In a love triangle the wife — the husband — the mistress a fundamental corner is the mistress as if she was not present, then and no ill-fated triangle would exist.
About the relations with the married man from the point of view of psychologists read further in article.
Even the most reckless love begins to correspond sooner or later to reason which prompts that the status of the mistress — business shaky and unpromising. Though first flirtation and the twisting novel look the encouraging and kind action. The beloved (if, of course, the relations with the married man are not based upon mercantile basis) shows an obvious affection, is lovely, affable, generous, hazardous in a bed and in the near future promises to leave grown hateful (from his words) the spouse in favor of the present darling and a godsend.
The darling is sure at the beginning that she is better than the wife as the husband of that appears in her embraces, but not matrimonial, brings flowers, kisses and a love heat here, but not there. And moral cats not strongly scrape at heart as in love, as well as in the war, all means are good, and, so especially it is not necessary to bother on this point. But days go what, alas, you will not tell about the lover who of family for some reason everything does not leave. And gradually the understanding having standards of a cold shower is: real life of the lover not here, and where house, status spouse, lawful children, property, habits, favourite house-shoes.
It will be interesting to you to learn how to attract love of the man in the life.
And everything that here is, in the opinion of the lover, only a bonus to its advantages, the entertaining bonus makeweight to a hard share of the head of family. And the mistress is also this makeweight to others real, but not illusory life. Such is statistical humdrum of life which demonstrates that the overwhelming number of adulteries comes to an end not in favor of mistresses. Most of the gone on a spree husbands on various bases, but always equally prefer to keep the families.
There are, of course, cases when the mistress manages to destroy family of the lover and to steal the man in the cozy nest. However these exceptions only confirm the rule: matrimonial prospects at the relations of ladies with married men are sad and unenviable. As psychologists fairly notice if any person by miracle drives out of one hundred people who fell from a skyscraper, it does not mean at all that it is safe to jump from a skyscraper. However life is so various that in it there are also pluses for mistresses who set before themselves other purposes, except withdrawal of the man from family:
- the young maidens who are not burdened with money and moral complexes can raise considerably the welfare at the expense of married, but not greedy men;
- ladies of feministic orientation can by means of married lovers, keeping the freedom and independence of the stronger sex, to have at the same time the checked sexual partner;
- ladies, the anxious search of the standing husband, by means of the married lover have an opportunity to remove a deadline and not to hurry especially in searches, without rushing on the first comer.
The most glorified and tender feeling — the love, as we know, is evil. Sometimes to ladies the lot has to fall in love really with the married man. And unlike those citizens who immensely love money, but nevertheless do not go to plunder banks or to crack ATMs, among maidens much the desperate heads which are ready to crack foreign family meet more often.
Whether you know? Most often one of spouses changes with the one who is known by both spouses.
- What moves fallen in love which connects itself with not free man — desire to snatch any moment of proximity with darling, without thinking on tomorrow, or a dream of the joint future to a grave?
- What gives fallen in love to the partner and what receives from it in exchange, that is to steam the mutual passion which it satisfies overwhelms, or in the relations there are some latent motives up to mercantile?
- Whether the woman fell in love with married, subconsciously avoiding responsibility for the serious relations?
- Whether the formed relations have some future after the first passion inevitably ceases?
As to break family and to take away from it the man extremely seldom is end in itself, it is necessary to aim from the very beginning of communication at creation of trusting relationship which only and can become a basis of future successful matrimonial prospects. In this plan the psychological aspect of the relations not in many respects differs from behavior with the free man. But nevertheless differences are available.
Important! It is necessary to abandon any claims, quarrels and reminders on the promises which were heard once as it will accurately indicate to the man the prospect expecting him and in the future to receive similar scandals at all.
First of all it is necessary to prove to the man that new intimacy will not add to him new problems, and on the contrary, will save from former. An ideal form of behavior with the lover is such at which the woman is not imposed to it, and becomes a necessary element of new life of the elect without which it becomes more difficult for it to do. For this purpose it is necessary to behave most frostily, to give to the partner time for sufficient acquaintance to all aspects of life of the new girlfriend. It is possible once quietly and to firmly explain to darling that the present condition of the relations the woman does not arrange, but then in any way not to force events, giving time to the man for the independent and weighed decision. If it has serious intentions, then he will continue a subject and will take necessary steps. At the same time psychologists consider that in case after the similar conversation passes more than half a year without any consequences, then this communication most likely has no matrimonial prospects.
It is the best of all not to advertize the love relations with the married man even in the closest circle therefore and it is necessary to hold meetings with the lover only where the couple will not be seen with guarantee by someone from relatives or acquaintances. An optimal variant is housing of the woman if she lives itself where it is possible to create the atmosphere of a cosiness and comfort and where the man will be pulled not only by sexual desires.
Read also about that how to find the man of the dream.
If suddenly it is found out that the spouse of the lover does not shine with culinary talents, it is possible to show in this plan the superiority over the competitor, not to mention a bed.
However during communication with the married beloved it is not necessary to criticize his spouse at all, it is kind of negative he expressed her before. Anyway it was its free or involuntary choice, and, criticizing his first darling, practically subject to derision him. Besides, as it was already told, during communication with the lover it is necessary to let it know that all events in couple are a fruit of its conscious and sovereign decision. It considerably lifts a self-assessment of the man and at the same time generates his thirst for that who so successfully stimulates this process.
Whether you know? It agrees to statistics collected by experts, the percent of the fooling-around husbands is much lower among men with high coefficient of intellectual development, than among less clever. At women of a similar trend it is not observed.
As the passionless statistics based on these psychologists, in most cases of pregnancy of the woman from the married lover it shows suggests it to make abortion and often, but not always, offers for this purpose the monetary assistance. The mistress, being in the opinion of most of married men a bonus in their hard fight for existence in this world, with the advent of the child stops being a source of pleasure and rest from household routine and becomes an annoying problem which needs to be solved as fast as possible and without serious consequences for the man.
If for the woman the pregnancy from the beloved was desired and planned, then all further occurs according to that idea which the woman nourished in advance together in the child, knowing about the relation of the partner to his emergence. At unplanned pregnancy the woman should adopt plans for a further current of events spontaneously and individually. At the same time psychologists warn that the mistress's dreams about the fact that future father of the child will leave for the sake of him the already available children if they are, or immediately will throw the wife if they are absent, are practically always insolvent. At best the father of such child after his birth will render financial support, but most often and it does not occur therefore all responsibility for consequences from the child's birth without father falls entirely now on the former mistress.
It was already told about the most unpleasant consequence of the relations with the married man above.
We recommend to you to learn as the man in love behaves.
- levellings of respect for themselves as inevitably it is necessary to adapt to the schedule of others life and to feel at the same time in this life a certain makeweight, but not the full-fledged personality;
- inner tensions between physical love and flashes of hatred because of failure to follow repeatedly made promises to get divorced from wife;
- the arising jealousy on the basis of the growing suspicions that the lover, fooling around, with the same ease can change also the mistress;
- the constant soul pressure connected with need to lie to the family and acquaintances, to hide from them the feelings and the source of these feelings;
- feeling of disappointment because of impossibility to become No. 1 in life of the darling even if from the very beginning the woman also did not apply for this role.
Most often without serious consequences it is much more difficult to break the link with the married lover, than to start it. And here it is difficult to do without councils of experienced experts.
Kind of well was today, it is necessary nevertheless to try to glance in tomorrow, and it is even better — in the day after tomorrow: that there whether safe permission of the long-playing relations is visible, it is impossible to plan the life in the eternal status of the mistress! And whether the family, acquaintances, fellow workers will understand you. And unless it is not clear that if for a long time the lover did not leave family, then will never leave it any more. And if also leaves whether the former mistress will be happy as the wife?
Learn as it is correct to leave the man without having offended him.
Even if the new husband will not begin to change it the same as it was with the former wife that does not have guarantees any, at any quarrel, at any problem exclusively new wife who will surely grow dim against the background of former whatever bad that was earlier will be guilty of family.
If the situation when the lover at the mistress lies to the wife by phone and spins yarns it, it seems to the partner points in her advantage, then it already lost in advance because it means that the partner cares for peace of mind of the wife more, than for an emotional condition of the mistress. Otherwise he would not talk to the wife in the presence of the beloved at all and would ignore her calls once again not to show to the beloved presence of the competitor at it. And here when the lover lies to the mistress that he will get divorced from wife soon, but does not do it, it is a lie not in rescue, and to the detriment. And here it is a high time to correlate oath promises and reality to be convinced of true intentions of the married partner. Understanding this obvious fact becomes the first with resolute step to release from a love dope and cargo of unpromising hopes.
It is important! If the interests of each of participants of the love duet in the sum do not give common interests, then it is an obvious way in anywhere.
When thorough steps in awareness of hopelessness of intimacy with the married man are taken, comes it is time to place all priorities. It is necessary to think over carefully as it is correct to build a conversation, and then to call the partner on a serious conversation, to a descent sweeping aside the next assurances of a fast divorce with the legal wife which will surely follow.
In vain not to irritate either itself, or the partner, it is necessary to inform most correctly ears of the former lover of a thought that he what it is not guilty, and the reason of the termination of the former relations is in legitimate right of the woman for the happy and predicted future with full-fledged family which with the present partner is not looked through because of absolute obstacles and cruel reality in any way. Against the background of the hardness, tranquility and irresistibility of arguments very few people from gentlemen will decide to scroll for the 100-th time the worn-out plate about a fast divorce. After that it is not necessary to answer calls and sms and it is very desirable to leave in general for some time the place of residence, having taken a vacation. Not for nothing still long ago it is noticed: out of sight, out of mind. If from the very beginning the woman did not have enough firmness not to enter into the serious relations with the married man, then at it has to get at least reason in time to understand hopelessness of partnership in an adultery and on the finish of the relations to observe endurance and composure for maintaining sincere health of both parties.