There is no man to whom the feeling of jealousy would be unfamiliar. Most of women are sure that manifestation of jealousy from the elect shows his boundless love. However, everything is differently, and its reasons other factors can be perfect. What is men's jealousy when it arises and as to fight against it, let's understand.
What is men's jealousy: characteristic of a state
The jealousy is considered one of the most unpredictable and difficult emotions of the person. Quite often the reasons of men's jealousy are not clear to nobody, at the same time the phenomenon reaches to the point of absurdity.
In terms of psychology, the jealousy is a certain manifestation of fear: fear of loneliness, treachery, loss of control over the partner, dependence on the relations and also painful doubt in fidelity, love.
Most often, the low self-assessment and diffidence becomes the reasons of similar behavior of the man. At the initial stage the representatives of a strong half of mankind try to hide jealousy, constrain emotions.
At this time, when women just do not notice or do not want to notice the slightest shortcomings of the partner, protecting him in the thoughts, looking for him justification. However, with each new episode of life, real or unreasonable, the condition of the man worsens.
Whether you know? The female jealousy is considered the most widespread, women are jealous the elects more often. But men's jealousy deeper, heavy and, quite often, tragic.
It is possible to distinguish the male jealous man on the following signs:
- Emergence of the notions of compulsion. Bright sexual fantasies, unrestrained, sometimes and the sick imagination, draws in the male head the most various situations which the brain models and perceives as real, taking absolutely harmless occasion for base.
- Total control. The man begins to show control over a circle of contacts of the girl, collects data on friends and acquaintances, checks phone calls, electronic correspondence, controls business contacts. Besides, the husband begins to control how the wife — too short puts on, open, fitting.
- Charges without cause. Insignificant, slightest manifestations of sympathy towards the partner from others, are regarded as serious hints on the sexual or love relations. And even insignificant delay, absence from the workplace or at the wrong time the taken call of phone are regarded as treason.
- The condition of the jealous man reaches that he has shadowed the beloved and tries to convict her of treachery in every way.
- Scandals and scenes on public. Violently to impose to the woman sense of guilt and to establish over her control, the man often arranges public flogging, scandals, scenes of jealousy.
Surprisingly, but men in manifestations of jealousy are ready to convince themselves of anything and to believe in it. Psychologists consider that except uncertainty, the similar state is caused:
- examples from private life — treason of the ex-girlfriend or treachery in family of parents, a similar situation at friends, etc.;
- the excessive feeling of property when the woman has to belong only to it, thinks only of it, care only for it;
- pessimistic spirit — negative beliefs that all around bad that happiness cannot last long, and as a result it all the same will leave to another;
- fears — loneliness, uselessness.
The psychology of jealousy of men and women is based on identical factors, however, of its manifestation absolutely different. The guy shows the feelings situationally: Who it gave a ride to you home?, Why you are so brightly painted?, To whom you smile, etc. The jealous man of any trifle which the woman does not even notice attaches huge significance and perceives it as sign of treason.
Important! The most surprising that men with the exaggerated feeling of jealousy in society behave absolutely adequately, they are friendly, are able to win over others. And only wives know what suspicious, nervous, and sometimes, cruel they can be.
What the jealousy is?
The jealousy can be shown in various forms — from easy reproach before dangerous threats. Let's consider how men are jealous and what to do if the state turns into category of critical.
Easy
Agree, it is even pleasant to each woman when her beloved shows unindifference which is the sign of his interest in the partner. Slight jealousy — the normal state at which in the dosed quantities the feeling of men's property is shown. The similar state is capable to stir up couple relations, to cause a spark and to revive former passion provided that it does not pass a frame of legal.
Exaggerated
When business concerns the beloved, not all men are ready to think logically and, instead of slight concern, feel painful fears to be the deceived partner.
Whether you know? It is proved that often the uncertainty is the reason of jealousy. Scientists established that men of low growth are jealous the darling twice more often, than high.
In this case, the jealous man begins to show total control in each sphere of life of the darling: checks phone calls and correspondence, regularly calls on work for to make sure about its location, has shadowed by means of video cameras, navigation. Men constantly show the control and for five-minute delay can make full row.
Pathological
The most dangerous is the pathological state at which the man ceases to control emotions, to become aggressive, cruel, carries on an inadequate talk in which it talks the sheer nonsense and nonsense, is capable to put to the beloved not only moral humiliations, but also physical pain. At the same time the behavior of the woman in this case is not of particular importance — whether she behaves quietly and obediently or tries to resist to the jealous man, he actively continues to slight her. The similar state is similar to a disease at which the man torments victim without cause or finding an occasion in insignificant details.
The pathological jealous man in a stage of alcoholic intoxication when for it it is possible is especially dangerous, it is not simple to raise a hand against the wife, but also to go for murder. In such cases only treatment at the professional will help to save from obsessional neurosis.
Important! Quite often in especially started cases, the person begins to blackmail the beloved, resorts to suicide attempts.
Possible reasons of jealousy
There is a set of the reasons of origin in the man of feeling of jealousy and, as a rule, they depend on the person, behavior of the soulmate, vital circumstances. Nevertheless, it is possible to distinguish three basic from the main reasons.
Desire to ego-trip
Flabby, infantile, uncertain men rather often try to ego-trip at the expense of a female and are ready to splash out, as jealousy, on it all negative connected with their personal problems and failures.
At the same time it is absolutely unimportant whether there is a real reason for jealousy, or it is absent. Applying to the girl moral and, even physical abuse, the partner thus vents rage for the vital misses. The situation becomes complicated if the woman has no opportunity to resist an aggressor, then his rage and anger are sprayed even stronger. For similar males, the jealousy is the tool to show the power, force and greatness. Especially disgustingly scenes of jealousy look at public humiliation when among friends the man tries to humiliate the beloved and to show to attendees the superiority over it.
Diffidence
The diffidence, the underestimated self-assessment, inferiority complex at the man subjects it to doubt absolutely everything and all. At heart such people experience strong emotional experiences, torments, torments on the fact that the partner can find better it, stronger, more cleverly, more beautifully, etc.
Whether you know? Scientists proved that the groundless jealousy significantly reduces the jealous man's life. Constant stresses, alarm, doubts lead to violations in work of a cardiovascular system, to increase in arterial blood pressure, and as a result, to serious problems with health.
How the girl tried to please the guy, he will be able always to find new, sometimes absolutely insignificant, a reason for jealousy. Often, it is pleasant to girls when they are jealous.
Really, in the dosed volumes the slight jealousy is capable to strengthen the relations, to warm up a little cooled down feelings, to cause a spark. However, the uncertainty, suspiciousness of the partner in the relations will remain, invariable is also a fear of loneliness, treachery and treason.
Always there will be someone better for this reason such person constantly exhausts himself and the beloved reproaches, humiliations, scandals. In the course of impetuous control the man does not disdain any weapon: beginning from attempts to cause pity, finishing with real threats.
Rich imagination
His rough imagination and ability to interpret all events after the own fashion is capable to play a dirty trick with especially impressionable man. As a classical example of rough imagination are considered Othello and Desdemona's scarf.
Unfortunately, even in the modern world similar situations not a rarity. Representatives of a strong half of mankind derive inspiration from the most harmless situations: remained longer at work, the colleague brought home, a reunion, etc.
At the same time the man understands groundlessness of the jealousy, but his mind continues to draw colourful scenes of treason of the beloved.
It will be interesting to you to learn how to stop loving the man not to suffer and release.
The jealous man is convinced that the wife changes him, begins to exhaust literally herself and her doubts, scandals, scenes of jealousy. All attempts to object the man are perceived by him as banal justification, so as confirmation of the fact of incorrectness.
The most dangerous that the sick imagination of the satellite can reach catastrophic scales, its charges become just terrible, and during such period the partner is ready to take extreme measures — real treason, if to suffer, then though for a specific case.
How to struggle with jealousy: councils of the psychologist
If the men's jealousy brings dissonance in family, disturbs the harmonious relations, then psychologists recommend to women to fight against it, using the checked methods:
- Not to give a reason. First of all, girls need to cease in any way to provoke the partner: not to be late without prevention, not to put on too revealing clothes on a party where you go without it, to coquet frankly with others, etc. It is recommended to pay more time and attention to darling, in every possible way to prove him the love, respect and fidelity.
- To lift a self-assessment. The self-assured man will never fall to pathological jealousy therefore the woman should lift the jealous man's self-assessment, to say about its uniqueness more often, about as far as he is loved and dear. But at the same time it is not necessary to fall into eternal baby talk — it will only frighten off the elect. Just it is necessary at the right time to let it know that it is unique and only.
- It is quiet to react to flashes of jealousy. It was not kind of difficult, girls need to learn to perceive all reproaches, doubts it is quiet, without scandals and foam at a mouth. The scandalous showdown can develop into a habit and remove stress by other methods it will not turn out any more. At the next jealous splash it is better to leave the partner alone, to go to other room and to give it the chance to calm down.
- To put an example. The partner needs to explain on an example that the groundless jealousy is capable to destroy even the strongest, clean union. The woman should not hide the true feelings and to tell about what she feels during scandal: pain, offense, humiliation. After all, the husband is a person who undertook to protect and protect the wife, and thus he has to arrive.
- Stormy intimate life. Experts recommend to diversify intimate life of couple, to add to it more passion, new feelings. The woman should praise more often the beloved for his bed feats, to kindle in him the real alpha male, to let to it know that he is a real man.
Learn in more detail what is treason.
Many consider jealousy bad trait of character of which at great desire it is possible to get rid at any time. However, in real life the women should deal with the uncertain, flabby or selfish man, the turning mistrust quiet and happy life to real hell. It is possible to fight with the jealous man and it is necessary provided that his state is not pathological. The person with a persuasive mania will be able to be helped only by the professional, and if he wants to get rid of an illness.