"What is treason: reasons and consequences, types of unfaithfulness

Adultery — the phenomenon is more ancient as the world, in literal sense.

Not without reason the seventh precept says: "Do not commit adultery", adultery means treason.

Let's try to understand what the phenomenon, what reasons of its emergence and how after that to live further is.

What is treason

Treason (in any sense — the Homeland, the oath, the spouse) — violation of obligations, fidelity oaths, treachery. In any context this concept means a treachery element. The concept "treason in love" is not simply close familiar to many people of the planet, it brought sufferings which long poison to a shower, do not allow to trust people.

Sometimes, that treachery of darling becomes the reason for which people not just avoid further the relations, but also do not make family. Anyway, treachery in love of very few people can leave indifferent and often puts a deep psychoemotional trauma to the one to whom changed.

Concerning the concept "treason" of opinion of most of men and women are divided. Many family men consider that the affair on the party which does not have under itself an emotional component, treason is not. It more likely something is similar to masturbation, and in general, polygamy at males at the gene level.

Important! Researches claim, and it is characteristic of of both sexes that people change a thicket with mutual friends (the girlfriend, the friend, the fellow worker). It is explained by the fact that in this situation to both lovers is quieter, more comfortable, it is not favorable to any of them that the situation came up outside, they approximately know what to expect from each other.

And here if it is about the married woman, here everything is much more difficult. The woman, mother at the genetic level is a keeper of a home. She is inclined somewhere even to cross through herself for the sake of preservation of family, perhaps, even to close eyes to treason of the husband.

About that "to look on the left" most, out of the question, if the wife changed - it is something outstanding, to it there cannot be explanations. Though this quite stereotypic opinion which throughout a long time is mainstream.

In what reasons of unfaithfulness and treacheries

So, as we know, to solve a problem, first of all, it is necessary to understand the reasons of its emergence, i.e. the first that it is necessary to know about the touched subject is to establish the most probable causes of the phenomenon. It is possible to carry to such reasons:

1. Monotony, loss of feeling of sharpness in sex. Such situation can lead to loss of interest in purely mechanical act passing according to the same scenario. There is desire to feel something new, "to give peppercorns" to feelings.
2. Various adulteries at work which purpose is promotion or some other bonuses, including material character.
3. Desire to correspond to the established stereotypes in a business environment (boss-secretary, the businessman kept woman etc.).
4. Crisis of middle age. After certain age (40–45 years) many people reinterpret the life. Something, earlier having for them indisputable value, loses the meaning, and something, seeming insignificant, on the contrary, this sense gets. The person begins to regret that he devoted to work, a pursuit of a material component much time, there is a loss, change of reference points which result can be a hobby on the party.
5. Banal "the love passed". Feelings seldom over the years get stronger, more often they develop into a habit, it is necessary to remember it.
6. Hormonal changes at women. For example, in the period of an ovulation the level of hormones sharply raises, changes habitual behavior, as a result the woman can change, sincerely regretting for it further.
7. Dependence on sex.

Whether you know? In Turkey, from the middle of the 90th years of the last century, a penalty for adultery was strongly commuted and now for similar act it is possible to go for 5 years to jail, and to both spouses, but not as earlier — only to the woman. In Afghanistan, Pakistan, Saudi Arabia, the UAE, Iran, Mauritania, Sudan, Nigeria the wife for treason and today the pobiyeniye stones or hanging (in Pakistan), and the husband — only waits for censure of the public.

Signs of adultery

How to distinguish treason, there is a huge amount of material, but the matter quite ticklish and to treat what it will be told below about, follows in the same way.

Before deciding on a showdown, it is necessary to check and be convinced of the treason fact By no means to you it is not necessary to make at once at detection of one or several following signs rows to jealousy and to put an end to your family life. But nevertheless, if you began to notice regular emergence of the following circumstances, sometimes it is necessary to become thoughtful:

• the partner ceases to be interested in family affairs, at him interest in your relations dies away;
• your half constantly stays in a condition of irritation;
• pay attention to phone: the partner spends with him much time, "hangs", does not leave unguarded, deletes SMS;
• the spouse began to come later from work, additional, after-hour tasks, business trips appeared;
• became (began) to pay special attention to own appearance, new linen or sexual clothes appeared;
• smell of someone else's perfume;
• direct detection of things of which you do not know.

It were the signs characteristic of behavior of spouses of both sexes.

We recommend to esteem about types and the reasons of violence in family.

Now is more detailed about specific signs of women's treason:

• the wife avoids intimate life, irritably reacts to touches, after return home tries to retire to the bathroom rather;
• the spouse tries to surprise you with a culinary delicacy for no reason at all though earlier it was not characteristic of her;
• excessive politeness, on the verge of ingratiation which just about can pass into a stage of apologies for something shameful;
• in the apartment ideal purity, the permanent cleaning which is nearly reaching absurdity degree;
• the wife stays being able as if she densely sits on power engineering specialists, she is full of enthusiasm, to all rejoices.

Whether the kiss is treason

Treat kisses of the man and woman differently including to a question whether this action is considered treason. Both those, and others agree in one: the kiss is the most important act of the relations, however give it a different shade. Social researches claim that 3/4 all interviewed men consider a kiss the beginning, the first step on the way which final result is the real treason. At the same time 1/2 all women participating in researches hold that opinion that kiss - it is something bigger, than just treason. The man could change in state of intoxication, without having resisted temptation, having given in to persistent harassments of the liberated colleague on an office party, etc.

And here a kiss — the action which is subconsciously meaning not just the desire of physical proximity and more likely speaking about lack of barriers between people, existence of steady contact, somewhere even at the spiritual level. And it is much more difficult, it speaks about gravity of the possible relations, but not just about an accidental affair.

Important! It is unambiguously possible to claim that most of men and women consider a kiss treason, though give it a different emotional color.

What treason it is impossible to forgive

In certain situations it is extremely difficult, if at all possible, to forgive treachery. Exactly: the concept "treachery" is used not accidentally. It is always difficult to reconcile to what your darling changed, but there are situations when it is necessary to forgive, and it is in certain cases better not to do it. And it will be so better probably for both spouses. Treat such situations:

• it was no isolated case, your spouse perceives violation of fidelity as due;
• any more unites nothing you, there are neither feelings, nor attachment, anything, except a habit;
• one of spouses presents the incorrectness so that another felt the guilty person in the event, reconciled to it, accepted and would blame for everything himself.

However, in case you long enough built the relations and suddenly found out that your spouse had a fleeting affair, it is worth thinking very well whether rather weighty it is the reason that to destroy everything.

In this situation the man can find forces, and the woman wisdom to forgive. And to forgive unconditionally that never to reproach with it at the slightest occasion. Perhaps, current situation will serve you as a good lesson, you will draw conclusions, will understand, than you did not suit the half and will try to change something.

Learn also how to endure a divorce.

How to endure treason

News that you were betrayed shocks any person. At first can seem that the whole world failed. Somewhat it so: the former world really cracked, but it does not mean at all that it cannot be restored.

Quite possibly, it is heavy to you to be alone with the tragedy. Do not try to hide it, talk to the loved one: brother (sister), parents, the best friend or girlfriend. Before sorting out the relations, be defined precisely what you want: partings or continuations of joint life. To deal with a situation most without serious consequences, first of all for you, try to arrive right after the shocking news thus:

1. Try to cool down, you do not hurry to act rashly. A state of shock most often can play a dirty trick: you will make or will tell what you will be sorry subsequently about.
2. You should not hurry. Different people differently react to the incident: some need 2–3 days to recover and adequately to assess a situation, and someone and in half a year is not capable to weigh all circumstances of the event soberly.
3. Present yourself with a fait accompli that everything already happened. Nothing can be returned back, it will not be forgotten how a bad dream. Now you need to be restored completely psychologically and to decide that to do next — to improve the cracked relations or to build new life separately.
4. And, at last, when very hard also it seems that everything failed, you remember: everything passes.

Kind of strongly and sincerely you loved each other how you swore fidelity to death in the REGISTRY OFFICE or/and church very few people are insured from this phenomenon. Sooner or later in life of married couple there can come such moment which at the same time changed spouses can belong with former respect for the official soulmate.

The person is weak, and sometimes it is heavy to it to resist the gushed passion. So really it is impossible to do anything with it, and so tremblingly and the relations which are carefully created for years can fail at once? It appears, it is possible — such is a position of family psychology in this question.

Whether you know? In Papua New Guinea the husbands who learned about betrayal of the wife under the law are obliged to deprive of the head of the rival. The wife is not executed at the same time, and only cut off her a finger which before beheading the got lover is obliged to eat.

To keep and somewhere even to stir interest of the spouse, listen to some councils:

1. Try to be attractive. The speech not so much about visits of gym or to the cosmetologist, how many about appearance in a house situation. It is no secret that hardly to the woman will add sexuality shabby for years and the washed-off dressing gown, and the man — sports pants of the same degree of a zanoshennost with the delayed knees.
2. Do not lose, and protect and increase the general points of interests. You appreciate what you have the general, let it will be even joint Saturday visits of hypermarket, not very well. Remember how you spent together during courtings, before marriage, except you two much time, nobody was necessary to you. Then it began to turn into a routine, later was forgotten absolutely. Do not allow it, common interests and joint occupations, it is unimportant what, unite.
3. Show sincere interest in affairs of the spouse. Dialogue — the foremost and, perhaps, the only effective tool for achievement of understanding. The falseness is unacceptable here, if you are interested at the husband as put him, then he has to see in your eyes that it is really important for you. At emergence of conflict situations, sensitive issues it is not necessary to pass to language of ultimatums at all, asking an edge.
4. Experiment in sex. Do not allow to cool down to your relations on such idle time and the banal reason. What can be simpler, than try something new, perhaps, for you somewhere even forbidden, with your loved one. You should not give the slightest reason for treason only for the reason that you in sex all already arranges and to change something why. Be not afraid to bring sharpness in the relations which just about risk to become fresh.
5. Periodic moderated, not turning into obsession, attacks of jealousy can even be pleasant to your spouse. However the constant persuasive scenes arising because of a showdown can really become the treason reason.

Whether it is worth revenging for treason

One of the most widespread questions which torments the deceived half after understanding of the fact of treason — whether it is worth revenging for it in a similar way. Most of the specialists psychologists specializing in this problem claim unambiguously — no. The fact is that absolutely most part of the interviewed spouses of both sexes, decided on revenge, admitted that the response act did not bring any moral satisfaction. Usually the feeling bigger, than before, devastations becomes result of it. Both men, and women most often after made did not receive the expected simplification or moral pleasure which could stop the felt pain. And many as a result tested even moral torments.

The only thing that can bring content and in something even to become the real revenge is a sincere forgiveness. The normal spouse, seeing the real forgiveness, will feel guilty and to be tormented long with understanding of own falling and your generosity. But it concerns, first of all, only those who really regret for deeds and want continuation of the relations therefore before revenging for treason, well think whether it is worth doing you it.

Read also why the husband does not want the wife.

Treason of darling — the phenomenon really not palatable, somewhere even tragic. As it was already told, this event can unsettle for a long time the one to whom changed, to destroy family life or even forever to change the attitude of the person to an opposite sex (of course, not to the best). However, if all of you fell a victim of treachery, remember that life on it does not come to an end, and try to recover and live quicker further.