All of us are the victims of a set of stereotypes. Small children literally from first years of life acquire that cellulitis and caries – it is awful that the man is beautiful only with muscles, and the girl in general has to be masterpiece - obligatory, harmonious, long-legged, successful in everything … But life introduces the amendments, and not everyone becomes beauties, honors pupils, sportswomen, members of the Komsomol.
What is perfectionism many know firsthand, thousands of women, including Slavs, all life aspire to an illusive ideal of themselves. What only they do not do – keep to diets, work and study at the same time, try to be good for all, to please everyone. As a result perfectionism syndrome, that is the aspirations to become perfection, accompanies their all life, bringing only disappointments.
Perfectionism – definition of a word and concept
The word meaning perfectionism can be defined as irrepressible commitment to excellence at any cost. All chronic perfectionists since the childhood have an internal accurate installation – to do everything for 100%, or not to do at all. Such people despise ordinary people, their requirements are high both to themselves, and to people around. Mama-perfektsionistka the daughter will force to sit for days on end at a piano, will not hear ideally played melody yet, and the perfectionist teacher will reduce assessment for the slightest blot. Perfectionists are ashamed of the slightest failure, and can do nothing with it.
Rather serious problem is represented by perfectionism, its reasons often are in the childhood of patient with this disease of the person.
All children feel the need for the unconditional love proceeding from parents or those people who replace them. If mother instead of love makes strict requirements to the kid, expects from him only excellent study, good behavior, all achievements, the child grows up the perfectionist. He tries to deserve very much love, but it turns out not always.
Such person will grow up with subconscious installation - you will be loved, only if you in everything are the best, the first, perfect.
In it the present tragedy by the personality can consist, will never come to such person to mind that mother has to love the child absolute love irrespective of, the excellent student he or the poor student.
Signs of perfectionism
Here the simplest perfectionism test:
If you responded positively to 1-2 statements from the list, your situation is normal if on 3 and more - you have to think whether you have the excellent student's complex. These questions:
- I constantly criticize myself, I abuse for misses and defects.
- Almost always I doubt whether correct I made decisions.
- Carefully I watch appearance, even in a bakery I leave in full rigging.
- I tend to consider the achievements insignificant, and misses - awful.
- In the childhood I was abused and punished for the bad marks, dirty footwear which are not brushed hair, other defects.
- I do not take out criticism in any form.
- I adore expecting everything and to plan.
- In my house ideal purity.
- Sick-lists – a rarity in my life even if it is sick, I go to work/study.
How to struggle with perfectionism?
Such disease as perfectionism of treatment demands only in case it passed into a chronic stage, began to be shown by neurosises and psychological deviations. If before business did not reach yet, you can quite cope with a problem by own efforts.
First of all, you have to fall in love with yourself – together with the shortcomings. Realize what to be mistaken, sometimes to be late and to look quite normal not ideally, neither you, nor people around from it are insured.
Force yourself once a week to live not by rules – late to get up, be lazy, not to wash the dishes and not to iron a shirt. If independently you are not capable to violate rules, ask to help you the friend, darling.
Undoubtedly to try to do everything in the best possible way important, however to observe healthy balance even more important. Enjoy life, afford small weaknesses, and perfectionism will not prevent you to live!