When the family waits for the second kid, it is joy for all. But how the senior child perceives this news and what he at the same time feels?
With the advent of the younger child the situation in family begins to change cardinally. Before the senior was the only child at the mother and the father, and now he should share attention of parents also with the little brother or the little sister. To a degree, irrespective of age, the child feels tension, as a result - there is a feeling of jealousy and property to the parents.
In quarrels and fights rivalry between children for attention of parents and manifestation of bigger love for itself is shown. To avoid the arising conflicts, parents can apply the following recommendations.
Preparation. Several months prior to estimated childbirth tell the child that soon you in family will have one more kid. It is the best of all to speak about it right now when the child can see confirmation of your words.
Family council. It is better to bring together it just before childbirth. Call with one table of all members of your family, including grandmothers and grandfathers who live together with you, and discuss plans for the future. As, for example, the nursery will be arranged. Consider opinion of everyone, especially opinion of the senior child. Quite perhaps it will raise a self-assessment from the fact that adults reckon with his opinion, and, as a result, desire to help will amplify. Tell the child about possible changes in the house with emergence in family of the kid that the habitual course of life will change. That now the senior child into a garden (or into school) will be brought not by mother, but the grandmother, for example, etc. Distribute obligations for care for the kid, having provided to the senior child the choice, than he will be engaged: to swing a bed, for example, or to tell the fairy tale for the night. Thereby the child will feel that he takes active part on an equal basis with parents in education and care for younger. The most important – trust. If the senior asks to take the kid, but you will think that he will not have enough forces, put him in a chair and put the baby on knees, remaining at the same time nearby to check a situation. Entrust the senior child training of younger and pay attention to response of the kid: as he smiles to the senior and babbles. Do not forget to praise the senior child, to him now it is very important. Happens so that the child does not want to help and in every possible way ignores the younger child. Do not force to take part in life of younger, you can encounter hostile reaction. Do not abuse the child for manifestations of jealousy, accept a situation, allocate time for games only with the senior child. Stop any attempts of a competition between children, to the aspiration of children to compare themselves with each other. Separately for everyone emphasize advantages, specifying shortcomings of another. It is much better to teach children to regulate the conflicts, to teach cooperation and diplomacy, naturally, when children became more senior. You remember: the nature of relationship between children fully depends on parents. To minimize the stress connected with the birth of the younger child, parents have to react to needs of the senior children sensitively.