Education of the son in incomplete family – a difficult task, on what example the child will have before eyes, directly depends all his further life and relationship. As not to make typical mistakes in a psychological chain "mother son"?
Many modern psychologists with confidence say that the woman alone cannot cope with education of the boy, but it not so. Here first of all it is important to understand what line of conduct to choose as it will affect the child from the first days of his life. Therefore the main rule for single mother has to be not that to tell the child, and how to show the main lines of "real man".
The kid always feels internal state of the mother therefore the constant internal stress of the parent can negatively affect also welfare of the child. Disturbing and intense mother brings up extremely inconsistently, incorrectly alternating excessive overindulgence and severe punishment. The restless atmosphere and also lack of logic in behavior of the parent will make the child whining and whimsical, having deprived of psychological balance.
Judgment that "the child has to have what not was at me" also can affect negatively if to be overzealous with a proprietary instinct. Mothers of this kind, seeing the aspiration of the boy to self-express in own way, take it for "evil will" of the child, perceiving it as intended disobedience. If similar is shown often, at mother the disappointment is developed, there are reproaches and complaints that the grown-up man does not appreciate the education given it at all and leads own life. The son who grew up on similar words will constantly doubt own forces, will become the uncertain and clamped person.
Imperious avtoritariyaUnlike mothers owners who do not understand identity of the son the imperious and authoritative women realize it as well as possible, but act besides incorrectly. Justifying the actions with "the benefit for the child", they impose to sons all judgments and steps. Such mummies violently feed kids, are indifferent to their crying, and regard any disobedience as a revolt, immediately punishing the disobedient child. The result – the man grows psychologically unsuccessful, with isolation and internal aggression in relation to an opposite sex.
In the situations of mother described above do not feel joy of motherhood. They refuse to see in the child the personality and identity. As opposed to it it is necessary to draw the most competent and suitable type of the relations which is characterized by quiet, balanced behavior of the parent who accepts the boy it what it is, taking into account his own requirements without attributing it others desires.
In education of the son by mother there is nothing difficult if to follow several competent advice of psychologists.
The child has to have an opportunity to communicate with men. Here the main thing to understand that your child has to have a male ideal which will be able to become the grandfather, the cousin, the uncle or even the acquaintance. At the same time you should not limit communication, and especially it is not necessary to say that there are no decent men in your environment. It will create understanding that the real man is so big rarity that you should not seek for formation by that even at the boy.Acquaint the child with male heroes from books and cinema. Process of education will become simpler if the child has an idol from literature or cinema, exactly there heroes are shown most extensively. On the example of favourite heroes your son will study that the real man is the fearless, honest and faithful knight capable to cope with any problem, to protect weak and to fight back ill-wishers.
Each child has the right for independent life. Try to recognize that your son has the right to make own decisions and to have various interests. Freedom will help with self-expression and the choice to the teenager quicker and easier to learn to be responsible for the acts and to control a situation.
The maternal love has to be dosed according to age. The small child, whose circle of contacts comes down only to mother, it will be natural to seek for the longest interaction with you. However with age the excessive mother's love and guardianship can become a problem in social development of the teenager.Be not at the same time both mother, and the father. The behavioral type of mother has to be tender, attentive, loving and sensitive, without presence of rigid and imperious men's psychotype. Seeing before itself vulnerable and womanly mother, the boy will instinctively grow up the real man understanding that the opposite sex needs to be protected, loved and respected.
To bring up in the son the courageous and fearless man – definitely difficult task, but the loving mother will cope with any difficulty. The main thing is to believe in itself and the child.