Communicating with the child, we do not think that some of our phrases can have very negative consequences for gentle children's mentality and do to the kid essential harm. What phrases should be avoided in a conversation with the child?
"You will not sleep – the babayka will take away", "Will not obey – I will hand over in orphanage". Intimidating the child, we do of him the neurasthenic and we form fears of which then it will be hard to get rid even by means of the good psychologist.
"Bungler! Give better I will make!" Interfering with attempts of the child to work independently, you cultivate in him lack of initiative, diffidence and dependence.
"Look at Katya what she harmonious, and you all lean on rolls …", "Mischa studies as some five, and you are a blockhead". It is not necessary to compare the child to other children – it is so possible to create an inferiority complex which in the future will bring it many problems and disappointments in the little person.
"You at me the most beautiful", "Your schoolmates cannot hold a candle to you!" To overpraise the child also harmfully, as well as to nedokhvalit. The arrogance, high self-esteem and "star fever" are result of an excessive zakhvalivaniye. Such "star" children often have conflicts with peers and there are practically no friends.
"When you such disobedient, I do not love you". The maternal love is that basis on which the attitude of the person, his ability to be happy is under construction. The child has to be sure that he is loved always and under any circumstances. Otherwise his self-confidence is undermined, there are an offense, fear and feeling of inferiority.
"If not you, I would make successful career", "If I had not to potter very much with you, I would look better". Do not charge with responsibility for your failures brittle shoulders of the child, do not force it to feel guilty that your life was not successful.
"All right, take this candy – only leave alone me!" Giving in on the child's arrangements, you give him the power over yourself. Having understood that you can be "broken" whims or moaning, the child will begin to use them regularly to achieve the objectives.