Two main issues causing mixed feelings in parents are questions of punishment and a praise. In respect of punishment the controversy is caused not by(with) whether they are necessary, and what form they have to take. Someone considers physical punishment the most effective, and someone categorically does not accept it. Some parents resolve all issues in the form of a conversation, and someone considers that to talk is absolutely useless.
Strangely enough, the praise causes in parents of a contradiction too. Some parents consider that the praise does not happen much and award with enthusiastic exclamations nearly each movement and the word of the child. Others consider that a praise it is necessary to deserve and their children hear pleasant words, having only really made great progress independently.
Actually the surplus of a praise is also dangerous, as well as its shortcoming. The praise at the slightest pretext moreover and for lack of punishments, conducts to the fact that as a result the child grows up spoiled. He does not find it necessary to try, he and so will be praised even if it will do nothing. There is no incentive to self-improvement and setting the purposes and to try to obtain them.
The lack of a praise leads to loss of self-confidence. The child gets used only to constant criticism, considers worthy love only those who deserved it. Including. Such children, growing up, very easily get under influence of the one who the first will meet on their way and will caress. The Nedolyublenny girl in the childhood most often marries nearly the first man who told her a tender word.
As well as in many questions, in it the most optimal variant is the golden mean. The child should not be left without praise in case he reached something, let achievement and small, but in scales of the world of the child it can be the most important at present. And here to praise for what the child is able to do for a long time hardly cost. It is strange to praise the first grader for the fact that he knows a children's quatrain about hare or a bear. Requirements to the child nevertheless have to grow together with him. But it is impossible to confuse a praise with manifestations of love. Even in the absence of a reason for a praise the child can let know that it for parents the most favourite and expensive. To praise an act and to caress the child is different things. Also you should not replace one with another.