to it the uncertain, eternally suffering girl if it is able quietly to find that which knows the own worth.
Begging being to return, the woman calls it for those relations from which it left therefore such position will even more push away him. Near himself the man wants to see and feel the proud, sure girl with self-respect.
After parting many girls try to return the man sex. They seek to realize all its most creative sexual fantasies and even those which in the relations were in category taboo. Similar strategy has no special effect. Yes, the man will regularly come for achievement of the purpose, even, perhaps, will call the first. However, to you it is not necessary to hope for respect and love in the similar relations, the girl here — the available and trouble-free tool for sex.
Whether you know? It is impossible to attract and interest the man repeatedly in the same methods which were used initially. For this reason in attempt to return him to the woman it is necessary to change itself and the behavior.
Any courtesies and even contacts with the man. Psychologists advise for some time to tell categorical no to calls, SMS messages, gifts and flowers, interactions in social networks, etc. Loading with presents it gifts, imposing communication, the girl will be able to cause in being only irritation, to show it the despair and own uncertainty.
If desired to return the young man experts advise not to resort to casual meetings near the house, work. Similar actions cause irritation and the only desire — to be dissolved in crowd in the guy not to see the former love any more. Frequent hits on eyes remind him of all bad that was in the relations. Especially as men have rather sharp mind and understand that similar meetings accidentally — nothing but well planned performance. Quite often women almost violently impose attention former favourite, that is are engaged in a stalkerstvo — pursue, humiliate, offend.
Important! According to statistical data, both men, and women are fond of a stalking. Women in 67% of cases are pursued by men, and here both women (more rare), and men can pursue men (more often).
Depression at the thrown woman — the phenomenon frequent, and in such time she is most of all inclined to commission of nonsenses. Under the influence of depression of the woman are ready to be humiliated, blackmail, panic, to be engaged in self-flagellation. However, all this is a way to development of neurosises, psychological and emotional problems. Presented the stronger sex appreciate sure, proud and self-sufficient women, and the world mourning for the former relations causes only feeling of pity and irritation. It is necessary to try to get rid of such state, to distract, travel, remove all objects and things reminding of a subject of sufferings. Eventually at aggravation of a depression it is necessary to ask for the help the professional.
Frequent the first thought which is formed in the head of the dumped girlfriend is revenge. But, as the classic spoke: Revenge is a dish which is served cold. You should not think out the plan to sweep and implement it in the nearest future during moments of an eye. It is necessary to understand that, having hurt the person and it is unpleasant, it will be quite difficult to return its and his good attitude, and sometimes and it is impossible. It is recommended to calm down and wait some time, for this period of emotion will settle, and desire of revenge will disappear.
Read how to win the man's heart.
The attempt to return darling can not always come to the end successfully, especially when the relations lasted short time. But you should not fall into despair as the end of the old relations steadily involves the beginning of new. And now the main task of the woman is not to make similar mistakes.
Parting with the man is not a reason for a depression, and gives an opportunity to analyze possible mistakes in the relations. Analyzing behavioural factors of the woman, it is possible to be convinced that very often she cannot objectively argue and is guided only by emotions. When emotions cease, follows, abstracting from a situation, to accurately define the mistakes and to record them on the sheet of paper. Perhaps, in the last relations the girl was too persuasive or, on the contrary, indifferent, inattentive, sexually cold, jealous, etc.
Both partners, as a rule, are guilty of break in relations, and it is not necessary to shift all blame on himself. In this case it is necessary to realize mistakes, to analyze them, to accept and try to make so that in the new relations they did not repeat.
One of the hugest pluses of break in relations is an opportunity to take care closely of the own life: to change image, a hairstyle, a make-up, to play sports, to register in various trainings and courses, to find a new hobby. It is necessary to understand that the woman who was thrown by the man is not able to afford to be in a condition of a depression long. Experts recommend to take away for sufferings a certain period of time, for example, week or month. Further it is necessary to be restored to life, to regenerate: to fill day with positive emotions, to strike up new acquaintances, to look after itself. If the former beloved also wants to return, then only to the assured, blossoming and happy woman.
If the attempt to return the guy was not crowned with success, then the girl should not lower hands, and first of all, to accept a situation and completely to release it, having wished mentally to the former beloved of happiness. Quite often parting is followed by a fault complex, and the woman accuses herself that she incorrectly told, incorrectly arrived, at the wrong time has come, etc.
In the relations everyone can make mistakes, however, let they will serve as a good, though cruel lesson, but will not be the tool for self-flagellation. Finishing the relations, it is necessary to leave all the offenses, mistakes, regrets in the past. Psychologists recommend to begin to keep a diary in which to paint the next plans for life and also to make the list of factors which will help to achieve goals. Daily, step by step it is necessary to move ahead by absolutely new, happy period of the life.
To return darling after a gap — rather difficult task, especially if he managed to meet new love. For a start it is necessary to forget about tears, blackmail, humiliations, hysterics which cause in the partner only rage, pity and irritation categorically. The sincerity, confidence, self-respect and a dazzling smile have to become fundamental factors for its return.