Who does not want to adjust own life and to find personal happiness? Having chosen the partner, the woman hopes that it also is ""that"". But further, when she knows him well, the loving man can be not the prince, but the real tyrant. The earlier the woman will be able to understand it, the less will be negative consequences.
The abuser, i.e. the person who commits violence over other person (both physical, and moral) can be distinguished on the following signs:
1. Charming. Such man always knows how to win over people and to leave only the best memoirs and impressions. All treat him very kindly. If you mention that he treats you badly, then, most likely, you will come across a misunderstanding wall. Such charming man cannot just be bad.
2. Bright positive memories of the first meetings. The beginning of the relations with such man will be very beautiful: gifts, broad gestures and many other things. The gallantry and manifestations of courage obviously distinguish it against the background of other men. Memories of a rose and candy stage heat the woman then very long, even when in the relations there is no good point left any more.
3. Unhealthy jealousy. Of course, each person can feel jealousy, but in a case with the tyrant it will be maniacal. At the beginning of the relations it will not be so obvious. But at some point the woman will understand that she is afraid even to look towards an opposite sex. Accurately realizes that any trifle can enrage her partner. The woman can just think of something special, but the man will arrange because he is sure that she wants to change him or already does it.
4. Ban on communication with friends. It is necessary for the tyrant that the victim did not have friends who can influence on it. Therefore at first he will convince others that the woman in good hands and for her it is not necessary to worry. Then under plausible excuses will alienate the woman from friends to leave only the influence and the point of view. Then will easier operate the victim.
5. Fast proposal. Most of women want to marry courageous, charming and just good man. The tyrant at the beginning of the relations very positive, he creates to himself an image of the ideal groom that it was impossible to refuse to his offer. After marriage the man slowly but surely turns into the monster.
6. Skillful manipulator. The abuser has the plan to make the slave who resignedly submits his ox and to whims of the loving woman. Therefore he will use any manipulations (flattery, belief, intimidation and so forth) to achieve the objective.
7. Does not want the woman to work. While the woman has the earnings, she feels like the self-sufficient personality who can not depend on the soulmate. The financial dependence does it vulnerable, it becomes simpler to be operated, especially, if in family there are children. The feeling of uneasiness increases, suddenly it will be thrown and left without means of support. Therefore the woman feels dependence, and it has less exits from the deadlock (if she wants to leave the torturer).
8. In each company the man will be a miscellaneous. He needs to show the actor's abilities, to find individual approach to each person to gain trust of people and to expand an influence circle.
9. Thirst of the power and control. The purpose of the tyrant is a full submission of the victim. That the woman did not rebel, he at the beginning of the relations introduces different rules which at first are even pleasant to her, the feeling of love and care is created. Words: "The darling, write, please, as soon as you come home, I for you very much worry" seem harmless and express care. But through some time it will already sound absolutely differently: "I did not understand, you that I lost fear. You where for 4 minutes were late with whom you were?". Transition from the first option to the second is too imperceptible, and the woman accepts further such behavior of the man as correct. The situation becomes complicated if the man was imprisoned (the circle of acquaintances criminal expands) or he has very good communications. In this case the abuser is already intoxicated with the power, and thirst of control passes any framework of legal.
10. Does not go on compromises. For the tyrant there is one opinion - it is it. He adheres to it in any situation, even when its position is deprived of sense and mind. The man of it never recognizes therefore he cannot make a compromise.
11. Never it is guilty. Mature, adults can always recognize the mistake. For the abuser to recognize a mistake – it something is similar to loss. And such person is not capable to admit the guilt. Even if he apologizes, you should not take in all good faith, most likely, words just hide manipulation.
12. You feel always guilty. Continuous reproaches and discontent from the man, also indicate that he is a tyrant. Each action of the woman (and especially inaction) is not true in a root, even when it seems absurdity. Its task is in seeding in you sense of guilt.
13. That depreciates, what are you doing. You at last achieved counting for something (not to mention daily things), believe the man of it never will estimate. His answer will be approximately following: "All so can / nothing unique and significant in it no / well and that?". If it assesses your actions positively, then you will feel the importance, lift a self-assessment, and it does not need it at all.
14. Opposite standards. The woman wants to be a partner for the man, to be as equals. The tyrant in the head has double standards. Statements can be the following: "It is strictly forbidden to change, and the woman cannot afford it, and for the man it in the nature of things". I.e. to it it is possible to be tired / to come at work in bad mood / to be late / not to call, and it categorically is impossible for you.
15. Humiliation, criticism, insults, negative suggestions and statements. All this helps to break the victim, to force to think that it is bad in everything, looks not so, everything does incorrectly and at all can be interesting to nobody.
16. Understating of a self-assessment. All influences from the abuser are negatively displayed on the woman's self-assessment. She becomes diffident, diffident, closed. All this helps to lead her in a string. The lead is shorter, the it is less than opportunity to move.
17. Shadowing and feeling of prosecution. The tyrant always has access to the woman's phone: looks through SMS, traces calls, social networks. The victim of the abuser should not have personal space. The man always knows where there is a woman. Therefore at the victim the prosecution mania that everywhere constantly watch it, even when it at home one can develop further. What is not deprived of sense, the tyrant can install the video camera or the listening device there.
18. Fear of loneliness. Inspire in the woman that she has problems with appearance, character and it does everything not as it is necessary. Systematic moral suppression bears fruits, and the victim begins to trust in the words of the torturer. Nobody will fall in love with it any more, and it will remain one until the end of the life. Therefore she thinks that it is better to live though with someone even if this person constantly scoffs at it.
19. Flashes of rage, change of mood. At the abuser the mood often changes, it cannot be satisfied with something, often is dissatisfied with everything – it is considered norm. But if the woman is insolent, does not submit, begins to state to the offender of a claim, then such behavior brings him into uncontrollable rage. In certain cases it comes to an end is deplorable.
20. Hysterics and tears give joy. If the woman begins to cry to the normal man there is a wish to regret her and to calm. In a case with the abuser all in a different way. Sufferings of the victim give the tyrant joy, load with energy and raise a self-assessment. The to you it is worse, the more he rejoices.
21. Feeling of depression. The underestimated self-assessment, constant criticism and discontent of the partner, gradual deleting of the personality have negative effect on a mental condition of the woman. She begins to feel worthless, suppressed and not capable of anything. To all other the constant fatigue and apathy increases.
22. Strong emotional attachment. Despite all suffering which are inflicted by the tyrant at the victim the emotional connection is established with him. All quarrels take place according to one scenario. After the quarrel there comes the long-awaited period of silence, tranquility and the pleasant moments. Then everything repeats, and over time this vicious circle causes dependence in the woman, and becomes similar to receiving "dose", as at the addict.
23. Use of physical force. It is the heaviest stage. When the offender ceases to see the woman in the victim and is capable to raise a hand against it. Even if it seems harmless action (pushed and so forth) – it is also considered use of physical force.
24. Threat of physical violence. The inadequate partner can physically not influence, and just threaten. For example: "I to you will break necks / edges / I will break the head if I learn that you change me". It has very strong impact on the victim which is in a boundary mental state already by this time.
25. You "at acquaintance" and you "now" are two absolutely different persons. It can indicate too that you are in the relations with the tyrant who completely changed your personality and now from you practically nothing remained "the same".
Let's sum up the result. It is necessary for the tyrant from the victim:
- Full submission. Implicit implementation of orders.
- Lack of support at the woman.
- Deleting of the personality, lack of interests and own opinion.
- Fear of the man.
- The woman does not represent how will live without partner.
- To cause emotional attachment to manipulate it.
- Power and control.
- Feeling that it is necessary to nobody.
Nobody wants to enter such relations voluntarily. But even if it occurred, then it is better to understand that you are in the toxic relations which have destructive effect on your life. And then it is necessary to decide what to do next: to leave everything as it is or to take cardinal measures.