Now society shows more and more tolerance to freedom of choice of the person, and on this background there is a question of expediency of such relations as a monogamy. Perhaps, it is a past remnant, and with development of society it is necessary to move further though still Friedrich Engels claimed that the civilization began with formation of full-fledged family. Let's consider a monogamy question in more detail in article.
What is the monogamous relations?
Monogamous call such human relations at which the person has one permanent partner with whom he lives, starts a family, perhaps, brings children. Monogamy can be a constant when the person lives with the partner all the life, or consecutive. At a consecutive monogamy of people consists in the monogamous relations during some period of the life then it has relations of the same type with other person.
The monogamy means something big, than the sexual relations only with one person. Here it is necessary to carry emotional and sensual components without which the monogamous relations are hardly possible if there are no obstacles (fear of venereal or other diseases, severe punishment for treason or illegitimate sex at the legislative level, absence of other potential partners, etc.).
The Iudeo-hristiansky civilization dominating in Europe, a considerable part of Asia and America considers intimate relations at which the person consists in sexual relations with several people, the most serious sin (fornication, adultery).
Whether you know? The Hinduism obliges to have one wife only to shudra — people of the lowest castes; three highest castes can bring respectively 2, 3 and 4 wives. And the Buddhism does not consider a question of number of wives in the religious plane at all, for Buddhists it is more likely a household subject.
Features of the monogamous relations
Any human relations, whether it be friendship, cooperation or the love relations, are the difficult social mechanism dependent on a set of factors. It is rather difficult to give an objective assessment to any given relationship in view of possible ambiguous interpretation of various situations opponents. This statement fully belongs also to a monogamy therefore you should not try to characterize a monogamy from a position well or badly, it is better to consider pluses and minuses of such relations.
It is necessary to distinguish the following from advantages of the constant relations with the only partner:
- You become the owner of an invaluable treasure — reciprocal mutual love, as a bonus receive tranquility, confidence in the future, in the partner and his attitude towards you.
- There is no need in constant search of the partner that has also the material advantages.
- If your relations developed into the status serious monogamous, you can safely make further joint plans for life — to undersign, give birth to children, to get joint property, etc.
- The monogamy is the dominating form of relationship in the world. At all modern freedom of customs nevertheless the majority of couples adhere to a monogamy. Treating this majority, your couple will be normally accepted in society, before you doors of houses of your acquaintances, without fear from their party will be open that your sexual freedom will badly affect their spouses.
- The monogamy is the most comfortable form of family, first of all, for children.
- The monogamy affects the state of health better as physical (lack of risk of developing of venereal and other diseases), and mental (absence of a constant stress because of fear to be thrown, because of the permanent competition to the rival).
- To the half that gives the chance absolutely frankly to be uttered, to discuss something, anything without hiding full confidence and without being afraid.
- You do not have need to be afraid of loneliness, near you constantly there is a person to whom your wellbeing can mean even more, than own.
Important! Professor of the Sheffield university V. Lumma in 2008 tried to reveal interrelation between life expectancy of men and the official status of polygamy in the countries of their accommodation. Results of a research showed that men live longer in the states where the poliginiya is resolved at the legislative level.
Shortcomings of family life with one permanent partner can be considered such characteristics of a monogamy:
- Over time any, even the most sincere relations have property to lose the sharpness. If once you lost the head from each other, then after 10–15 in common lived years of feeling become dull, and it is natural.
- You will not be able to feel really charm of the first love, courtings, kisses, sex any more. Even if you will meet the person who to you will be very nice, and in his eyes will see reciprocity, further a pleasant smile business will not come.
- In the modern world, especially in circles of business, show business, the polygamy among men is considered norm. To the contrary, the monogamy is something abnormal, strange, raising doubts in male solvency. All understand inaccuracy of similar judgment, however because of the settled stereotype be ready to jokes and sneers in your party when business partner learn about your fidelity the wife and unwillingness to bring the mistress.
- The monogamy causes sensation of fear before the obligation to live all life with one person, fear of emergence of satiation, a habit, emergence of the routine ordinary which will ruin marriage in some people.
Main factors of the monogamous relations
- Partners made up the mind to a serious step — to register the relations, having undertaken certain obligations. At the same time they swore the REGISTRY OFFICE at witnesses to be loyal to the spouse, to be near always both in the mountain, and in joy, etc., having fastened an oath with wedding rings. In the same case when one or both partners allow existence of other sexual communications, they will hardly begin to hurry with official marriage (though, of course, there are exceptions).
- The people inclined to the relations with one person, anyway, at least at the subconscious level, connect the future with this person. Respectively, they include in own plans for life of the partner, thus, it is not personal, but general plans. The person inclined to the relations with various partners, most likely, will not begin to make plans for the future with someone one of them.
- The person with whom you live (you meet), constantly uses a pronoun we, it he kind of unites himself and you in a single whole.
- Desire to smooth acute angles in the relations, to remove the causes of the possible conflicts, to adjust mutual understanding. All this rather difficult actions without which, however, it is impossible to adjust family life and it is constantly necessary to work on them. The person inclined to polygamy will not begin to trouble himself similar actions — rather simply to replace the partner, to leave a discomfort zone.
- The aspiration to make your general nest is better, cozier, to arrange well it. And desire to create not rich, namely, a cozy interior — a situation where it would be good only to you together comes out on top.
Important! The Quran allows Muslim men to have up to four wives (and only if the husband can provide all wives to the same extent, without giving anybody preference), and the most part of east women has no anything against such state of affairs. Besides, the polygamy is authorized in a number of the countries of Asia and Africa (Egypt, Syria, the Republic of South Africa, Brunei, Saudi Arabia, the UAE, etc.).
In what difference of the monogamous and polygamous relations
The person building the life on the basis of polygamy during one period of time has relations (which he does not hide) with various partners. In narrower sense, polygamy call a polygamy — a kind of matrimonial life at which one spouses has two and more spouses of other floor. Now such type of relationship meets even in those countries where it would be impossible 40-50 years ago. Unions of this sort can be considered as successful only when all partners entering it know about each other and absolutely normally treat to one another and current situation.
It is impossible to call the relations a polygamy if one of partners brought to himself the lover or the mistress secretly from that with whom lives. This phenomenon has the name treason, or adultery which, by the way, the Bible condemns in the seventh precept.
In spite of the fact that modern society treats absolutely tolerantly various sexual features and orientations, nevertheless the most part of people prefers the monogamous relations. Though not the fact that in the next several decades the mankind will not reconsider the views and prevailing will not become polygamy.
Whether you know? The female polygamy, or a poliandriya meets at some northern people, in Tibet, in the north of India, in Nigeria and Polynesia presently.
Such situation when people aspire to a monogamy, developed many centuries owing to various factors from which it is possible to distinguish the following:
- religious — church extremely is negative to a polygamy, the phenomenon is treated only as sinful, no compromises in this question exist;
- preservation of life and health — for example, in the Middle Ages there was a huge threat of spread of venereal diseases in the absence of means of protection;
- property and hereditary — when the title and lands were transferred from the father to the son, fratricidal wars for fatherly inheritance were inevitable. That to avoid it, it was necessary to regulate a heritage order among the children born in a legal marriage.
The monogamy is peculiar to women more: they first of all appreciate reliability and confidence in tomorrow. So it developed as a result of centuries-old evolution and formation of the social and family relations when the woman first of all had to care for posterity, to be a keeper of the center. For the sake of these purposes (to grow up children, to keep family) most of women was ready even to renounce own interests and wellbeing. Rather often the women unhappy in a marriage hesitate to bring the lover because of fear for the future of family and children.
We advise also to esteem about problems of modern family and ways of their overcoming.
Examples of monogamy in fauna
Some representatives of modern science consider a monogamy not absolutely natural form of the intersexual relations. They prove the position by the fact that the fidelity to the partner is observed by no more than 5% of mammals and to 90% of birds. Despite the provided data, there is rather large number of the animal species and birds who are loyal to the half.
- An animal who is considered a symbol of rigid force, an embodiment of a brutal predator. Despite this a circumstance, wolves create nearly most devoted each other couples. Most often after death of a male the she-wolf does not bring to herself the partner any more. The male answers it not with smaller devotion, protecting a she-wolf to the last.
- Swans, eagles, storks. Very often these birds during all life have only one partner.
- These birds are not simply tied to the half, they are capable to find the permanent partner in huge colony of birds. Besides, penguins have interesting feature of division of matrimonial functions — the female lays eggs, the male hatches out them.
- Form resistant couples, equally dividing duties of family life: when the female is pregnant, the male gets food and feeds her. After the delivery couple sponsors and feeds a cub on average nearly two years that there is a lot of for fauna. Then the matured beaver leaves on search of the half.
The choice problem between a monogamy and a polygamy exists probably since then as the person became reasonable, and it is possible, and earlier. So far various states, nationalities, religions adhere in this question of opposite opinions. However it does not make sense to claim what is correct and what is not present as in a question of the personal relations each free person is free to make own choice if it does not violate the rights of other people.